case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2020-07-25 03:58 pm

[ SECRET POST #4950 ]


⌈ Secret Post #4950 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 56 secrets from Secret Submission Post #709.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Question

(Anonymous) 2020-07-25 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
What are you worried about specifically?

Re: Question

(Anonymous) 2020-07-25 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Figuring out if you’re getting on other people’s nerves and how to avoid that when text means tone difficult to read, I guess. Like I get if someone stops replying to you or isn’t enthusiastic about it what that means, but like telling if people are faking kindness, say in a group chat setting, because they don’t want to actually hurt your feelings.

Re: Question

(Anonymous) 2020-07-25 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
da

There's really no way to tell, because there's not necessarily an appreciable difference between how Person A presents when they're faking kindness while praying that a freak storm knocks out all power and cellular service in your area, and how Person B presents when they're genuinely interested in what you're saying.

One strategy is to watch for cues that the conversation on a subject has been exhausted. Have the people you're talking to attempted to change the subject? Let the conversation move along, and don't keep trying to shove it back to your original topic. You can bring it up another day, but it's time to let it go for now. Has the person you're talking to started repeating themself? They've probably reached the limit of their interest in the topic, and it's time to move on.

Re: Question

(Anonymous) 2020-07-25 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I get why you would be nervous about that but imo it's not on you to find out if others might dislike you but try not to show it. Communication is a two street. If someone is annoyed with you but doesn't do anything about it, and keeps replying and being enthusiastic in their messages, then they're doing a bad job of communicating what they want, and it's not your responsibility to pick up the slack.

+1

(Anonymous) 2020-07-25 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
This. If anything, they need the mental health checkup for being hard to communicate with, not you.

Re: Question

(Anonymous) 2020-07-25 10:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think you have to worry because

neurodivergent =/= annoying
neurotypical =/= never annoying

I think you know best how you are and recognize your own patterns. Sometimes people will just ignore you for 29502 other reasons or be unenthusiastic cause that particular topic is just not interesting to them. It happens. Has nothing to do with annoyance.

Re: Question

(Anonymous) 2020-07-26 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I never analyse interactions for that kind of subtlety because it doesn't work. People online are often ESL, so apart from the fact that they might not be aware of the tone and implications of their words, they also come from different cultures that just talk differently (like someone from East Asia might be more polite and formal than someone from Europe). Then there are age and all kinds of societal differences even in one country. Just look at screencaps of text conversations from the US, the people all sound completely different. If I'm talking to strangers on the internet, I give a lot of leeway for that (and I expect others to do the same for me). If I'm in a group chat and the people there are unusually kind, I wouldn't think it was because they thought I was weird – I'd think it was because that's the general tone in this community, or maybe that's how these people always talk online, or they've had a good day and are in the mood to spread some love, or they've been reprimanded somewhere else for being too curt and now try to be more effusive (that happened to me).