fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4877 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4877 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Homestuck]

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03.

[Eternal Love, aka Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms]

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04.

[Phantom of the Opera]

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05.

[Assassin's Creed: Odyssey]

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06.

[Houseki no Kuni/Land of the Lustrous]

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07.

[The Willougbys]

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08.

[YouTuber: Micharah Tewers]

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09.

[hiveswap/homestuck/ms paint adventures]

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10.

[Black Widow: Bad Blood]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #698.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Um, if she still had a happy childhood without doing those things, is it really that bad...? Like I would feel sad if actual abuse happened, but this is just sorta weird.

She was cut off from the mainstream expressions of the culture she belongs to. It's not like she was off celebrating Hannukah while all her neighbours were doing Christmas. That's sad.

Some kid didn't have the same childhood experiences as the majority of kids and still had a happy childhood and a good relationship with their parents. That's all there is to it to me.

I think there's a difference between 'My parents couldn't afford to take me to Disneyland' and 'My parents wouldn't let me watch Disney movies because Witchcraft'.

Yeah, the comment below has a point. Glad they took the time to write it.

+1 and I don't think it's a very strong argument that being isolated from innocuous common childhood stuff because of religious fundamentalism is "a culture".

it can be, in ways that a lot of people don't realize. it's not about being deprived of something or missing out, but as an ex-christian who knew a LOT of people like that...just because they aren't being hit or screamed at doesn't mean that the sheltering from media doesn't have an impact. her family may or may not be like this, but a lot of religious families carry a stigma with every prohibition. they don't shut it down with a blanket "it's not christian enough" and that's it, there's usually a litany of reasons why it's not allowed. e.g. it shows sex as being normal. it shows gay people. it shows "witchcraft" (which could even include Pokemon because...idk tiny talking animals that disappear into balls is magic??). it shows "rebellion." it talks about drinking. someone said "damn" once. the list goes on. there's a subtle sense that everything has to be judged and weighed, with an accumulative factor that sooner or later every single choice is Wrong and Evil and you're a bad child for even desiring to watch/read/listen to it.

people who haven't had a direct experience with american evangelical culture may not realize just how bad it can be. and even if this particular person's family was nicer and didn't say horrible things, when you grow up in that environment, you grow up basically thinking of yourself as worthless and evil and sinful. that any act of thinking for yourself, speaking up for yourself, or making a different choice than your parents made even now when you're adult and not beholden to them means that you're rebelling and ungodly. the mindfuck isn't as blatant as some examples but it's there. so maybe OP is reacting to that sense that, there's entirely a possibility that this poor girl still has that burden on her shoulders, even if she doesn't show it or talk about it. that every time someone says "wait you never saw Star Wars?" she gets thrown back into that state where her parents' choices ruined her self-esteem or made her worry that she might accidentally be letting the devil into her mind.

that, and we can all say that there's a lot of media, fiction, etc, from which we can learn valuable life lessons even if someone said "damn" once, so hyperchristian taboos end up genuinely depriving people of a chance to learn about life, reality, and so on. it's not that they didn't experience Pokemon 1st gen personally themselves, it's that they were deprived of a chance to learn about friendship and perserverance via Pokemon.

Ok, I see where you're coming from. Perhaps it's making a lot of assumptions about this youtuber in particular, though. But this kind of upbringing does sound terryfing and I would feel pity for someone who went through that.

yeah, I feel kind of similar to this about my upbringing, though I wasn't isolated from other kids' interests for religious reasons (I actually wasn't allowed to play or watch pokemon!). I don't know the youtuber in question or her relationship to her parents, and my parents were otherwise abusive, so I don't really have an unbiased perspective on whether just the lack of media on its own is something that can be harmful, but I understand feeling weird from hearing someone else talk about it, even if things seem okay in her life generally. For me, it would remind me of how lonely not knowing what anyone else my age liked or being able to talk about it with them was.

IDK, again, not something I feel like I can necessarily judge the severity of, given my personal experiences with it.

This.
I was reading about a woman who'd grown up in the Westboro Baptist Church, and while her experience is definitely a unique one, the same kind of 'everything that's not US is BAD' is a thread in a lot of ultra-religious families/communities.

And to me that's...bordering on abuse, because you're coercing a child into thinking a certain way about themselves and about the world, giving them no choices, and then using it against them if the life they're being made to live makes them miserable.

Not every community/family, obvious, but too many.

Yeah, this. I grew up in that sort of culture--not necessarily within my family, but absolutely within my social/religious circles as a kid--and all the above is pretty much spot-on. It's a mindfuck of a subculture, for sure. I had friends who were even further in that than my family was, and I've actually spoken to some of them recently about this subject. There's just a general sense of sadness and loss for something we never had, also in some cases a lot of anger. It's hard to explain how it affects you the rest of your life.

Anyway the short of it is, I totally understand where the OP's coming from, because I get that feeling myself any time I hear someone say they come from a conservative Evangelical homeschooling childhood. All I can do is hope they're living the happy life they want nowadays.

yeah, that last bit is what I was getting at in my long-winded way. that it's less about the media itself and more about what experiences can be associated with it, both in consuming and being forbidden to consume.

anyway thanks everyone above for understanding where I was going despite my rambling. it's very hard after coming out of that world to really articulate what you missed besides not being able to talk Star Wars with your classmates. it's usually more than that and it's very difficult to explain unless you have any tangential experience with the evangelical subculture.

There's a range, though. I grew up in this culture, and while a lot of the kids I knew grew up with parents like you describe, my parents very much weren't that. They certainly had issues, and I've had a lot of issues with them. But not the way you're describing, not to that level. They always wanted us to think for our selves, to make our own choices. We talked about things, talked through media and had genuine conversations. And I don't think we know enough about this woman's parents to say where they fall on the scale and whether it rose to the level of abuse.

i feel like having any sort of heavy-handed "you're not allowed to watch/listen to/read this or that otherwise age-appropriate thing" rules for a child is abuse, to a degree. it's one thing if it's like "you can't watch pg-13 movies because the last one you saw gave you nightmares for a week, so you aren't ready for them just yet."

if it's not for a reason like that, it's trying to control how the child thinks by controlling what they're able to consume. it's saying 'you are not allowed to consume this because it is Bad and Wrong and it will make you think Bad and Wrong things' instead of saying 'let's watch this together and then we can talk about it.' that's how you give kids healthy perspectives on media, not by flat-out cutting them off.

[ SECRET POST #4877 ]

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