[ SECRET POST #5105 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5105 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 33 secrets from Secret Submission Post #731.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

(Cozy Werewolf Anon)

Caitlin Doughty (aka Ask A Mortician) Did an entire 3 part series about Disney world and death. Like, people dump ashes in the Haunted Mansion a LOT. I think Disney's protocol for it is covered in the third video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L6eSZgKLZ0

I guess someone dumped Ashes in "It's A Small World" too.

People's relationship with and what happens to their bodies after death is really kind of fascinating. No idea what I want. Maybe I could fertilize a nice tree or something. Be useful.

[(Anonymous)]

OMG I was about to post her videos! I love her so much!

[sparklywalls]

I love Caitlin Doughty but hadn't seen that video before, really interesting!

I don't care how much I love a place, I just can't imagine requesting my remains be disposed of in that way. I don't want to be cremated anyway, I think I like the idea of an eco-burial more and going back to nature with a tree planted above me or something.

I know technically your ashes getting vacuumed up by a Disney employee and sent to a landfill is also going back to nature (of sorts) but I just don't think that's nice for your surviving family and friends. I'd rather think of my place of burial having a nice bench for folk to sit on than allowing my remains to take the Haunted Mansion offline, ruining everyone's fun, for an entire day.

[(Anonymous)]

Haha, well Charles Manson's ashes ended up scattered all over the funeral guests when a strong wind took hold of them. (At least according to Caitlyn.)

[sparklywalls]

Ooh nooooo! See, this is why I take my hat off to the determination of people who hire a boat and scattered ashes in the middle of a loch or something. It can be fair windy in many parts of the Highlands! I just have comical visions of your Uncle Pete ending up blown back into the hood of your coat...

[(Anonymous)]

My parents scattered my grandfather's ashes in the Highlands (where he was from) and they had to get back in the car and go all the way down to a bridge and across to the other side of the river to stop this happening!

[(Anonymous)]

I've been part of a ceremony where this happened as well. It was distressing, but I sort of thought my late friend would have had a laugh about it so I took it as a last touch of their sense of humor.

[(Anonymous)]

I think a lot of people are flat out not thinking of the logistics (or legality or expense) when they say things like "Scatter my ashes at X" or whatever. (I also don't think they're always being entirely serious but for lack of a real death plan people choose to take the request seriously because it's all they have to work with.)

It's like when people say "Oh, just throw me in a hole!" Okay, but if you literally want to be buried in a hole, your next of kin are probably going to have to buy a cemetery plot and meet the requirements of the cemetery and whatnot, because for a variety of reasons they probably can't just go dig a hole and dump you wherever. If what you mean is that you don't care what happens to your body and you don't want people going to a lot of trouble or expense, then fine, but maybe actually say that instead of acting like getting put in a hole is no big deal (or like getting tossed out with the trash is a remotely viable option).

[sparklywalls]

You're definitely right anon. I think in certain countries (such as the UK and USA) we're so generally squeamish about death that nobody likes to confront and talk about what they would like to happen to their body. I think it's getting a little better but we're still a way off the acceptance of e.g. the Victorians to the point it was woven into daily life almost.

I'm not suggesting we go all the way back there obviously! But there's got to be a balance between excessively morbid fixation and just virtually ignoring it won't be something your family some day faces. "Toss me in a hole" comes across as a manifestation of not wanting to talk about it sometimes. Although I also accept some folk perhaps genuinely don't care what happens to them.

[(Anonymous)]

Or if you DO want a natural burial a la "throw me in a hole", that requires a lot of planning and forethought because there aren't a lot of natural-burial cemeteries around and there are a lot of rules about transportation and storage of human remains in the meantime...basically, yeah, if you don't want your loved ones to have to worry about you after death, you're going to have to spend sometime worrying about it yourself now so they won't have to.

[(Anonymous)]

I wish it was legal to get buried in your yard, but it's not. Even keeping an urn with cremated remains in your home is illegal where I live.

I don't know why the dead have to be physically separated from their family.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, a few reasons spring to mind. Fear of disease. Fear of stuff being dug up by animals. Fear of people covering up murders, 'No, that's a legitimate backyard burial, officer, got the paperwork and everything'. Religiously speaking, your backyard is rarely hallowed ground, so maybe risk of stuff going walking. Several things over the years.

If you really want to be close to your dead, you could try buying a house in/beside a graveyard?

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT but cremains carry zero risk of disease, at least if the cremation is done by professionals in a crematorium.

[(Anonymous)]

Really? I have my parents and two of my deceased dogs' ashes in urns in a bookcase.

It's kind of comforting. I'm an only child and I move a lot, so if I bury my parents somewhere I probably won't be able to visit much. They'll end up in a crematorium vault with me when I eventually kick it.

[(Anonymous)]

Ayrt said "where they live", it's illegal. Laws are different in different places.

[(Anonymous)]

In my state it's legal to bury people on private property but only if its not against local zoning/ordinances (so that's pretty much a guaranteed "no" in any city/village) and I think there's rules about how close you can get to a property line or water. I think it's really only a viable option if you own a farm or other decent-sized rural property.

My state also has strong burial site protection laws and it's actually a good thing that you don't have to worry about a previous homeowner having turned your small, urban backyard into a cemetery. That would be a huge mess if you ever tried to do any kind of maintenance or remodelling that involved digging in the yard.

Surprising about not even being able to keep an urn, though. I've never heard of that.

[(Anonymous)]

That's really harsh that you can't keep the ashes.

[(Anonymous)]

In Oregon I think it's legal to be composted; I'm hoping it's legal in California by the time I die.

I'm in my late 30s without relatives my age or younger or kids, so if I could just be used to fertilize a municipal rose garden (I feel like people would be a bit squeamish about human compost going into veggie gardens) or something that would be less wasteful than cremation and unless my life changes drastically in the next few years no one is gonna care what happens to my corpse.

[(Anonymous)]

I immediately thought of her video when I saw this secret!

I think it was in the comments of that video that people shared stories of times ashes had been deposited in various (non-Disney) indoor places, like a favorite yarn store and I just think, "You put that on the floor where everyone can see it and it will just sit there until someone sweeps it up. What did you think was going to happen here?"

If you scatter someone's ashes out in nature, at least they can be incorporated into nature (cremated remains are the inorganic parts left after the organic bits burn away and therefore cannot fertilize a tree or anything, but at least they can become part of the inorganic component of the soil). If you spread a loved one's ashes on a floor, they cannot become part of the building in death because their remains are just sitting on the floor...