[ SECRET POST #5020 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5020 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.



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02.
[Pokemon]


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03.
[jessica kellgren-fozard (youtuber)]


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04.
[Avatar: The Last Airbender]


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05.
[Raised by Wolves]


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06.
[Xenoblade Chronicles 2]


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07.
[Princess Weiyoung]


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08.
[Hades]


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09.
[Cookie Run]


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10.
[Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 67 secrets from Secret Submission Post #719.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I like them together and I feel bad for him; sobriety can be tough. He has a disease. I hope they remain together. There are worse people out there in the world right now; I am not going to chastise him like a bitch.

[(Anonymous)]

>He has a disease

Yeah, this feels like chastising someone for having a mental illness. Except it is more socially acceptable to chastise and make fun of addicts.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

If someone has an UNTREATED mental illness (that is what an active addict is) and it has a profound effect on your children then you deserve to be chastened. And it always has a profound effect on your children. I speak from my own experience and experience of my friends who have dealt with an addicted parent. Fuck up your own life but don't screw up your child's lives.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know Kristen Bell's situation but I will say this:

* Someone can be suffering from a disease or mental health condition that is not their fault, but if they're not managing it well, it doesn't mean that you have to stay with them and allow your life to be negatively impacted by it. You can leave.

* There can be "worse people out there in the world", but that doesn't mean you have to stay in a relationship. There's no rule that says you can't break up with someone unless they're Satan. You can leave.

* You can love someone with all your heart and soul, but you can't force them to be sober. You cannot heal them with your love. And you're not a failure if you can't love them into sobriety. Sometimes, you'll need to do what's best for you, and any children involved, and that can mean leaving.

[(Anonymous)]

If this was Dax's first relapse, then there is no need for either Kristen or us to be incredibly harsh on him.

[(Anonymous)]

There's no rules that you have to put up with X number of relapses before you can leave a relationship with an addict. I'd also add - though OP put it very bluntly - divorce isn't a huge overreaction when your partner lies to you and puts your marriage and your children in danger. This isn't a small relationship boo-boo. It's nice so many people are concerned about Shepherd, but his kids are also extremely vulnerable and their needs should come first.

[(Anonymous)]

Not his first relapse, and he's been addicted to alcohol and cocaine previously, so painkillers aren't his first addiction, either.

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/how-kristen-bell-helped-dax-shepard-with-his-relapse.html/

[(Anonymous)]

There's often no relationship left to salvage after someone betrays your trust in such a huge way.
I personally wouldn't try to fix it. From experience, once the trust is gone, anything you try to rebuild after that falls apart.

[greghousesgf]

"You can love someone with all your heart and soul, but you can't force them to be sober. You cannot heal them with your love. And you're not a failure if you can't love them into sobriety. Sometimes, you'll need to do what's best for you"
it took me a really long time to learn this. It took me an even longer time to learn some recovering alcoholics are still assholes when they're sober. :(

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to hear that, but hope you're in a better place. There's a saying, "Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm" that I wish more people knew. I'm not knocking anyone's compassion or desire to help someone with an addiction, it's just... there are practical limits to how much you can help, and if you exceed those limits you'll only hurt yourself and the addict won't be helped at all. That sounds cold to a lot of people (including people in this thread) but I've known and loved addicts and this is a hard lesson to learn.

[greghousesgf]

I'm not in that abusive relationship anymore but I haven't had so much as one date in literally decades so whether that counts as a "better place" is pretty much up to interpretation....

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT--it does. Better to be single than in an abusive relationship.

[(Anonymous)]

Addiction is a disease. Using is a choice.

Using when you have kids is an incredibly shitty choice. Don't care if saying it makes me a bitch.

[(Anonymous)]

+10000

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think reasonable people will dispute that it's a shitty choice. People do have that "but it's a diseeeeeeeease!" drummed into their heads and that's true, up until a point. I'm not advocating we abuse people just because they're struggling with addiction. But I'm also not advocating for putting up with it forever, regardless of the emotional cost to yourself and your other loved ones.

[(Anonymous)]

As a child of an addict I agree 100%.

I hate when people excuse shitty junkie behavior because they have a disease. Yes addiction is a disease but choosing to not get treatment and use drugs is never OK or excusable.

[(Anonymous)]

This.