fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #713 ]

[ SECRET POST #713 ]

⌈ Secret Post #713 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

[X/1999]

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102.

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103.

[NEWS, Koyama]

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104.

[Ojiichan wa Shounen Tantei]

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105. [repeat]

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106.

[Stephen King's IT]

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107. [repeat]

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108. [repeat]

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109. [repeat]

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110.

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111.

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112.

[LJ, Fanfiction.net, y!gallery, devart]

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113.

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114.

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115.

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116.

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117.

[FFXII]

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118.

[Goof Troop]

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119.

[Toradora!]

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120.

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121.

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122.

[Heroes/The 4400]

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123.

[The Submarines]

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124.

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125.

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126.

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127.

[Merlin]

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128.

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129.

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130.

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131.

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132.

[jesse lacey (brand new); chris conley (saves the day); andrew mcmahon (jack's mannequin/something corporate); max bemis (say/anything); anthony green (circa survive); craig owens (chiodos/cinematic sunrise)]

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133.

[father of the pride]

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134.

[Kuroshitsuji]

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135.

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136.

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137.

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138.

[Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Dr Who, Pirates of the Caribbean]

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139.

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140.

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141.

[Schindler's List]

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142.

[Metal Gear Solid]

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143.

[Prince of Tennis]

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144.

[John Oliver]

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145.

[Crossing Jordan]

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146.

[madeline]

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147.

[Gunnerkrigg Court]

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148.

[FFVII Crisis Core]

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149.

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150.

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151.

[Dr Who]

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152.

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153.

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154. [repeat]

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155.

[Emberverse]

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156.

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157.

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158.

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159.

[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]

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160.

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161.

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162.

[Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory]

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163.

[World of Warcraft]

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164.

[Hey Arnold]

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165.

[Kamen Rider Kiva / Dexter]

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166.

[Monk]

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167.

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168.

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169.

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170.

[Meat Loaf]

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171.

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172.

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173.

[Video Girl Ai]

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174.

[Ferris Bueller's Day Off]

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175.

[Voice actors (Chris Patton, Crispin Freeman, Yuri Lowenthal, Johnny Yong Bosch, Jeff Nimoy, Travis Willingham, Quinton Flynn, Kyle Hebert, Jamie McGonnigal)]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #102.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I think it has to be roughly equal. A couple crushes or sexual encounters does not a bisexual person make. I think bisexuality is as much a pattern as homosexual and heterosexuality, and as with all things you're going to have some outliers, but that doesn't change the overall pattern.

So... I'm not allowed to have a sexuality until I've had sex, then?

A couple crushes or sexual encounters does not a bisexual person make.

I know quite a few "bisexual" girls who have had a few crushes and few sexual encounters, but are only are involved in relationships with men time after time after time. I think what

paperclipchains is trying to say is that true bisexuals give either gender the same chance and are involved with both.

Way to totally disregard the fact that the dating pool for women is about ten times smaller than it is for men. In an ideal world, maybe they'd be having totally balanced relationships with both genders, but there's still a huge societal bias towards heterosexuality.

What it comes down to: They're sexually attracted to and have had sexual encounters with people of both genders, and identify as bisexual? They're pretty goddamn bisexual. How you want to define them on the basis of their relationship history is irrelevant.

Such a good point.

You missed the point--I'm talking about bisexual girls who have had the opportunity to date both sexes and only go for the male half, because it is more comfortable/accepted/or maybe they're not really, truly bisexual.

Then again, I come from a high school where bisexuality is as much of a fad as leggings. Girls like girls in order to appear edgy or cool yet when faced with the opportunity, they completely freak out.

Why are we only talking about girls, though?

Re: bisexuality

bwhahahabeck.livejournal.com - 2008-12-19 02:40 (UTC) - Expand

So I have to keep count of who I'm attracted to, to make sure I don't have too many of either gender? Somehow that seems a bit strange.

What about those of us who haven't been involved in any relationships? I don't fall in love easily, and I've had some bad luck in that area. All I have to go on is who I feel attracted to. Isn't that enough?

I think what

paperclipchains is trying to say is that true bisexuals give either gender (roughly) the same chance ~~and are involved with both~~.

And no, I am not expecting bisexuals to keep a count in order to make sure everything is equal. That is ridiculous. I just don't want it to be treated as a fad or taken too lightly. It's so easy to consider yourself bisexual nowadays with no thoughts attached. As I said before - Then again, I come from a high school where bisexuality is as much of a fad as leggings. Girls like girls in order to appear edgy or cool yet when faced with the opportunity, they completely freak out..

I'm actually referring to my high school experience in which a lot of bisexuals only consider members of the opposite sex. In one case, my friend said she was bisexual. However, she showed no interest in girls outside of celebrity status and dated primarily men. Go figure that she recently came out as completely straight.

So, I guess I disagree with the secret. I think David Anders is hot, but I'm a lesbian. I'm primarily attracted to women as heterosexuals are primarily attracted to members of the opposite sex and bisexuals are primarily attracted to both sexes.

Re: bisexuality

lanjelin.livejournal.com - 2008-12-20 12:40 (UTC) - Expand

I never suggested that? I said that what you call your sexuality depends on patterns of behaviour and attraction.

I probably misunderstood, then. I'm a pretty simple person, sexuality-wise; I've been attracted to both men and women, and I thought that was pretty much what bisexuality entailed.

