fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4923 ]

[ SECRET POST #4923 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4923 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Legend of the White Snake]

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03.

[Komi Can't Communicate]

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04.

[The Elm-Chanted Forest]

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05.

(Lucifer, Supernatural)

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06.

[Wheel of Time]

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07.

[Queer Eye]

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08.

[Criminal Minds]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 49 secrets from Secret Submission Post #705.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I don't understand people who don't have very basic skills that could save your life, or someone else.

CPR, how to swim, how to start a fire, what to do if someone is choking, etc.

Learn!

And fuck it, I'm adding basic adult shit to the list too. If you can't do laundry or cook or clean a bathroom properly I'm judging the shit out of you. Your parents never taught you? Boo fuckity hoo. Teach your damn self.

Too many fucking people just pickling themselves in their own sealed jars of incompetence and not continuing to learn and grow and better themselves.

We who bothered to are not your mamas.

I can theoretically do all the stuff you listed, but there are a lot of, I guess, functional adult skills I don’t have, and may never have. I try to have sympathy for people who can’t do basic things, because they can probably also do stuff I can’t.

I just honestly wonder how these people survive in the world. How do people not know how to cook? You can go on the internet and find step-by-step recipes complete with videos that teach you how to make pretty much anything! Hell, my housemate just made a paella today. He'd never cooked one before, but he found a recipe online and decided he wanted to try it out so he spent the day making it and guess what, it was delicious and he did a great job.

If you don't know how to do something, there's nothing to stop you from teaching yourself. You're an adult. Act like it and take some initiative.

But that's precisely the reason. No one ever taught them. Not just the duties themselves, but the fact that they need to do them themselves because no one else should be expected to do it for them.

I get the frustration, don't get me wrong. I had only a single parent who, in terms of responsibility, checked out when I was 8, so I ended up doing a lot of care for myself, and was confused by all the kids who told me their parents still did their laundry by the time they were in junior high. But I was also isolated and deprived of knowledge of things like networking, and how to put myself out there for a job, gain experience, open up MY own bank account, attain housing for myself, etc. I didn't learn any of those things until my 30s, but I sure would have loved someone to show me how to do those things much earlier, and not look at me in disgust and disbelief at how I could be so useless and incompetent at my age.

I suppose in the golden age of Google and Youtube, there's no excuse to not learn anything. But I can certainly understand why some might be wired not to, or have fallen into a kind of learned helplessness. It's tempting to call someone lazy or imply they're lesser for not being as knowledgeable as others, but maybe it would be better to drop someone a link, or show them how to do something without the eyerolling. Not do it FOR them, of course, but arm them with the knowledge so that they can do it themselves.

If they still can't do it after that, well... that's another story.

It's exactly judgemental talk like this that leads to people not knowing how to do things.

Please. In this day and age of Google, there is zero excuse for people not looking things up.

Why don't you look up how not to be an asshole?

Lol, +100000000

Nah. Like I get what you're saying, that shaming people doesn't help. But that's not why people don't know how to do basic things for themselves. It's a combination of not being taught and then not taking the initiative to learn for themselves in order to remedy that lack of education. And believe it or not, most people don't really get judged very harshly for stuff like not knowing how to cook because so many people... don't know how to cook. Lack of knowledge gets normalized. Look at all the grown ass men who've never cleaned a toilet.

I see you have some shitty roommates. Best of luck.

I legit lol'd

I would love it if more people knew how to do these things, but it's not like there aren't barriers to learning.

Every time I've taken CPR training (where we also learned what to do if someone is choking), I had to pay for it (or my employer had to pay for it for me).

To learn how to swim, you need access to a safe body of water and someone who can teach you. Not everyone has free access to a pool or lake and has someone to help them learn once they get there. I learned because my parents paid for me to take lessons at the YMCA.

To learn how to build a fire, you need a safe place to build one (fireplace, fire pit, outdoor grill, or a spot outside where it's allowed and it's raked free of leaves and things) and someone to teach you. I learned in the Girl Scouts, but again my parents were able to pay for me to go to camp and do troop camping weekends and things.

Cooking and cleaning have fewer barriers because most households have at least some of the appropriate tools and it's relatively safe to Google these things if no one will teach you. I'm 40 and I'm still learning new skills with cooking and baking, but parents definitely need to teach their kids some basics before they escape into the world.

NAYRT, but at my workplace we’ve been given two options since the pandemic started for cleaning high traffic surfaces—diluted bleach, and an ammonia based cleaner. Assuming that everyone at all 36 locations knew not to mix them turned out to be optimistic. Fortunately, no one died or had to go to the hospital.

See also: how not to put out a grease fire.

Shit, even if everyone at all 36 locations did know not to mix the two, the chances that someone will at some point be distracted and pour the wrong thing into the wrong bottle is incredibly high. People get careless with routine tasks.

The conventional wisdom I had always heard was not "Don't mix ammonia with chlorine bleach" but "Don't mix Comet [brand scouring powder] with bleach." A lot of people may have heard that and did not know the problem was ammonia and chlorine specifically. (In fact, you can buy Comet products with bleach in them, so clearly not all Comet cleaners even contain ammonia.) Basically, don't mix cleaning products and read the warning label!

People like to forget that active segregation of swimming pools and parks is still living memory. The state park where I learned to swim wasn't safe for black people.

Even for kids today, race and income is a big determiner of whether a kid can swim. It also depends on whether the parents know how to swim or fear water or ever do stuff in or on water. The statistic I heard is that 40% of white kids in the US can't swim - which I think is crazy high - but the percentage is even higher for non-white kids. I had a coworker who, despite being white and growing up middle class, didn't learn to swim until she was in her 30s when she enrolled herself in an adult swim class. It seems easy to just chuck your kids in a swim class, but that may cost money and it may be located inconveniently far away at inconvenient times of day, and even after that some parents just don't have the wherewithal to do that.

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[ SECRET POST #4923 ]

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