case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2022-01-25 06:01 pm

[ SECRET POST #5499 ]


⌈ Secret Post #5499 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #787.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
UGH, SAME. That kind of shit made me feel super insecure about my gender-non-conforming self as a teenager because people would just assume that you were a lesbian if you had short hair and preferred masculine clothing styles. It was really, really toxic, and it's so frustrating to see that more than twenty years later people are STILL doing the same thing.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
What's wrong with people thinking you're a lesbian?

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
It's not fun to be constantly misidentified, whether it's people telling you that you're too pretty to be a lesbian or that you're too butch to be straight.

Furthermore, it can throw a big wrench in your dating attempts.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
...you've never lived in a conservative area, have you

(Anonymous) 2022-01-27 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
Grew up a closeted lesbian in a small TX town with churches on near every street but thanks for the condescending answer! I did not present GNC and pretended to like men and was still bullied. It's almost like kids will find any reason to pick on others and expressing the pain of that by complaining about being seen as a lesbian is extremely hurtful.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-27 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
It's a pity that what you suffered growing up didn't help you develop sympathy for others. But it doesn't matter what side of the Kinsey scale you're standing on when people are trying to gaslight you about your own sexuality while also punishing you for not conforming to gender expectations.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
okay, and if you're a lesbian, what's wrong with people thinking you're straight?

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
NA The whole concept of 'gender non-conforming' is bollocks. There isn't any way to conform to gender in the first place without assuming gender = a certain set of personality traits, interests and life choices. I'm sick of defending myself just because I am an engineer who doesn't dress 'femininely'. No, I am not non-binary, no I'm not in denial or phobic, I just know i'm a cis woman okay so fuck off.

How have we gone backwards on this subject???

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
As long as gender expectations exist, so will gender nonconformity, like it or not. A girl with cropped hair is gender nonconforming. A boy who wears dresses is gender nonconforming. These are neutral statements. We do not live in the genderless utopia you think we do if you sincerely believe gender nonconforming isn't real uwu

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 08:41 am (UTC)(link)
Gender expectations are not gender though. If people were saying gender expectation non conformity then there wouldn't be an issue. Gender non-conformity however, makes it sound as if traits were inherent to a person's actual gender. If you don't see how that's a problem, then I can't help you and I suspect nobody can.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
Yes dear, I'm sure it's very hard to have everyone assume you're nonbinary because you're an engineer. Nonbinaries are so everywhere these days, it's so rare for anyone to stop and consider that a cis-woman looking person in a male-dominated field who doesn't wear froofy dresses might just be a cis woman. You should spread the awareness by telling your story to r/thathappened.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
Ah yes I forgot, it's only an issue to be misgendered by people if you're trans or NB. Everyone else it just bounces off of us.

(Anonymous) 2022-01-26 09:58 am (UTC)(link)
imagine if you lived your life not looking for ways to feel victimized