Hate to stick my nose into someone else's discussion, but I have to disagree with your belief that to be bisexual your attraction to men and women must be roughly equal. I am bisexual and I would say that I am attracted to men 75% and women 25%. I couldn't tell you if I just have higher standards for women or what, but that's how things are for me. It also seems to be pretty common with my bisexual friends as well, so the idea of it being an outlier seems off to me. I've dated and had sex with both genders, I can't say that I have a preference for one or the other, but I find myself attracted to women less frequently. No just one or two though. I'm consistently attracted to women of my "type" and even though it is less often than I'm attracted to men I am still bisexual.

There seem to be a lot of misconceptions, prejudices, and general dislike of bisexuality [I'm not saying you're prejudiced or anything] and I like to give my side of the story so people have more info to work with.

If it's an outlier then it wouldn't tally up to 25/75 at all though, would it?

I'm sort of sticking my foot in my mouth here, but it's quite possible that I need to examine my misconceptions and learn to shut up about it until I do. Right now I'm approaching it from the perspective that many people who are still otherwise straight or gay have crushes or attraction to people of the "wrong" sex for them, but that's not enough to make a person bi because if it was, then everyone would be bi and we would have no use for the word. Does that make sense?

I might not be clear on what you're saying. I took it to mean that you thought bisexuals who are not equally attracted to men and women are outliers. After this clarification I'm thinking you meant the people with the odd exceptions and such are? I'm a bit confused. I sort of get what you mean, but not totally. I also don't think you were like... mean or prejudiced etc, just not expressing yourself the best. I have terminal foot-in-mouth issues myself.

I see what you mean how we could have not use for the word, but I guess I look at sexuality in a very complex and layered way. More so than most. This is the basis of my theory, and it might help you figure things out in your own mind. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale

I use a three part, seven point scale. You are anything from a 0 to a 6, in each category, like the kinsey scale. I'll use myself as an example.

asexuality 0 --|---- 6 hypersexuality [2]

heterosexuality 0 --|---- 6 homosexuality [2]

monogamous 0 -|----- 6 polyamorous [1]

It's still not perfect, but its better than some things.

I tend to be annoyed with both sides of the coin. The people who as they're bi after a single attraction to a fictional character with no other basis, and the people who won't admit that they possibly are even after a couple attractions. It's really subjective, so I usually just go with what people identify as, but its still so damn hard. *sigh*

Oh, I'm aware of the Kinsey scale and I agree with the basic premise (but will nitpick over methodology and statistics all day). What I did mean was that odd exceptions are... Like... I'm thinking about it like this:

The single point that is off the line doesn't change the pattern of the line.

Re: bisexuality

sinstralpride.livejournal.com - 2008-12-19 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

Jesus christ, that is the most offensive thing I've heard today. You really need to get educated about sexuality.

Where should I start, then?

...probably by talking to some actual gay/bisexual people once in a while.

Re: bisexuality

paperclipchains.livejournal.com - 2008-12-19 02:02 (UTC) - Expand

I like how you attack someone without even trying to see their point or talking to them about it. To me THAT is much more offensive than anything

paperclipchains said. There is this thing... its called "civil discourse." You might wanna look into it.

Edited 2008-12-19 02:45 (UTC)

Out of curiousity, would 40/60 count as roughly equal? Or 75/25? Where do you draw the line?

I guess they both would. I don't see what the purpose is in drawing a line or taking it only by percentages.

Well, if you include people who go for one gender 75 percent of the time, there are a hell of a lot more bisexuals in the world than if you only include in the label those who are nearly 50/50. On the other hand, if you define bisexuality as 95/5, then you pretty much rule that most of the world is bisexual and Het/Gay is actually rare.

When you have a spectrum it's pretty much necessary to draw an arbitrary percentile-based line somewhere, otherwise there aren't categories to describe what something is and no way of producing any kind of consensus.

Re: bisexality

paperclipchains.livejournal.com - 2008-12-19 02:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: bisexality

velvet-mace.livejournal.com - 2008-12-19 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

I still think you're over-simplifying. No, a couple crushes doesn't really indicate much. But how many sexual encounters do you think a person has to have to be bisexual? In my opinion, they don't have to have any.

Sexuality isn't just about sex, it's about desire. It's about what's going on with the body and the brain.

I know we aren't going to agree on this, but that's just my opinion on the issue.

You're right, I am over-simplifying and it does have to do what goes on with the body and the brain.

All that I mean to say is that being attracted to someone of the opposite sex on a rare occasion isn't enough to make you bisexual (such as all the "I'm a straight girl but I'd hit it" secrets).

I think it's a bit more accurate to describe a person who is rarely attracted to the same sex as primarily heterosexual rather than totally heterosexual. In the end, that argument is kind of about semantics, so I don't have a huge gripe with you there. Different people define things differently. There are so many variables that researches take into account when studying this: emotional, physical, mental, relationships, desires, background, etc, etc... It's hard to find a common denominator to 'define' something as varied and complex as sexuality.

However, the bisexual community (the organizations and most of the bisexuals I know) would most certainly disagree with your assumption that bisexuality is an equal desire (even roughly) for both sexes. It's actually much more common to find the scales tipped just a bit towards women or men.

But I'm sorry... I'm hammering this home over and over again. I suppose I'm a bit over-sensitive about it.

Re: bisexuality

paperclipchains.livejournal.com - 2008-12-19 02:30 (UTC) - Expand

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