fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5057 ]

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Soooo... I have recently been sorely tempted to set up a ghost account and post stories from bygone eras that never made it to AO3. I am not the author of these stories, and if I ever did such a thing I would make that clear. It just makes me really sad that so much.awesome fic is vanishing into the past.

I haven't done this because deep down I know it's a really shitty thing to do. But by god I desperately want to.

Technically there is several accounts meant to upload fic that have been lost to time/dead sites.
So long as you upload them by regarding the original artist and have a note to said artist (as in if you know/are said person and wish for this not to be shared) then you're good. My first reference is generally the archivist via:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISF_Archivist/pseuds/ISF_Archivist

I'm not sure of the rules, but so long as you aren't calling them your own and you're sure about where you're taking from, you'll be good?

I get the impulse, but I'm pretty sure Ao3 doesn't allow archiving fic without either permission from the original authors, or permission to port over entire archives from the archive owner/master/administrator.

If "psychic vampires" exist, then I'm pretty sure I am one. It's easy enough to find info on how to avoid them and protect oneself from them, but I can't find anything on how to fix yourself if you are one. I don't want to be inherently toxic to everyone, but I've tried and I've tried and I cannot change my personality. I don't want to be lonely forever. I don't want to be someone people should stay away from. And I can't figure out how to not be. Not in the long term...I've learned to hide it for a while, but it's a huge strain and eventually explodes in everyone's face.

Well, to start off, what makes you think you are one?

Same, but I don't think psychic vampire is the exact definition of what we are. Like, I LOVE insignificant details, I will go on and on about things that are apparently boring, but I smile and parse my way through it. I've talked to a lot of people who were just as invested as me and I've convoluted conversations that made more than the belle of the ball just by basic interest. It's not a curse, but all the blessing, just so long as you learn to talk about everyone else... If that makes any sense...?

What traits do you believe makes you a psychic vampire and why don't you think you can change?

I have sometimes had similar thoughts. For me it's that I just seem to drain energy from the room, or from people i'm talking to.

I have struck on two things which seem to help.
1) I realised I was quite an inherently negative person. I now try to be more positive or at least learn to recognise when people need me to not be negative.
2) I'm focusing more on putting energy into my own life and interests instead of focusing it on other people. Weirdly it seems to work. I think people are a bit like gardening - we like to be around the people who have grown themselves with care and attention lol.

I'll second this- 100%. (The part two that is.) With an aide on the gardening, just that- those who put the effort in themselves add a lot more to whom they're wording towards. If only as a primal basis.

This may or may not apply to your situation, and feel free to ignore if it doesn't. IME, low self esteem can often be a contributing factor to not thinking about how your actions may affect others. I've been in headspaces before (during really shitty parts of my life) where I genuinely wasn't thinking about how my behavior made others feel, because I felt like nothing I did mattered, so it would surprise me when it ended up that thoughtless stuff I was doing *did* upset people.

It might feel counterintuitive, but providing for yourself emotionally as much as possible and learning to treat yourself kindly could be a really big help in having healthier interactions with others. Having unmet needs and going into new relationships with an unconscious hope that the other person satisfies them while also thinking of yourself as a shitty person who can't improve is a setup for disaster. Again, not sure if any of this applies, totally feel free to ignore it if it's way off, best of luck either way.

I think my wife and I are both in love with another person. The same person, in fact. And I think they might be in love with us too.

I know it's best to leave it to fantasy, but I do wonder what would happen if I broached the topic of us becoming a throuple.

You will most likely lose your wife.

NAYRT - This is a really negative taken considering you don't know OP, OP's wife, or this third person. I would absolutely advise OP to tread very carefully, but your response just seems like the response of someone who has issues with anything other than paired monogamy.

The second you broach this, your relationship is dead unless their wife is 100% on board.

nayrt
That may be only canon in your mind.

Take it up with your wife first. Just as a joke, just as a jab. Play drunk as fuck and offer the opportunity of bringing someone else into bed with you. That's the first test. (non leading, no names, just an offer- if everything goes okay, take it a bit further)
Then (if you get the all clear from your significant other) invite the said other around as you would. Play an number of drinking games, both with you and majority towards your SO. If only to check the basis of who wants who.

If things check out- breach the subject with your SO, if they'd be interested in a plus one, then deal in.

