[ SECRET POST #773 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #773 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.


__________________________________________________



102.
[Pete Wentz, Fall Out Boy]


__________________________________________________



103.


__________________________________________________



104.


__________________________________________________



105.


__________________________________________________



106.


__________________________________________________



107.


__________________________________________________



108.


__________________________________________________



109.
[Rod Sterling]


__________________________________________________



110.


__________________________________________________



111.


__________________________________________________



112.


__________________________________________________



113.


__________________________________________________



114.


__________________________________________________



115.


__________________________________________________



116.


__________________________________________________



117.


__________________________________________________



118.


__________________________________________________



119.


__________________________________________________



120.


__________________________________________________



121.


__________________________________________________



122.


__________________________________________________



123.


__________________________________________________



124.


__________________________________________________



125.


__________________________________________________



126.


__________________________________________________



127.


__________________________________________________



128.


__________________________________________________



129.


__________________________________________________



130.


__________________________________________________



131.


__________________________________________________



132.


__________________________________________________



133.


__________________________________________________



134.


__________________________________________________



135.


__________________________________________________



136.


__________________________________________________



137.


__________________________________________________



138.


__________________________________________________



139.


__________________________________________________



140.


__________________________________________________



141.


__________________________________________________



142.


__________________________________________________



143.


__________________________________________________



144.


__________________________________________________



145.


__________________________________________________



146.


__________________________________________________



147.


__________________________________________________



148.


__________________________________________________



149.


__________________________________________________



150.


__________________________________________________



151.


__________________________________________________



152.


__________________________________________________



153.


__________________________________________________



154.


__________________________________________________



155.


__________________________________________________



156.


__________________________________________________



157.


__________________________________________________



158.


__________________________________________________



159.


__________________________________________________



160.


__________________________________________________



161.


__________________________________________________



162.


__________________________________________________



163.


__________________________________________________



164.


__________________________________________________



165.


__________________________________________________



166.


__________________________________________________



167.


__________________________________________________



168.


__________________________________________________



169.


__________________________________________________



170.



Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 300 secrets from Secret Submission Post #111.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: 121

[quadruplify.livejournal.com]

While many of us are socialized by school and our parents to ask questions like that when we screw up (I know I certainly was, anyway)when you're dealing with people who are your equals, who aren't your parents or your teachers or your friends, it can really send the wrong signals. You can come off like your putting the burden of making yourself a better person on other people, which is inconsiderate--it's not their job to fix you.

The thing is, sometimes a person who did something wrong may not know what s/he did wrong, and so is asking what it was. IMHO, I don't see anything wrong with this. And while I agree the burden of improving oneself should be on oneself, if someone doesn't know what went wrong, s/he has every right to find out what. Sometimes you can't improve yourself without input from other people, even people you've never met, you know? It might send the wrong signals, but continuous ridicule and mocking is hardly an appropriate response.

There's not a right answer. It's like if I complain about the way a female character is written, and someone else asks me how it OUGHT to be done... well.

Personally, no one should be asking you how something ought to be done in the first place -- if you don't like something, that's all there is to it, and other people should just live and let live. And sometimes, anyone asking that question is just looking for a confrontation anyway.

In some situations the best you can do is not be wrong.

There's nothing wrong with being wrong about something. The worst that can happen is someone comes along and changes your mind, and that's not a bad thing. Or perhaps getting mocked, but then again anyone who does that either doesn't have a logical response or doesn't know how to formulate one.

Re: 121

[sarolynne.livejournal.com]

But there's a difference between asking "what did I do wrong?" and asking "how can I fix it?" If people are getting mad at you for asking what you did wrong, and you're respectful, and you have actually listened to the criticism, that's an entirely different issue from asking how to fix your problems.

I agree that input from other people is important, and if the criticism that the OP is receive is just being told that she's wrong, then asking why is appropriate. On the other hand, if she's being told that thing X that she did was wrong, then she's asking what she should have done instead, then she might be unintentionally shifting responsibility for fixing the problem, or at least seeming to. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear about that.

I also don't think that being wrong necessarily makes someone a bad person. We've all been wrong before. We'll all be wrong again. It doesn't necessarily reflect on us in a larger sense, particularly if we respond well to having the problem pointed out. However, I think the worst thing that happens if we're wrong isn't that we get mocked, it's that we hurt other people by being wrong.