case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2020-06-17 06:44 pm

[ SECRET POST #4912 ]


⌈ Secret Post #4912 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 17 secrets from Secret Submission Post #703.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Vent thread

(Anonymous) 2020-06-18 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
I've been wondering if I have OCD but feel like I can't come forward to any medical professional, let alone afford to go to one, because I've been able to live with it for so long and have been able to cope with it when it gets 'bad'.

(WARNING - SLIGHT DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE)
I tend to have a lot of obsessive thoughts and can't stop thinking about certain things, which sometimes are harmless; like I get songs or sound bytes stuck in my head on a loop, which isn't really the bad thing - but I do notice that when I get more intrusive/disturbing thoughts they get repeated in my head in the same way and I have a hard time not-thinking about it or distracting myself from it.
The one I deal with the most is getting handed sharp objects like knives or scissors by other people (I instantly get images of either getting stabbed or imagine hurting the person handing me it and over think how it would feel and what happens after) - and one of the main reason I can't watch anything realistically gorey in media is because I know it'll stick in my head forever and I'll catch a scene on a loop in my head (like the man getting with with a bottle in Pans Labyrinth).

For the most part I take a moment to think that yep I'm thinking this and move onto doing what I was already doing - but once in a while it'll get to me and I'll feel frustrated/distressed over not being able to stop thinking about something, leading to either a sob-fest by myself or resorting to drinking to help numb up (although I'm thankfully been doing that less since lockdown began with very little access to alcohol in the past three months).
It's not necessarily getting worse at the moment, but it is something I'm becoming more aware of it being there. I had bad experience in the past with seeking help with mental health issues so I'm avoiding that option unless I get really bad, but I don't know if this is just something I'm making a big deal over nothing or if its something I'm suppose to keep and eye on idk.