[ SECRET POST #5029 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5029 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #719.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice sought

[(Anonymous)]

A good amount is it's not over taking your life and dominating all your conversations. If it's interfering with the quality of your life and you aren't talking about anything else, there is a problem.

It could be context when speaking with your friends? If you bring up your problems when they bring up theirs and they need you to listen, they might feel talked over and invalidated. Or you are trying to "one up" them.

If you're bringing up your problems at a completely different time and they aren't responding. Then, your friendship might be one way.

You don't have to be silent. You can try to give validation and hope. "This is hard, you've done hard things before. I believe in you." "Your feelings are valid. There's no wrong way to feel about things." "Do you need someone to listen? Or do you need help?" "That sounds tough, what do you want to do about it from here?" "What is your ideal outcome? Giving up is an option. Let's talk through them." "It's not fun to feel this way. Is there something we can do together you enjoy?" "You're important. You're valid. I care about you."

None of these responses require sharing your experiences or feelings and still let you connect to your friend and give them support in their time of need. And if they're good friends, they'll give you support in yours. There are times where you need to sit on your anxiety and fear for the sake of your friends who are also going through difficult times. No one should be each other's emotional support guru 100% of the time.

Also, therapy. Therapy is designed for airing out of your emotions, coming to terms and creating coping mechanisms. You can't let go of the problem without knowing what it is.

Hope this helps.

Re: Advice sought

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you, this does help me a lot. :D I appreciate the example phrases too, because god knows sometimes I'm at a loss of what to say but without trying to dig into my own personal experiences, which are kinda like a lot and very little at the same time.

I think I'll be fine if I don't share my own experiences. It used to bother me at first, but I think some thoughts are better kept to myself as I try to process things first.