fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4912 ]

[ SECRET POST #4912 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4912 ⌋

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I have a vent, and maybe others do too.

My sister basically confirmed today that I was right to cut her off from knowing about my life and me. I can't trust her, and I should have trusted my instincts.

Anyway, she had called yesterday to talk to my mother, and my mother was busy with something, so we were talking while waiting. I had started talking with her more the past couple of months since she's had some rough personal stuff and I've been trying to be a caring sister.

Sister asked about my job interview, so clearly parents had told her about that. I said that I had been told to call Tuesday if the attorney hadn't called to let me know whether I got the job or not. The attorney had told me during the interview that she gets busy and forgets things so that I should call to remind her Tuesday. So I called Tuesday afternoon around 2:30. No one answered the phone, so I called an hour later. My sister tells me that I need to be careful not to call too much because she likes to lecture people, especially me, and always thinks she knows better. I say that thank you, I know that, but I was told to call and she currently is understaffed and is answering the phone herself sometimes and I don't think two calls an hour apart is too much.

I thought that was the end of it, but my sister clearly didn't like my answer. She goes behind my back today and calls and talks to both of my parents, telling them (yes telling, not asking) that they need to talk to me and tell me to not call the office again.

She wants to control my life. She thinks she knows better. And I'm really done this time with sharing any of me with her because she clearly isn't trustworthy.

Anyway, I called the office again today and was able to leave a message. Turns out the attorney is out of the office with something unexpected. I also talked to my current "boss" who hadn't actually returned the call requesting a reference, so that's another rant. He did say he'll give me a positive reference, but I don't know when he'll actually call.

talks to both of my parents, telling them (yes telling, not asking) that they need to talk to me and tell me to not call the office again.

That is fucking nuts. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Like...wow.

Honestly, maybe she's jealous because you have a career people respect, and like, if she can insert herself into your life and feel like she's giving you advice, then she can tell herself that she's even more capable and life-savvy than you are, and not have to face the fact that she's way behind you in that regard.

That's just my thought, as someone who has a shitty job and feels inferior about it.

She's a church organist. Pretty sure that's a respected job (at least here in Texas). She's just controlling and feels like she knows better than everyone else.

Edit: She goes up and down with being happy in her job. SHe's told me she wishes she went to law school. Of course, she took that opportunity to denigrade my choices in specific legal fields because she says she would have choosen the most high powered legal job possible to make the most money possible and that I should have too.

Edited 2020-06-18 00:39 (UTC)

Oof, yeah. Information diet, stat.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I don't have a relationship with my brother because he's a major asshole (he once declared that we needed to "sit down and have a talk about something important", and I thought it was you know, actually important...turned out to be a lecture from him about how I needed to find a boyfriend because it "wasn't normal" that I didn't have one, ugh, just thinking about it pisses me off).

Anyway, yeah. Some siblings just really suck.

wtf!

Wow. That's...I'm impressed you didn't scream at him honestly. Sorry you had to deal with that.

... that conversation would be cringey, invasive and unpleasant enough if coming from a parent but a brother? Yikes.

This is the anon who posted the other day about getting an IUD, so - some medical stuff ahead, but like, minimum details.
I got really worried about things like 'What if it gives me blood clots and I die', so I wrote down a list of questions and had my mum come in with me so I wouldn't be too anxious to ask them. The doctor answered my questions (yes there's a risk of blood clots but it's super tiny, no I probably can't get a hysterectomy damnit), and I agreed to go ahead with it. I also happily accepted the offer of laughing gas to take the edge off.
But they got started! Before! They gave me! The gas!
It really fucking hurt!
It was all over in a few minutes, and I was okay after, just a bit achey and crampy, but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that was unpleasant. I really hope I don't have to do that again for another five years!

(also, I have a psych appointment today that I've waited six months for, it's going to cost a fucking bomb and I really hope I get the result I want!)

I've never had an IUD but I've heard the insertion is not fun. In the future, don't be afraid to say "Hey, weren't you going to give me laughing gas first?" or whatever if you think a step has been skipped. At least it's over!

Sorry it hurt so much, nonny. I winced on your behalf because anything down there hurts for me. I can't do any of the typical gynecological exams because of it.

I really hope you don't have to do it again for a long while either. I also hope it works for you. And I hope your psych appointment goes well and you get everything you need out of it.

AYRT - Thanks! The psych appointment went pretty well, I now have prescriptions for my depression and my ADD, and even though I had to pay $380 at the end they gave it straight back to me because it fell under a specific government scheme.

That's great, nonny. I'm really, really glad. A good psychiatrist and good meds for your mental health are so important. And getting refunded what you paid is even better. Take care of yourself. You are worth it.

So stupid - people NEED PAIN RELIEF. It's a painful thing. Sorry you had to feel that!!

I'm glad you're doing better now, and boo to no hysterectomy.

It is frustrating that especially the pain of women gets minimized by, well, everyone really. Our pain is real and should be treated as such.

