[ SECRET POST #4983 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4983 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 07 secrets from Secret Submission Post #713.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Controversial Opinions (Non-fandom, non-politics)

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think there's anything intrinsically wrong with living at home your entire life. If you have a mutually satisfying relationship with your family, everyone contributes to the household in meaningful ways, and everyone is happy, I don't think that's anything to be mocked. Not everyone enjoys living alone? I just don't understand the societal obsession with independence.

Re: Controversial Opinions (Non-fandom, non-politics)

[(Anonymous)]

I completely agree. I also think a lot of people just can't fathom it due to the nature of their relationship with their parents.

I'm in my thirties and choose to live with my father. We're best friends, and the city we live in is expensive, so it works out great. However, I could never live with my mother as an adult. She doesn't respect my autonomy. She doesn't truly respect me as my own adult person. As long as I'm not under her roof she treats me like an adult, but as soon as I'm under her roof, she reverts.

So I guess people judge, because they assume living with your parent(s) means you accept being treated like a child, or maybe even welcome it.

I think a lot of people assume that if you live at home your parents baby you. They assume you're not doing all the usual adult stuff for yourself and that you're probably immature. Because most people don't have the kind of relationship with their parents where they're adults living side by side.

(Not that I agree with judging people even if their parent does treat them like a child. People have their reasons for living with their folks, even when it's not ideal. It's their business, IMO.)

Re: Controversial Opinions (Non-fandom, non-politics)

[(Anonymous)]

I agree.

However, I think it's worth examining whether or not they're using "living at home" as an excuse to not start their own lives.

On the other hand, whether or not that's the case, it's neither my life nor my business, and if the rest of the household doesn't have a problem with it, I guess I shouldn't either.

Re: Controversial Opinions (Non-fandom, non-politics)

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like a chunk of it has to do with various societies and their various ways of legally keeping property within a family, combining property, and who gets what when an heir marries. there are some things to be said for cultural and religious definitions of when children leave a unit to form their own unit and so forth, but even those social constructs set aside, there's always been a lot of legal muck about property and family. it's only fairly recently that we've realized that once the legal bits are changed or abolished, all that's left is the social construct, but if there's no background reason for it why are we keeping it? we'll get there. society just has to get over the concept that they can make each other feel guilty over stupid social constructs - once we generally can't feel guilt about doing something unexpected, and the ones trying to make us feel guilt realize there's no reason to do so, it'll fall away.

I mean, in theory I don't disagree but I also would not really hang out with my family members if we weren't related, and my partner has the shittiest family that she had to run far and fast from, so I don't have the direct personal empathy to back you up. I don't grasp how families can come out of the child-rearing phase still liking each other and having satisfying relationships because ime I've never actually seen someone with a healthy family relationship. I assume they do sometimes happen.

Re: Controversial Opinions (Non-fandom, non-politics)

[greghousesgf]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you're happy with it but why call living with your parents "living at home"? Doesn't everybody live at home except homeless people?

Re: Controversial Opinions (Non-fandom, non-politics)

[(Anonymous)]

I was just about to comment this to the main thread! It annoys the hell out of me, and I find it...disrespectful maybe isn't quite the right word, but it's the closest one I can think of. I'm a grown ass adult, I have my own home, my parents' home is not my home anymore. It's just...my parents' home.

(Along kind of similar lines, it also bugs me when people say "homes and apartments" when they mean "single family houses and apartments". Are people who live in apartments therefore homeless since they're not homes? I know it sounds dumb, but it bugs me.)

Re: Controversial Opinions (Non-fandom, non-politics)

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's just a figure of speech for some people. I mean, it might indicate an underlying attachment to the place they were raised (which I think is perfectly fine). But it's also just how some people refer to their childhood home. Once a home, always a home, for some people. I suspect that people whose parents move after they stop living with them are less likely to refer to visiting their parents as "going back home," and people whose parents move to entirely new cities are probably even less likely to use that phrase.