fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5007 ]

[ SECRET POST #5007 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5007 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 52 secrets from Secret Submission Post #717.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

OP Did it ever occur to you that's it more fun to write men because they simply just do not have to deal with the shit women do? God it's fucking exhausting sometimes trying to live up to the ridiculous standards society has for us, or being made to feel bad because we've decided to ditch those standards. And while we don't spend every second of our days actively thinking about this, it's still omnipresent in our lives.

So when i'm indulging in my hobby and writing, most of the time I just want to write about characters who are untouched by those concerns.

It's possible to write women without giving them "shit" to "deal with".

+1 WTF even is this entire thread?

What. But if you're making something up you can literally just remove the sexism and societal baggage because that's what writing allows you to do. Like this comment only makes sense if all of your m/m stuff is steeped with societal homophobic issues in the narrative, because gay men still suffer from that irl so you gotta put that in every m/m fic right? Especially if it's anything period-based.

Every single moment of my day has pressure on in some regard. Have to wear heels and make up for the office. Have to be a perfect employee because i'm also a parent and get judged very differently from the men in my office. Get home have to be as good a mother as I can in the short amount of time I get. Do some exercise somewhere because my increased weight led to my sexist pig of a boss giving me less good assignments.

Basically, it may be possible but it's currently so far outside of my realm of experience that all I end up feeling is envy of my own characters.

I don’t live a man's life, and it's a case of the grass seems infinitely more green on the other side.

But if you're making something up you can literally just remove the sexism and societal baggage because that's what writing allows you to do.

That would not feel comfortable to me. I wouldn't enjoy it. It's cool that some people do that and enjoy it, but I don't. The fantasy of a sexism-free society isn't soothing to me because it almost always feels paper thin and false.

So instead, you just write only men and women are weak and unable to do anything ever but be support roles?

Nah. I write what ever the fuck I want. Most slash, with strong af supporting characters, including strong af supporting female characters.

And if you have a problem with that, go fuck yourself. :)

I think this comment is being interpreted too specifically as something about "sexism." Of course it's possible, and sometimes even realistic, to write a story where a woman doesn't face specific sexism. But at least for me, it's that the experience of existing as a woman is tiring and othering even in that absence of specific, identifiable sexism.

In society, as in stories, men are seen as the "default," and female traits exist in opposition to that default. That fact permeates womens' lives, and it permeates depictions of women onscreen and in writing-- no, not that they're all terribly written, but just that the awareness of gender itself is central to the concept of femaleness.

And although there are lots of people who truly "feel" gender in such a way that they would still have a gender if they lived on their own on a desert island, a lot of people don't. I'm a cis woman, but I don't "feel" female in any way that exists within me and doesn't depend on the society around me. In general, men who don't have strong feelings about gender, just... don't. They don't have to think about it, because they exist as the default gender. Women who don't have strong feelings about gender are in the position of being reminded about gender, in small ways that are just baked into the fabric of daily life, all the time.

Men, as a general rule, have the privilege of not having to think about gender in their daily lives. I enjoy borrowing that privilege when I write, and I enjoy empathizing with characters who possess it. It feels like expressing an aspect of myself that I don't always have the channels for in my daily life. And crucial to that is that the aspect in need of expression is not maleness. It's just "not-female-ness."

All of these are blanket statements not applicable to everyone, of course, and they intersect with race and sexuality in yet more ways that create more pockets of inaccuracy. But as for my own explanation for why, when I look at my AO3, slash vastly outpaces het or femslash-- yes, I'm pretty certain that this is the reason.

Is it a Good Reason? Would it be better, for me or for society or for the cause of un-centering men's viewpoints as the non-gendered default, if those of us who felt this way wrote about more women? Maybe! And to be honest, I do get excited when I find a story centring women that I feel as strong a pull to write about as I feel for my slash ship. I enjoy finding women that I want to spend time with. But honestly, out of all of the possible places I could pour my energy, ways I could improve myself or contribute to the world-- it's not a priority.

> Men, as a general rule, have the privilege of not having to think about gender in their daily lives.

Bitch, I'm a cis woman and I have never once thought about my gender all the time, only when it's brought up or is relevant. What the absolute fuck?

This. I'm concerned for a lot of the people in this thread because, uh, what kinds of people are they spending their time around that's making them feel that way?

I mean, yes, it depends on your experience and lifestyle, but I don't think it's impossible to imagine that anyone who spends time in, for instance, sports contexts or certain academic or professional fields is constantly aware of their own femaleness in a low-level way. It's not about "types of people." If you don't feel that way, great. But lots of people do. We're not ~suffering~ on a daily basis. We have nice lives, good friends and respectful partners. This isn't about cruel oppression or needing to escape terrible situations. It's literally just about wanting to write from the POV of a character who isn't female.

Okay, cool?

There's a word for that. It's something that starts with a P and rhymes with "scribblage." Weird that I can't think of it.

[ SECRET POST #5007 ]

Re: OP

Re: OP

Re: OP

Re: OP

Re: OP

DA

DA

Re: DA

Re: OP

DA

Re: DA

Re: DA

Re: DA

Re: DA

Re: DA

Re: DA

Re: DA

Re: OP