fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #720 ]

⌈ Secret Post #720 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

[Morning Musume]

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102.

[Anastasia]

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103.

[Johnathan Larson]

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104.

[Hana Yori Dango / Twilight]

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105.

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106.

[Johnny Yong Bosch, Vic whatever]

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107.

[X-Men Origins, Gambit]

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108.

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109.

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110.

[Life]

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111.

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112.

[AFK FOREVER]

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113.

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114.

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115.

[Linebarrels of Iron/Kurogane no Linebarrels]

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116.

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117.

[Hellsing]

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118.

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119.

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120.

[Gurren Lagann]

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121.

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122.

[Britannia High]

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123.

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124.

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125.

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126.

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127.

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128.

[The Christmas Toy]

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129.

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130.

[MST3K, Joel Hodgson]

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131.

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132.

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133.

[Persona 4]

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134.

[Naruto]

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135.

[Ansem Retort]

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136.

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137.

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138.

[Transformers G1]

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139.

[Persona 4]

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140.

[TWilight]

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141.

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142.

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143.

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144.

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145.

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146.

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147.

[Lost]

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148.

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149.

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150.

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151.

[Misha Collins]

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152.

[Ranma 1/2]

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153.

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154.

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155.

[Torchwood]

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156.

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157. [removed]

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158.

[The Divine Comedy / Devil May Cry]

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159.

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160.

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161.

[Supernatural]

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162.

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163.

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164.

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165.

[Supernatural]

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166.

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167.

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168.

[6Teen; Jude]

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169.

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170.

[Phantom of the Opera]

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171.

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172.

[Lipstick Jungle]

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173.

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174.

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175.

Notes:

Early 'cause Christmas stuff to do!

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 086 secrets from Secret Submission Post #103.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

112, I hear you. There are no judgments here about whether you're being serious or whether it's symbolic or whether you're a troll. Whether I as a single person am wrong about you or right about you doesn't matter to me. What others might say about this comment doesn't matter to me. All that matters to me is your life.

Your life matters. Really.

There are places you can go and people you can call to help you go one more day.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

1-800-273-TALK

I have always found http://www.save.org to be a very remarkable site.

If you need more comment anonymously and I will bring you more. Never a judgment. Ever.

Not the OP but thank you. ♥

You're awesome. :)

It would be amazing if more people were caring like you are, instead of making jokes about suicide. I hope people follow your example of being such an kind, caring person.

Cheers.

I think a lot of people are caring here. In fact, I'll bet that almost everyone who saw that secret had the same heart-seizing moment of panic as I did. It's just that there are some who think it'll be fun to play Russian roulette with someone else's life. Usually those people have low enough self-esteem that they have to put someone down to build themselves up. Although how far it builds you up to put down someone at the lowest point in their life seems underwhelming to me. But they talk, and the ones who feel scared and overwhelmed and helpless to confront such a thing don't because they don't think it will make a difference. But it really, really does.

I will just say this from first- and second-hand experience and from endless numbers of people I have worked for and with: Threats of suicide should always, always, 100 percent of the time be treated seriously.

Yes, often they are not followed through on, yes, they are often cries for attention or help, but when someone resorts to a threat of suicide to get attention, they're not mentally healthy. Mentally healthy people don't manipulate others' emotions. And that means they need help, they need to know someone is listening and caring. It's the only way they're ever going to know that there's another way to live.

Tl;dr, I know. But I just want to thank you so, so much for replying to this. The OP needs to know it's not just me and my pedantic, too-long posts; it's lots of people, it's the fandom community at large, throwing away ship wars and wank and all of those petty things to say your life is the most important thing. WE ALL WANT YOU TO LIVE.

I think i just tl;dr'd my tl;dr.. so... bye.

Mentally healthy people don't manipulate others' emotions. And that means they need help, they need to know someone is listening and caring

Here's the thing. There is a certain type of person--sometimes it's a narcissist, sometimes its a sociopath, sometimes it's something else--who makes this kind of claim that aren't making a cry for help. It's manipulation for manipulation's sake. And once you've been taken for that ride enough times, you start to notice little "tells" that give away the manipulation.

I say this having myself made a couple of "cry for help" attempts. I wasn't trying to manipulate people's feelings; I was waving my arms while drowning, if you can follow that.

But the type that do it--not as a desperate SOMEONE HELP ME gesture, but simply because they like the attention--I have nothing but disgust for. Loathing even. How many times did I jump up and drive to the ER, did I do the hours long talking-down so I could take the knife, did I hold someone down while that person tried to harm herself. Never because she was in such dire psychological need. Because she liked that my entire life revolved around keeping her alive. Period. When she was crying and screaming in her so-called anguish, she was smiling.

I'm not the only one. My husband had this ex-girlfriend too. And it's all the same story. It isn't a cry for help. It isn't an attempt. It isn't even a troll--because a troll just wants to giggle and say oh look, they're all upset now!. No.

So I say, to the poster of that deliberately cryptic, carefully over-the-top message? Fuck you. And to the boyfriend/girlfriend/bestfriend who that person, I would bet damn near anything, is on 24/7 EMERGENCY ALERT STATUS: There is help for you too. You don't have to stay. S/he won't die if you leave--s/he'll just try to make YOU want to die. It's better on the other side.

So what, though?

If they like the attention and you give it to them, what does that hurt you?

In real life behavior like that can really ruin you. Here it doesn't. It's just a stranger and maybe that stranger's a narcissist and maybe he/she is not. Is it any skin off your nose to just leave it alone?

I just don't understand why you'd curse out a stranger when there's a chance, however slight, that you'd do real harm. What does it accomplish other than making you feel better? It's not your job to teach that narcissist his place. That narcissist will go on and do the same things elsewhere with or without you.

I would hope you'd simply ignore the person you suspect is an attention troll, and don't begrudge those who want to help their gullibility.

But that's just me. I'm sorry you went through shit, man. It's tough.

Agreed.

Also? You word things amazingly. I wish I could have said this, but it wouldn't have come out anywhere near as well-said...

If they like the attention and you give it to them, what does that hurt you?

You can only donate so much blood before you bleed to death, dude. Here? Oh, sure, it doesn't mean shit-all. But the people posting here? Exist outside of the web. The message wasn't particularly for the poster, but for whatever poor, well-meaning sap s/he is sucking the life out of. Nobody's ever concerned for that person.

That's the skin off my nose.

I hear you now.

Yes, yes, yes, the people in the OP's life need support and help -- probably professional -- to deal with the person whose illness is disrupting their life. (sorry about the clinical verbiage; I'm trying to cover as many situations as I can in these words.) It's vitally important that they know how to take care of their own mental health and well-being. Just because someone is suffering around you, that doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself and draw the line when you need to. Your life is just as important.

I don't think your post and mine are incompatible. They both need to be there. We just both come at the situation from our own personal experience and that's human nature. THANK YOU for adding what was a glaring omission in my original response.

:hands you a band-aid for your poor skinless nose.:

Wow.

Well, thank you.

you were expecting maybe a snark fit? :grin: This stuff's too important to be petty about, I figure.

It's been nice chatting with you.

And also (after a moment or two to consider), its nice to run into someone this rational online!

Not tl;dr at ALL. I agree 100000% with every single thing you just said. :)

Threats of suicide should always, always, 100 percent of the time be treated seriously.

Especially this. I agree totally. It's scary but true.

Cheers to you....xoxxo

[ SECRET POST #720 ]

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