Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2021-10-14 06:09 pm
[ SECRET POST #5396 ]
⌈ Secret Post #5396 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #772.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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(Anonymous) 2021-10-14 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2021-10-14 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)you think trans women don't get abused? you think trans women don't get raped? they don't get stalked? killed? you think people with vaginas don't abuse women???
for some reason you realise that forcing a women to be sheltering with men when she has "discomfort and trauma" surrounding them would be cruel, but then you go out and say well trans women just have to suck it up because i'm imagining their dicks and that is somehow their fault.
fuck offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 12:02 am (UTC)(link)Here's a suggestion: Just like you tell cis women to go to therapy to get over their penis problems, tell penis people to go to therapy so they can realize there are cis women who will NEVER want to share close quarters with penises. Thanks.
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 12:09 am (UTC)(link)not today you reprobate
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 01:14 am (UTC)(link)If a cis woman is in a shelter because she's been raped and abused by a man, and has serious trauma about being in close quarters with somebody with XY anatomy, the fact that trans women are women isn't going to make that any better or less traumatising for her.
It doesn't matter how much you cry 'transphobia' and get all lower-case angry about it, it's not that woman's fault that she's terrified to be in a room with somebody with XY anatomy. It's just how it is. And while transwomen are women, they have the XY anatomy. It goes beyond genitals. Late transitions have the wide shoulders and general outline of cis men. That can be triggering to somebody who has experienced trauma at the hands of men.
That isn't to say that transwomen don't belong in womens shelters, but there's a lot more nuance than you are putting into this. You're a shitty person, elevating one woman's trauma over another. Both can coexist without being shut up in a room together at the expense of one's comfort. Stop being a dickbag and pitting the different trauma of women and transwomen against each other.
It's great that you advocate for transwomen. What fuels the fire of the terf dipshits is that you're advocating for them at the expense of cis women with real, deep-seated trauma. Women and transwomen are not the same. They have different fights. There's a lot of intersection, of course there is, but to act like there's no difference between the two is absurd.
(The stupid bathroom debate does not enter into this, since a cis man can easily walk into a woman's bathroom at any time and do what they want -- there's no cameras, there's no penis alarms, it's a strawman argument. Shelters, however, are different.)
You do not put somebody with trauma in a room with the thing that causes that trauma. You don't put an arachnophobe in a room with a spider. You don't lock somebody terrified of dogs in a room with a dog. You don't put a transwoman in a room with a bunch of men if she's bean beaten up by men. You don't put a woman who is scared of being raped by a cis man in a room with somebody with XY anatomy, no matter how she identifies.
It's not fair on either of them and no self-respecting transwoman, either pre- or post gender confirmation surgery, would demand to be put in a room with a traumatised rape victim to prove a point and if she does then she, like you, is a fucking dick. No transperson I know (and I know a lot, since they're my community) would advocate for putting their comfort over another victim's when there was literal trauma on the table.
There should be different comfort levels at women's shelters. Some cis women are more or less happy to be with a transwoman. Some, the ones mentioned in the rest of this post, are not, and that's understandable. It's not deliberate discrimination, it's trauma. You don't get to tell a traumatised person that they're being stupid or cruel. You don't get the blame a victim for their traumatized reactions to triggers out of their control. If people could control their reactions to triggers, they wouldn't be fucking triggers.
Get bent.
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 01:51 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 01:58 am (UTC)(link)I don't disagree, but it seems to me that this is a problem that you should be able to address on a case-by-case basis, not a problem that you have to structure everything around. So it's not clear to me how this really justifies the solution that TERFs are advocating.
If you want to talk about the importance of nuance, I don't think that TERFs are approaching this situation with nuance at all. I don't think it helps anyone to take the approach that they do, and fulminate about how dangerous and evil trans women are. I think they're pretty clearly using the issue as a cudgel against trans people. And I think that's probably mostly why people respond the way they do.
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 02:10 am (UTC)(link)It's generalizing and saying that any trans woman is absolutely going to trigger any given trauma that's bullshit. If you want to approach this conversation with nuance, then approach it with nuance.
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 04:14 am (UTC)(link)Cool. Start segregating by race, then, because a lot of black women like me have suffered trauma at the hands of you white bitches. Wait? You won't? Trans-fucking-parent transphobia.
But then, this same logic allows the "gay panic" defense, so why am I surprised. "It's not DISCRIMINATION, it's TRAUMA!"
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 04:41 am (UTC)(link)Obviously shelter staff should help people manage their triggers and not deliberately expose them, but singling out penises is dumb as hell. Especially because no one at a shelter should be waving one attached to their body around or playing hot potato with a realistic dildo or...
Look, if someone is waving their dick around in public at a shelter for cis men that's still a problem, for the same reason a woman walking around a woman's shelter with her pussy hanging out is a problem.
Genitals + public or shared with non romantic or sexual partner spaces = bad. Indecent exposure= bad. Sexual assault, with dick or hands or idk, rubber chickens = bad.
Being exposed to triggers sucks but acting like penises are somehow so much worse, trigger-wise, than any other possible trigger is bullshit. Especially because if you're looking at a penis in a shelter environment, either you (because you're staring at someone who didn't want to be stared at in a private moment) or the penis-haver (because they want to force people to look at it) is being enough of a creep that they should be thrown out.
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(Anonymous) 2021-11-11 09:51 am (UTC)(link)The people who're triggered by a trans woman's presence in a shelter are going to be just as triggered by a cis women who have features they associate with trans people (this already targets butch cis women, cis women of colour and cis women with any not conventionally feminine features) long before a single look at anyone's genitals occurs.
Once you get to examining genitals, something has gone very wrong and people have already been made extremely unsafe by people looking for the opportunity to check genitals.
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 12:39 am (UTC)(link)IDK. That's just how I see it.
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 01:32 am (UTC)(link)Why do you people always try to bring cis Black women into this?
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 01:35 am (UTC)(link)Are you serious?
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(Anonymous) 2021-10-15 04:11 am (UTC)(link)Also, before your lily white ass complains, I am black and I see your hypocrisy a million miles away.
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