fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #711 ]

⌈ Secret Post #711 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 10 pages, 246 secrets from Secret Submission Post #102.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 2 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - letters? wtf I don't know ], [ 1 - doing it wrong ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I always try to listen to other people's opinions and be objective about what they say, try to see it from their point of view, and detect the flaw in my own views.

But so far nobody has given me a good reason why not liking a female character in some show makes me sexist, I only every hear that it does, and I'm sorry but that just makes me angry.

In general, or a particular character?

I'm sorry you're angry, but I hold to my opinion that the more angry and defensive someone gets over being told something like that, the more likely it is that they just don't want to admit to being sexist. Someone who honestly has examined their reasoning and the sexism that they do buy into (because none of us are free from it) is confident and comfortable in their individual choices.

You honestly don't see why being continually told that 'disliking a female character is inherently sexist' might make people angry? Sorry, but it sounds like you're being deliberately obtuse here.

Sure, in a perfect world, people who have valid reasons for disliking a female character would stay totally calm when they're told that they're misogynistic, self-hating, and anti-feminist. But there's only so many times you can argue your point before you give up and start raging all over people.

I think you're being deliberately obtuse. The secret was about "The MORE defensive someone gets... etc." Getting annoyed is one thing. Getting angry, defensive, and flailing everywhere just makes it look like you have something to hide.

Just like if you were getting defensive over anything else.

Because it's totally impossible that when you're repeatedly told you're a homophobe or a misgynist or whatever, you'd get pissed about, when people are ignoring what you're saying and only throwing up a "NOPE YOU ARE A [insert flame here]". I don't know about you, but when someone says that I'm a racist and doesn't listen to the reason why I'm not, I get pissed off about it.
(Different anon, btw.)

You're kind of missing the point here. Getting defensive makes you look more guilty.

Most of the people I've seen who do this take general fandom discussion personally. Lots of fans jump so quickly from "you're saying fandom is sexist for hating her" to "you're saying I'm sexist for hating her, well I'm NOT, so there. *flails on their journal/in a public space/over IM for twenty or thirty minutes*"

(And then they get mad at "all the people calling me misogynist." LOL I'm sorry you have a persecution complex.)

Yeah, people get annoyed even when sexism/homophobia/racism etc. isn't part of it. It's annoying to have someone tell you're thinking so you don't get to speak for yourself. Stick to the arguments, since that's all you can really prove. There's never just one reason somebody will dislike a character.

But so far nobody has given me a good reason why not liking a female character in some show makes me sexist, I only every hear that it does, and I'm sorry but that just makes me angry..

Ditto. I said I dislike Ginny Weasley from Harry Potter, and called her a slut in jest (because really, don't you call characters you don't like stupid names?), and suddenly I was a misogynist. And somehow even though I gave legitimate reasons for why I didn't like Ginny, I was just a misogynist.

I know, I know. CRY MOAR. But that shit is seriously fucking irritating. The way I see it... whether someone is a sexist or not isn't my business, as long as they don't go out and abuse/rape/kill whatever gender it is they hate.

You called her a slut? Even in jest, there's so much baggage related to sexism that comes with that word that I could sort of see why someone would call misogyny on that.

Because there are no underlying social attitudes that might cause discrimination/abuse/rape. Like... say... sexism.

I don't like Ginny either. She's such a poorly developed character, and it makes me woe. She could have been so much better, but JK just failed right there in suddenly trying to make her a big character out of nowhere.

Now, Luna! That bitch was fierce. And Hermione. God, I love her. I think I pretty much love every female, including Fleur, from HP with the single exception of Ginny Weasley.

People have thrown sexiest/racist/etc. at me before for character dislike, even when I explained why I didn't like them. I used to get so angry when I was younger, but now I just shrug my shoulders and walk away. 'Cause anyone who calls an "ism" to try and win an argument is ridiculous and they clearly aren't listening to you at all. Arguing with them is a moot point.

I just ignore them these days.

[ SECRET POST #711 ]

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