fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5203 ]

[ SECRET POST #5203 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5203 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 37 secrets from Secret Submission Post #745.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Had some discounted chocolate hot cross buns earlier and that was the highlight of my day.

Life in bad shape. Had an argument with someone I love. My ill health is destroying everything. If it weren't for my responsibilities, tonight would have been the night I took an overdose.

*hugs*

:( I'm sorry.

Would it help to talk about it more? Or would that leave you feeling more drained? I'm sorry this is happening to you.

My Easter plans unexpectedly involved lying in a dark room clutching my head, in addition to the usual clutching of my stomach. :/

Got through virtual church service anyway, and I think the instant coffee (not even mixed into water, just a spoon full of the powder; I can't afford migraine meds so ODing on caffeine is how I self-medicate) I swallowed down started to kick in a couple hours later so I made myself go take a walk in this gorgeous sunny weather no matter how painful it was.

Saw some pretty flowers along the way and got a shiny flower crown Chansey already, so Pokemon Go is at least being nice to me.

Was okay this morning. But a migraine started around noon. It is a pretty bad one. But we had agreed to marathon the Mandalorian today. Mom is really excited about it. So dad basically pressured me to stay around because mom hasn't been feeling that well recently. All I really want is sleep. And dad is doing work and keeps procrastinating, so we're watching judge Judy instead, and her voice is so grating right now, I just want to throw things at the screen.

Sorry. Just. How is it not obvious that I'm having one of the bad migraines with the mood-affecting and other side effects and really want to be alone? I'm not doing a great job of faking it.

I drove home and got my new chair put together. I am so exhausted.

Trying to learn more about being an open person. I always wanted some of those relationships people have with their friends but never nailed it. And yesterday I learned I could have Asperger's, which, cool.
I can look at people and have short conversations, I know when to hold my tongue, but deeper relationships have mostly been a loss to me. The internet has helped immensely, especially without the pressure to talk every day.

It's such a wide spectrum.

I'm having another shingles outbreak. :C

It's not all bad, though! Easter candy goes on sale tomorrow and if all goes according to plan, I should be getting my medical marijuana card this week. :D

I’m having some much needed downtime. I feel lazy and drifty and so so glad I don’t have to go back to work for another few days. When I’m not sleeping, I’m sleepily brainstorming fandom crossover parody songs.

The bad: I had to work (actually I am still working)

The good: I made a chicken gumbo and I haven't tried it yet but it seems like it came out pretty good so that's positive

As always, doing slower than I'd like but at least managing to keep my head just above the water. Just barely. Small victories.

Tired. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow or do any of the things I have to before my work week starts. I could call in tomorrow since I got my second COVID shot yesterday (yay!) and I already talked to my boss about maybe needing the day off, but I'm not feverish or anything, just exhausted.

My coworker casually handed me ten still wrapped but completed melted Hershey chocolate bars and we just couldn't stop laughing over it. (Yeah, it was a slow day today at work. Lol.)

Having some whisky tea now while writing bizarro cyberpunk erotica.

Welp. Was doing okay. Then reminded yet again that I don't have friends. Yay.

And of course, coming fast on the end of a 4 day weekend, which is never long enough because I can't do shit or go anywhere until I'm eligible for the vaccine (and even then, a minimum of five to six weeks before it might be okay for me to go anywhere... and even then, I don't trust people to NOT be fucking stupid).

I dread coming back to work this week. First I dropped the ball on something that shouldn't have been in my court in the first place, but of course, stupid me took it and got distracted and forgot about shit so now it's been close to a year since this simple thing should have been resolved and I'm the one who fucked it all to hell. Second because I have to fill in for someone else for two days and I HATE having to fill in for that stuff because people ask so many stupid fucking stressful questions and I never know what to do and the people who could have helped have already jumped ship. Fuck. Please don't fucking crap-filled assholes this week, work and life.

And of course I haven't done other responsible shit I was supposed to do already... and I'm dicking around on here.

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[ SECRET POST #5203 ]

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