fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #721 ]

[ SECRET POST #721 ]

⌈ Secret Post #721 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

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102.

[Hiroshi Tamaki;Gackt;Tadayoshi Okura]

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103.

[Rumor Has It/Simon and Garfunkel]

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104.

[Chip 'n Dale]

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105.

[Sarah McLachlan, "World on Fire"]

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106.

[Phoenix Wright Justice for All]

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107.

[17 Kids and Counting; Jon and Kate plus 8]

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108.

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109.

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110.

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111.

[Persona 4]

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112.

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113.

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114.

[Smallville]

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115.

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116.

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117.

[Tiny Toons]

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118.

[Alicia Sacramone]

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119.

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120.

[House]

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121.

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122.

[Dungeons and Dragons; Mage the Ascension]

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123.

[Merlin]

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124.

[Noel & Michael Fielding; The Mighty Boosh]

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125.

[Watchmen, The Day The Earth Stood Still]

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126.

[Shawn Spencer from Psych]

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127.

[Merlin, Torchwood]

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128.

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129.

[House]

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130.

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131.

[Victoria Beckham/Posh Spice]

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132.

[Temeraire Series]

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133.

[Ace Attorney]

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134.

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135.

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136.

[Captain America/Iron man]

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137.

[Fullmetal Alchemist (Winry), Serenity (Kaylee), Final Fantasy X (Rikku), Atlantis (Audrey)]

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138.

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139.

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140.

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141.

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142.

[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]

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143.

[Digimon Tamers, Juri Kato]

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144.

[Torchwood, Dr. Horrible, Metal Gear Solid]

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145.

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146.

[Onani Master Kurosawa]

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147.

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148.

[Supernatural]

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149.

[Gossip Girl]

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150.

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151.

[Ferris Bueller's Day Off]

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152.

[Death Note: the Last Name]

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153.

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154.

[Gundam00]

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155.

[Robin Hood: Guy/Sheriff]

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156.

[bexless's MCR Priestverse (I Have Been All Things Unholy and Staring Through the Demons)]

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157.

[Digimon original series]

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158.

[In the Gloaming/Robert Sean Leonard]

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159.

[Candy Boy ONA]

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160.

[Soul Eater]

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161.

[Gurren Lagann]

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162.

[Sherlock Holmes/"Sherlock"]

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163.

[Supernatural]

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164.

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165.

[Genevieve Cortese, Wildfire, Supernatural]

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166.

[Mai HiME, Okuzaki Akira]

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167.

[Sweeny Todd movie]

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168.

[Sean Astin/Elijah Wood]

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169.

[Silent Hill: Homecoming]

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170.

[Trigun, Wolfwood]

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171.

[Moulin Rouge/Sound of Music]

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172.

[Avatar the Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist, Bleach, Naruto]

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173.

[Mock the Week; Frankie Boyle]

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174.

[Whose Line Is It Anyway?, QI]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #103.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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More irrational fury and still no good reason in sight.

There are seriously no selfless reasons for having your own children. It's all about the parent(s).

I don't condemn people who do it, of course (my sister had two babies and my niece is the coolest child in the world), but... there really is no good reason for not adopting.

EXCEPT THAT, AT LEAST IN THE US, IT'S GENERALLY $25k+ TO ADOPT KIDS.

And since when has having babies been free? Come on, some people even have to pay thousands to cover the birth and delivery alone if they don't have insurance(which covers very little).

Are you just a n00b to life? You must be if you think the US government in any way makes adoption easy or encourages it, especially for middle class or lower people. I can't speak for other countries' governments because I'm only familiar with the US--my parents have adopted 3 kids, myself included.

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

(Anonymous) - 2008-12-27 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

The cost of having and raising a baby isn't paid all up front. With adoption, that's a large chunk of change at one time, in ADDITION to the costs of raising the child if you're lucky that things go through.

Not what this (http://costs.adoption.com/) site says.

From that link: "$40,000 or more"

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

honeysuckle-raw.livejournal.com - 2008-12-27 18:38 (UTC) - Expand

I agree with with you and all your comments, seriously. People always tell me the reason they don't want to adopt is because "it costs money". Well damn, how do the expect to have baby and not plan on spending money?

The excuses get worse all the time. If you want a baby? Great. There are thousands who need a good home and parents. How could people not want to give an already existing child the chance of having a good life?

WELL, YES, AND THEY COULD BE SPENDING THE MONEY THEY SPENT ON ADOPTION ON THE CHILD'S FOOD AND UPBRINGING.

Yes.

There's kind of an anti-adoption sentiment in America, in my opinion. I think a lot of people feel "entitled" to their own babies, and that they don't want a "used" one. People like Angelina Jolie get snarked at. No, I don't think everything she does is right, but I hate that a lot of the disdain toward her is subliminally JUST because she chose to adopt so many babies.

OKAY? EXCEPT I DIDN'T SAY "NEVER EVER ADOPT BECAUSE OMG MONEY" - AND I'M ACTUALLY ALL FOR ADOPTION OVER HAVING BIO KIDS. WHOEVER YOU'RE GETTING THIS FROM IS A MORON THOUGH. 25 THOUSAND DOLLARS ISN'T EXACTLY POCKET CHANGE UNLESS YOU'RE FUCKING RICH. AND $25k'S STILL MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE COST OF HAVING A BABY, THOSE FIRST HOSPITAL BILLS INCLUDED, UNLESS THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE MOTHER OR BABY THAT REQUIRES ADDITIONAL CARE/HOSPITAL TIME. HOBVIOUSLY A CHILD IS GOING TO COST MONEY REGARDLESS OF WHERE IT COMES FROM. BUT YOU BASICALLY ARE PENALIZED FOR ADOPTING.

