fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5369 ]

[ SECRET POST #5369 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5369 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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06. [WARNING for rape]

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07. [WARNING for incest]

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What are the most ridiculous things your pets have done? Things that make you laugh at just how silly and completely unexplainably adorable they are.

We were on the porch eating dinner. Roast beef. My mom and I were done, but my dad was still eating. Suddenly my cat jumps up on the table, goes over to dad's plate, and grabs his remaining beef and drags it off his plate before we can do anything. We're all laughing too hard to do anything then as she's licking and chewing this big hunk of meat like it is her hunting prize. She has no interest in her actual dinner now.

My first dog Polly (1975-1994, rest in peace, sweet girl) was half border collie and would've made an EXCELLENT sheepdog if she wasn't a suburban family dog, because she LOVED to herd my little brother all over the yard (L M F A O), and she loved chasing the UPS truck (within the confines of our fenced-in yard, she would hunker down the way border collies do when they herd sheep and race from one end of the yard to the other as it went by, every day, for years).

Moon (a cat) loved to "talk": he would make beeping/meeping sounds at me and my roommate, and sit in the bedroom window and "chat" with birds, other cats, and passers-by every morning. He was also a huge fan of the "Oh, You're Going To The Bathroom At 3AM? GONNA POUNCE ON YOUR FEET AND BITE YOUR TOES AND ANKLES BEFORE RUNNING OFF INTO THE DARKNESS LAUGHING AT YOUR BITCHASS!!!" game. He also took a dump in my work shoes when he was mad at me once. I did not discover that until I put my foot in the shoe. Its funny NOW, lol. Rest in peace, Moonkitty, you little shit.

Max, the first dog my husband and I got together, was a rescue and former bait dog that we spoiled rotten for 17 years. He LOVED to attack the automatic sprinklers at our condo complex. One of the best laughs of my entire life was the first time he ever did that. I still remember that evening. I laughed so hard my face hurt the next day. He just kept barking and biting at the water, it was the funniest thing! Max loved when we ordered Chinese food and loved to eat hot peppers, he would roll on the floor and paw at his mouth and then eat another pepper. He also enjoyed eating the occasional bee. Rest in peace, Pupworth P. Puppington.

Olive is my current dog. She has an autoimmune condition that attacks her joints and makes it hard for her to walk (she is under veterinary care and takes meds for her condition), so she is even more spoiled than Max was! We take her everywhere with us and she has her own stroller. She is a notorious sock and underwear thief and I own several pair of both that have tiny little teeth holes in them from where she's taken them and chewed them. She taps you with her paw when she wants your attention, despises baths and nail trims, and can sit up and beg if you're eating something tasty.

My childhood cat would viciously attack burritos. Only burritos. You could NOT leave them unattended. Mind you, not to eat the burrito, just to remove it from the table, bite it and shred it with his back paws kicking it to smithereens.
He was also good at counter surfing. You would make a sandwich on the counter and you would see a paw surfing along the edge hoping to encounter meats to drag to the floor to eat.

My college roommate had rats. I didn't like them on the floor (they would pee when excited. A lot.) but they were allowed out to play on top of their cage, the window sill, tables, us, etc) They knew they shouldn't go on the floor but one would play this game where he would wait until I wasn't paying attention and would climb down the back of his cage. When I noticed him I would say his name and he would freeze. If I stood up to go over, he would slowly climb back up until I sat back down then he would reverse course towards the floor until I stood up again. The goal was to get to the floor before I actually got annoyed enough to go over to him and scoop him up.

My dog seems to hate the color pink. I got a new pair of pink Chucks and he keeps trying to chew on them. He's also chewed a pink sweater I had as well as a pink blanket and two pink throw cushions. He also barks at people wearing pink when I'm taking him for a walk. I don't know what his problem is with the color pink, but it has clearly wronged him somehow.

One of our cats, Mitsi, seems very confused about how her tail works. If she's laying somewhere and sees it moving about, she'll start frantically batting at it to try and get it to stay still. And even after she holds it in place, if it's still twitching at all, she'll do this funny little head tilt and stare at her tail curiously, like, "...why are you still moving I don't understand?" And if her tail is dangling off the side of the couch and flicking about, she'll frantically try and paw at it then, too.

Our other cat, Lily, absolutely freaks out whenever she's put in her carrier to go somewhere. She'll meow like crazy and furiously scratch at the carrier as though she's trying to get free. And yet, if it's just sitting open in the corner out in the kitchen, she'll go and lay in it, as though it were a kitty bed. Like...????

She also apparently finds it fascinating whenever my mom or I are using the hair dryer. She'll just sit and watch the whole time.

And if we're cleaning out the cats' food and water bowls, she'll sit in the spot where the bowls normally are, as though she's waiting for us to put them back or trying to make sure we remember where they're supposed to go or something :D.

When I first brought my cat home, I had this giant poster of a drawing of a tabby cat, in slightly blueish grayscale, on the wall above the couch. It was my mom's, and I like cats, but was thinking about taking it down and putting something nerdy up instead.

When I first got her home, I put new cat in the bathroom so she'd have a small quiet space to acclimate before I let her explore the rest of the house.

But she wanted to explore, and the next day, she slipped past me out of the bathroom... and tried to pick a fight with the poster. Growling, yowling, puffing up, hissing... it was hilarious.

I still can't tell if she was being extra smart by recognizing a drawing of a cat (just the cat equivalent of a bust, about three feet high and two wide) as a cat, or dumb as fuck. I finally took it down off the wall and laid it on the floor, where she walked over, sniffed, seemed puzzled, and then wandered away. I put it back up, and she's ignored it since. I kept it because it reminds me of how hard I laughed.

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[ SECRET POST #5369 ]

Ridiculous pet things

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