Play the drinking games, or a variant of such with the hack that alcohol played you all, if need be. Otherwise, you're good to go.

Mostly everyone thinks my face is unattractive. I can't change it to make it somewhat better in any way because I have no money. I am not attracted to unattractive men, so I just don't date. I'm incredibly unhappy and no one cares, nor do they want to help me. I've been alone for a long time and I don't see my life getting any better. It's made me suicidal at times. Therapy didn't help much in the past.

Honesty, I'd rec a different psychiatrist if you are at all available for any availability. Surgery is not the option, should never be the -go to- in anyplace... it's understandable in it's own right, but it's not the decision of which you should latch on too.

AYRT
I literally look odd due to birth circumstances. My parents didn't have any money to do what the surgeons wanted to do. They fixed my teeth under their health insurance and fixed my nasal deformity as best as they could via a medical clinic charity fund. I resigned myself to just pretending I was pretty for the rest of my life, ignore anyone that said I was unattractive and that was my defense mechanism. It stopped working ages ago. I don't have any money for anything I'd want to do. My teeth have shifted again and now I have a big space between them, which makes me look worse. My nasal deformity has returned somewhat, although not as bad as it originally was. Someone I thought was one of my close friends began telling me that I was homely and unattractive and needed to be told and that no one wanted to tell me that, and that I ought to just take whatever I could get- like a date for coffee- with whatever unattractive man I could get and just make the best of it. Even my own parents and cousins have called me ugly behind my back (I overheard them).
So yeah, tl;dr, I do need surgeries. I need another nose job, braces again, I need palate expanders, need to fix my jaw, and need to put in a bigger cheekbone and jawbone because I wasn't born with enough.

Attractiveness isn't just a quirk any one of a thousand views could easily pick up on. There isn't one face, one view, that attractiveness could be defined upon. It's none of the above. Only a split second opinion that allows the interpretation.

+1, it probably sounds cheesy to OP (I sympathize with their feelings a lot) but these were my thoughts too. Attraction is a really personal thing and not everyone will feel the same about it.

Again, OP, I know this probably isn't reassuring to hear from a stranger while you're dealing with feeling so badly about your appearance and having shitty experiences related to that. That sounds really rough. I hope stuff can improve for you soon. <3

Re: Confessions thread

(Anonymous) - 2020-11-11 05:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Confessions thread

(Anonymous) - 2020-11-11 07:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Confessions thread

(Anonymous) - 2020-11-11 22:41 (UTC) - Expand

AYRT
I literally look odd due to birth circumstances. My parents didn't have any money to do what the surgeons wanted to do. They fixed my teeth under their health insurance and fixed my nasal deformity as best as they could via a medical clinic charity fund. I resigned myself to just pretending I was pretty for the rest of my life, ignore anyone that said I was unattractive and that was my defense mechanism. It stopped working ages ago. I don't have any money for anything I'd want to do. My teeth have shifted again and now I have a big space between them, which makes me look worse. My nasal deformity has returned somewhat, although not as bad as it originally was. Someone I thought was one of my close friends began telling me that I was homely and unattractive and needed to be told and that no one wanted to tell me that, and that I ought to just take whatever I could get- like a date for coffee- with whatever unattractive man I could get and just make the best of it. Even my own parents and cousins have called me ugly behind my back (I overheard them).
So yeah, tl;dr, I do need surgeries. I need another nose job, braces again, I need palate expanders, need to fix my jaw, and need to put in a bigger cheekbone and jawbone because I wasn't born with enough.

This is my first time back on the internet for over a week--I had no spoons to deal with the US election so I avoided everything and at this point I don't know what actually happened and what is just jokes or wild rumours?

Biden narrowly won over Trump. Trump stuck to his strategy of refusing to accept the result because the only way he could have lost is if Biden somehow cheated.

Trump is exercising his right to a recount in the states he narrowly lost in. All the experts believe a recount will not change the result of the election.

Trump also announced on Twitter that he'd be holding a press conference at the Four Seasons hotel only to find out that his lawyer accidentally booked the car park outside a landscaping business also named Four Seasons.

Any talk of Biden hiding votes, or destroying votes, or creating fake votes is all rumours started by Trump in a desperate attemp to still come out the winner. Pretty much everything else is stuff that Trump and his team are actually doing. No one could make up better jokes/memes than they are doing to themselves.