[ SECRET POST #4932 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4932 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 25 secrets from Secret Submission Post #706.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

So...you have a crush on him? One-sided affairs are not a thing.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the difference between "crush" and "one-sided emotional affair" is the level of investment OP has in their feelings on the matter, which is obviously high enough that OP feels like they is cheating on their significant other.

Unless OP is single and calling it an "affair" because the pro athlete has a significant other, in which case it is absolute nonsense.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I don't know why I didn't think of the OP having an SO, I just assumed they were single for whatever reason. I guess that makes *slightly* more sense, but I still wouldn't consider it a one sided affair of any kind, just...an obsession, probably.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I wouldn't go as far as calling it an obsession as long as OP realizes that the "affair" is all in their head and don't get stalkerish or delusional about it.

The point of emotional affairs is that someone other than your partner is providing high levels of emotional support or being the target of emotions that should usually remain between romantic partners. This can happen even if the other person is completely unaware of it, hence calling it one-sided.

[(Anonymous)]

da

I assumed OP had an SO, but I also assumed they're hardcore religious of the "thinking about doing something is exactly the same as doing it" variety. What most people consider an emotional affair involves two people (at least one of whom is in a monogamous relationship with someone else) having a romantic relationship that's not physical.

Wanting to have a relationship with someone who isn't aware of your feelings while you're in a relationship with someone else isn't any kind of affair. It's an inappropriate, one-sided crush and a good indicator that your current relationship needs work.

[(Anonymous)]

I think I get the distinction

Like, a crush doesn't necessarily account for the level and nature of the interaction maybe?

[(Anonymous)]

If OP has feelings and would pursue a relationship if the other person was interested, that's probably not cool if either or both of them have partners? I'd be so uncomfortable if I found out my partner's friend liked them and they kept talking to them because they liked the attention or if my partner liked a friend but wasn't cheating on me only because that person didn't like them back. That's emotional affair territory to me for sure.

[(Anonymous)]

if my partner liked a friend but wasn't cheating on me only because that person didn't like them back. That's emotional affair territory to me for sure.

I was actually just having a conversation about this kind of thing with my cousin the other day. She was telling me how she knows her BF has feelings for his friend, and the only reason he's with her is because those feelings aren't mutual, but if they were, he'd leave her in a heartbeat. She seemed...strangely okay with that, which I found pretty weird.

[(Anonymous)]

"Affair" implies participation on both sides. If your casual acquaintance Bob keeps asking you back to his place for coffee and sex and you keep turning him down, Bob's not having an affair with you, one-sided or otherwise.

Likewise, if Bob keeps thinking in his head that he wishes you would ask him back to yours for coffee and sex but keeps it to himself, and you still have no interest in Bob, Bob's still not having a one-sided affair with you.

If Bob has a boyfriend already, Bob needs to seriously consider why he's so hung up on you and what's fair to himself and his boyfriend. But you are not actually a part of this equation. There is no affair.