AYRT - they gave me the gas and it worked but there was still like a solid minute of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA in there first, which sucked.
It is very annoying that I will probably never be able to get a hysterectomy because I'm never gonna have kids, which is like... I want it gone b/c I'm never gonna use it. But just in case I one day want to use it, they're not going to take it away. >:C
Also because I'm 29, but I feel like that's old enough to know my own mind on this.

Fuck's sake!!
And omg, 29??? That is plenty old enough. Good gods.

I dunno if you're in the states or not, but i do have a list of doctors who will do that surgery without stupid restrictions and questions. There's a list for every state.

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors

I get the same story every time too and I'll be 37 this year. Though to be fair, I haven't asked since the last time I had surgery and that was about 8 years ago.

I use the nuvaring and luckily it's mostly controlled my dysmenorrhea and endometriosis symptoms so I haven't really worried about in a while.

My dad's ego is huge and made entirely out of tissue paper. He's jealous of my therapist and I'm too empathetic for my own good so I'm upset that he's upset, and I tried telling him he matters to me too but he hasn't responded yet and after a stressful meeting earlier where I had to corral three grown adults like I was the adult and they were me, the emotional labor is so much I've been curled up on my bed for over an hour literally staring at the wall because fuck people, fuck the world, fuck everything, I just want to die so I'll never be stressed again and never worry about what anyone else feels especially when I really shouldn't because it's not my damn fault my therapist does her job well enough that I'm closer to her than to my parents and my dad needs to get his own goddamn therapist instead of hinting he feels like I don't love him enough or whatever and then going "lol jk" because I've done that more than enough to know exactly what it means and it means "I'm upset but I don't want to bother you so I'm gonna pretend it's cool" but I know it's not cool and I can't fsjkrgdzehgsrjkdc rgjeilzdthkrlaeodrjhnkcfxr qarwe thyejkathweicfgawike jthkser,c te hjxde rjk e

I'm so sorry, nonny. I want to hug you. Your emotional well being matters. You matter. It does sound like your dad needs a therapist. He shouldn't be unloading all his emotional needs on his kid.

Edited 2020-06-18 00:27 (UTC)

I've been wondering if I have OCD but feel like I can't come forward to any medical professional, let alone afford to go to one, because I've been able to live with it for so long and have been able to cope with it when it gets 'bad'.

(WARNING - SLIGHT DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE)
I tend to have a lot of obsessive thoughts and can't stop thinking about certain things, which sometimes are harmless; like I get songs or sound bytes stuck in my head on a loop, which isn't really the bad thing - but I do notice that when I get more intrusive/disturbing thoughts they get repeated in my head in the same way and I have a hard time not-thinking about it or distracting myself from it.
The one I deal with the most is getting handed sharp objects like knives or scissors by other people (I instantly get images of either getting stabbed or imagine hurting the person handing me it and over think how it would feel and what happens after) - and one of the main reason I can't watch anything realistically gorey in media is because I know it'll stick in my head forever and I'll catch a scene on a loop in my head (like the man getting with with a bottle in Pans Labyrinth).

For the most part I take a moment to think that yep I'm thinking this and move onto doing what I was already doing - but once in a while it'll get to me and I'll feel frustrated/distressed over not being able to stop thinking about something, leading to either a sob-fest by myself or resorting to drinking to help numb up (although I'm thankfully been doing that less since lockdown began with very little access to alcohol in the past three months).
It's not necessarily getting worse at the moment, but it is something I'm becoming more aware of it being there. I had bad experience in the past with seeking help with mental health issues so I'm avoiding that option unless I get really bad, but I don't know if this is just something I'm making a big deal over nothing or if its something I'm suppose to keep and eye on idk.

Grr. My neighbors who have, over the last year or so, cut back my pomegranate, dragonfruit, and loquat (and killed the loquat) for overhanging their yard just cut down half my big apple tree that’s over 30 years old and overhangs their fence, and threw the branches full of unripe apples into my yard.

They’ve never spoken to me about my fruit trees, but when they were cutting back the enormous pine in their yard whose roots routinely invade my sewer pipes and branches are entangled in my power lines, they couldn’t cut it back to their fence line or let me hire someone to do it because it might kill the tree. They have a fire pit under that giant fucking fire ladder of a tree.

They don’t even eat the fucking fruit when they butcher my trees without asking.

If I ever win the lotto, I’m gonna use the money that doesn’t go to friends and charity and family to buy the house from their landlord, kick out their “nightly bonfires while loud and drunk in 95 degree Santa Ana weather, firing mortars during fire warning season” asses, turn that non native pine into mulch, plant an orchard in its place, and rent the house to a bunch of people who always wanted a garden.

They‘ve also called code compliance on my (legal) chickens and complained about my clothesline; meanwhile, there is a rusted van on blocks in their backyard alongside junk heaps under tarps and a small pile of stolen road and freeway signs.

holy crap, what awful people.

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[ SECRET POST #4912 ]

Vent thread

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