[ SECRET POST #5442 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5442 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 29 secrets from Secret Submission Post #779.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. https://i.imgur.com/dyiZc5i.png

[(Anonymous)]

Is this about BuffytVS? It feels like some venerable Spuffy drama.

[(Anonymous)]

Does it?
Seems more like the run of the mill poor writing you get from immature OTP shipfic in a lot of fandoms.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, same, OP. Not all relationships are a great idea at the time, but that doesn't make them meaningless, or that the breakup reason = someone was an obvious jerk.

[(Anonymous)]

Fellow fan of many non-canon ships, who also often tends to like the canon pairings the characters are in as well, and I second every single word of this secret. Alongside all the reasons you note, there's also the fact that each relationship can be important in terms of helping to shape the character into who they are now. It's a great opportunity for character growth and exploration, which is a goldmine for writers to play with!

Plus, if they're on good terms with their exes or at least, can look back on their prior relationships with a mature, thoughtful attitude, regardless of how they ended, that generally tends to bode well for them with any future relationships, no? Which, if you want a certain pairing to get together, certainly doesn't hurt matters :p.

[(Anonymous)]

I totally agree. I wish fic writers would accept that you can love different people throughout your life, but I also wish Hollywood would learn this. Another example of this that I hate: characters still madly in love even though they haven't seen each other in years. And this one shows up in actual movies and shows!

[pantswarrior]

Awwww yeah. I mean IRL I've not had a TON of relationships, but in almost all cases it was just a matter of mutual "You know what, you're awesome, but I don't think this is really going to go anywhere in the longterm." I guess it's more dramatic to have a big blow-up and hate each other, which is why it turns up so frequently in fiction, but it just kind of seems sad that awesome characters can't continue thinking each other are awesome even when they're not in a relationship.

[tabaqui]

This.
The exSO and I were married for 30 years, have been divorced for 6 - still talk to him most days, share pictures and the movies we're watching, chat about our day, etc. He comes by for a visit every now and again, we get each other xmas gifts.... I've known him most of my life (met when I was 15) - I can't imagine just...never talking to him/never seeing him again. That would be weird.

(He's remarried btw, and happy in that, as i'm happy to be on my own.)

[pantswarrior]

And I'm happy for you! That sounds like a great relationship, even if it changed course.

I came close to marriage (technically still engaged, since the s/o never called it off, but I can kind of make assumptions by this time), and that was the longest relationship I ever had, and yeah... I'm glad she's still hanging around to comment on pictures of our cats and throw dumb in-jokes at each other. Occasionally flirt with picking up old RP again. (Wish my dumb health issues let me concentrate enough to write in a timely fashion.)

Honestly every time I post cat photos on FB at least two exes react, like clockwork. And yeah, those that are married now, often with kids, I'm glad they're having a good life because they're great.

[tabaqui]

Right? It's like...unless they were a truly awful person, it's nice that someone you know, and that knows you, is there for in-jokes, like you say, or little bits of shared past, memories only you know about.... It's basically family that you chose.

[(Anonymous)]

Aw, that's really cool :). I'm glad that you're both happy, and still part of each other's lives like this.

[tabaqui]

Thank you!
I know some relationships were too toxic to ever want to (or be able to) maintain, so I know we're lucky in that respect.

[tabaqui]

Meh, yeah. That kind of idea is so depressing. Like - you only get one chance at being in love, and if it doesn't work or they die or something, you're just fucked, doomed to never love again!!

Blech.

I'd kind of like to see some characters who haven't been in love (but have had relationships of various kinds) and are totally okay with it.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes!

Even when I absolutely cannot/could not stand the canon ship, this idea that it wasn't real love bugs the ever loving fuck out of me.

(For example:) Looking at you, anyone who shipped Hotch in Criminal Minds with anyone else who wasn't Haley and wrote fic about it. I couldn't stand Haley, but I believe that they loved each other.

1000x yes!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm right with you, OP. I especially hate the misogyny and bi-erasure that results with m/m shippers where the canon female love interest is demonized because of course, she *has* to be a horrible b**** or a beard or whatever. He couldn't possibly have loved her, he can only ever love his [OTP]!!

It's so fucked up.

Re: 1000x yes!

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my god this!

[(Anonymous)]

I hate character-bashing, and am strongly in favor of amicable breakups. So in that sense I agree with the secret. OTOH, I love the "[Character] has never loved this deeply and intensely before" thing. I'm mostly okay with fics that do the whole "It wasn't really love with their past partners" thing (which doesn't have to involve bashing; it's all in how you write it), but for me the ideal is a sort of gray area, where it's like, "What the character had with their past partner(s) was love, but there was also always something that just didn't quite fit."

I don't overly care about how relationships and emotions usually work in reality. Shipping is fairly heavily informed by fantasy for me, and in my unrealistic fantasy of romance, there's one person who just feels like the answer in a way nobody else does.

[(Anonymous)]

I very much get this! It’s kind of the best of both worlds to me when it comes to shipping. No awesome characters have to be demonized or treated like it “wasn’t really love”, but the love the characters in the ship have still gets to feel special.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly!