Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2022-02-02 07:01 pm
[ SECRET POST #5507 ]
⌈ Secret Post #5507 ⌋
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Re: Stuff You Don't Want to Google/Google isn't Helpful With
(Anonymous) 2022-02-03 04:19 am (UTC)(link)my roommate and I had a friend who was, frankly, the worst person either of us had ever met. we both handled it differently; she wrote a full essay-level letter why they could not be friends anymore and emailed it to her. I simply stopped interacting with her. We no longer share the same social circles so basically cutting the toxic person out of both of our lives ended up the same way, and there was never any response to the letter so in the end it probably wasn't worth sending outside of the sender's own personal catharsis. Third party here was terribly toxic - narcissistic, and stunted by living with her parents well into her 30s so she had very little experience dealing with other people. She actually tried some years ago to pit different members of her friend group against each other, we all figured it out right away and instead mounted a resistance against said toxicity.
Basically, it depends on the persons involved, not just your own comfort level but also the other party. There's an enormous difference between two people who have their own private issues that can be worked through vs one party being entirely toxic to the level of irredeemable. In the latter case, it doesn't matter what you do, things are going to get stupid, so your approach depends on what you want. Do you want closure, or just to be left alone? If you're certain you just want a hard break to get out and never deal with them again, ghost and never respond to any outreach. If you want some sort of sense of closure or to actually air your grievance before cutting contact, then do so, but steel yourself for the other side wanting to justify themselves to you. IME it's better, faster, to just ghost and never deal with it again, but that's not the right approach for everyone.