I agree with with you and all your comments, seriously. People always tell me the reason they don't want to adopt is because "it costs money". Well damn, how do the expect to have baby and not plan on spending money?

Well no shit Sherlock.

But most people don't have to sit down and pay 20K at once. You can't just waltz into and choose a child off the self, it takes years for some families. Not to mention all the limitations for even being considered. Really have you been through the adoption process that families have to go through? You can be shot down for the smallest of things.

Or 'ya know, here's a crazy idea--how about people just mind their own damn business?

If people wanna adopt fucking great, if they want their own kids fucking great. There's not right or wrong for any situation.

How could people not want to give an already existing child the chance of having a good life?

Because -shock, horror - some people actually want to have children of their own and experience pregnancy, maybe? It is not a crime and I seriously wish that stupid cunts would stop acting as though it is.

Someone wants to adopt? Great.
Someone wants to give birth to their own child? Great.
Is it your business? Fuck, no.

there really is no good reason for not adopting.

How about the fact that you need to have 21309287102 qualifications before an agency will LET you adopt? Some people would much rather adopt than have their own babies, but they can't because they don't meet the right standards.

Then that sucks for them and I wouldn't judge them. Like I said, I don't condemn people for having their own children. But I'm sure most people don't even bother to look into adoption and I think that blows.

Then adopt from the US foster system rather than through an agency

Here's my reason: some people don't want to, and it's their choice. There's also a special connection between parent and child that is often automatically formed when a child is birthed, and must be manually forged when a child is adopted, making it a much more difficult process that not everyone is prepared to deal with.

Also, if it went on for long enough, the entire population would die out. But hey, if everyone decides that they want to adopt, I'm all for it. Cool. It's a matter of choice.

I think if your choice for having babies comes down to "Well, it'll be EASIER emotionally to have my own," you probably shouldn't be having a child to begin with. It should be all about the baby, not about what's convenient for you.

Also, if it went on for long enough, the entire population would die out.

Of course this isn't even close to what I'm saying. I don't think adoption is better no matter what; I think it's better for NOW.

I would argue that it IS about the baby. It's going to bad for the child, too, if the parent can't connect. And it's been a big problem with the entire adoption system.

Yes, which is why I said "if it went on for long enough." It probably would be better if everyone adopted for now, but my point is that people shouldn't be looked down on for wanting their own kid. And, of course, you said that you don't condemn people for that, so I think we mostly agree.

I think if your choice for having babies comes down to "Well, it'll be EASIER emotionally to have my own," you probably shouldn't be having a child to begin with. It should be all about the baby, not about what's convenient for you.

I think it's more complicated than what's convenient or easier (seems like those words come up a lot regarding reproductive choice for some reason). Choosing to have or adopt a baby is an important emotional decision--and both decisions are slightly different and important. Most people I know who have adopted kids--multiple adopted kids who were sometimes hard to place--also have biological kids.

I can't speak from personal experience here but it is a difficult emotional one for people. Like I remember meeting a woman who couldn't have any children and people would always suggest adoption and it wasn't that she was against adoption or didn't consider it an option, but it wasn't a solution to what she was feeling about not being able to have any. She felt like it was often said as if they were saying, "Why don't you just buy one?"

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

honeysuckle-raw.livejournal.com - 2008-12-27 02:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

fm-gatekeeper.livejournal.com - 2008-12-27 02:36 (UTC) - Expand

Oh, that whole "a special connection . . . is often automatically formed when a child is birthed" is such a load of bullshit, and I usually hear that crap coming from people who don't know anyone who's adopted, know someone who was adopted and placed into a bad home, or haven't adopted a kid at all and thus know fuckall about what it means to adopt or be an adoptee and/or parent of an adopted child.

I'm saying this as an adoptee. My parents are my parents. My birthparents are more like, well, good friends. I don't have a parental or paternal/maternal bond-type thing with them because they didn't raise me. I'm closer to my parents than I am to my birthparents because they're my parents, and they're the ones who raised me. So, yeah, the whole "special connection" thing is a load of horse hockey.

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

fm-gatekeeper.livejournal.com - 2008-12-28 07:37 (UTC) - Expand

Right--people have children generally because they want to have a child for themselves (even if it requires sacrifice to raise a child). Same for adpoting most of the time--you want to have or adopt a baby because you want to be a parent. I remember somebody once arguing with me that having a child was some altrustic act, denying any selfish reasons at all. As if they created this baby as some big sacrifice to the world and not something they did because they wanted at all!

That said, I still think it's important that everybody has the right to have a baby because somebody else got their first and there's a kid out there already. It seems like an important choice to let people make for themselves.

I agree 110% with this comment.

Err--that sentence should read "I think it's important that everybody has a right to have a baby--they can't be expected to not have one because somebody else got there first..."

I think everyone should have a choice, too. But I also think that most people don't even consider adoption, like it's something you only do if you can't have your own, or if you're "weird" in some other way.

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