[ SECRET POST #5510 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5510 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 63 secrets from Secret Submission Post #788.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[meadowphoenix]

tbf, I actually think Pepa is the one person in that whole song who has cause to be annoyed. His little joke to his anxious mess of a sister on her wedding day was in poor taste, lmao.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, with later context, Pepa's complaints come across more as her projecting her upset with him leaving, especially since I think he was trying to sneakily tell her that she was nervous and it's okay to be so. (He seemed to have a healthier view on how she should handle her weather than Abuela did, and Felix agrees with him and seems to only look at their wedding day with JOY. It says a lot that at the end, they're happily dancing in light hail, which is what her elation weather apparently is.)

[meadowphoenix]

I don't disagree, I do think Bruno had good intentions, but not a lot of sense. That's not a joke your triplet prophetic brother can make when you're already trying hard to control yourself. It's like saying "calm down," that's going to make it worse, lmao.

But yes, the inability of Abuela to allow Pepa to feel her feels absolutely made that little remark spiral out of proportion.

[(Anonymous)]

I can't entirely blame Abuela for wanting Pepa to have some modicum of control. Five-year-olds aren't exactly bastions of good emotional control, and if a hurricane is set off that easily imagine a five-year-old's temper tantrum. Like the rest of everything, it's that things went too far.

[meadowphoenix]

Poor Alma, one toddler causing rainstorms, the other causing prophetic sandstorms, no wonder Julieta is the most well-adjusted. I don't think Abuela's desire for control was unwarranted, but I do think this is a method problem rather than (just) an intensity issue. Like, Pepa's coping is literally just to will her clouds away or to think "happy" things, and that was never going to allow her proper control, I think. But I do have sympathy for Abuela on how she got here.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it started fine and then spiraled from there. The method that worked as a kid needed to be loosened as she aged and had more normal emotional control that comes with age.

[meadowphoenix]

I think I'm coming from the idea that you can't really have kids learn temporary coping methods unless they are temporary for an incident. A lot of this is just habit-forming no matter anyone's intentions, and a lot of the time kids learn the underlying philosophy more than they learn the technique itself. It "working" as a kid is a perspective that cares about a specific outcome rather than the unwinding the problem itself. I would posit that it didn't in fact work as a kid even if it decreased the intensity and frequency of Pepa's storms.

[(Anonymous)]

See, the way I view it is, "You do need a modicum of control because otherwise literally everyone else can get very, very hurt or worse." What happens when Pepa causes a flood because of her emotions and someone drowns? So yeah, emotional control is something everyone need to learn to a degree! It's called emotional regulation! It's a healthy thing! Pepa learning that wasn't a bad thing! The problem is that Abuela pushed for tighter and tighter control than was needed.

Because you kinda can't really. Unwind the problem that is "kids feel things very intensely because they lack emotional regulation yet and Pepa's emotions in particular literally could kill people with her weather powers spiraling out of control."

[meadowphoenix]

You do need a modicum of control because otherwise literally everyone else can get very, very hurt or worse.
This is a fear, and no matter how plausible it is, you cannot ascertain effective methods of control by privileging worst outcomes. The worst outcomes are still possible with ineffective methods. They may not be immediate, but that's a crapshoot.

It's called emotional regulation! It's a healthy thing! Pepa learning that wasn't a bad thing!
Pepa did not learn emotional regulation. Wildly spinning between anxiety and forced calmness wherein innocuous things can trigger you is not emotional regulation. That's emotional suppression and it's a bad thing. If Pepa could regulate herself, she would be able to have a conversation about Bruno without needing to replace her anxiousness with anger.

Unwind the problem that is "kids feel things very intensely because they lack emotional regulation yet and Pepa's emotions in particular literally could kill people with her weather powers spiraling out of control."
....yes you can. It's 1) actually quite rare for kids' emotions to be sustained, so working effectively on such a power will mean that it's unlikely that anything will actually get catastrophic in the time it takes to teach, 2) the "suppress you emotions" technique will not stop outbursts especially at the onset even if it more quickly provides a clear sky so the risk of catastrophic incidences is the same at the outset, and 3) teaching kids to recognize emotions and work through them means the chance of intensity is far less than in a suppression technique because a) emotions will find a way out and b) now the kids has to deal with the anxious emotion which is uncontrollable because it's a side effect of the technique. It's not actually very hard, but it takes more time and thoughtfulness than most parents are willing to give it.

[(Anonymous)]

We literally see Isabela hurt people on accident in a few seconds of letting her emotions loose but okay. It's played for laughs but the guy on the cart and Mariano are both hurt in only a few seconds. So like. It doesn't have to be sustained to cause immense harm.

[meadowphoenix]

again, you are thinking that fear should matter more than effective method, when ineffective methods are more likely to cause those very fears to happen....as the movie shows.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm thinking that Abuela going, "Hey we need to reel this in before someone gets hurt" is reasonable and not necessarily fear. Some people are just anxious, and Pepa has a temper on top of it. I never got the impression she was scared. The clear skies scene happens around her ANGER at her runaway brother she feels abandoned them--and her calming herself from being pissed that the girl who was five when he went missing just brought up an uncle she doesn't remember and wants to know about. Idk I just figured she was anxious in the case of the wedding because...... Lots of people get anxious around big events? Like the gift ceremony? If she was an anxious mess all the time I'd expect her clouding at every single scene but she doesn't. She actually shows a wide range of emotions.

[meadowphoenix]

I don't think we're really having the same conversation. What I'm most getting from you is that you believe the ends justify the means.

I'm thinking that Abuela going, "Hey we need to reel this in before someone gets hurt"
This is not a method. This is irrelevant to whether the method is effective, useful, kind, non-traumatizing, etc. "Pepa you have a cloud" is a method, and it's a bad one.
I never got the impression she was scared.
Either Abuela is scared about Pepa's capabilities or she isn't and "she might hurt someone" is even more irrelevant to bring up.

Some people are just anxious, and Pepa has a temper on top of it.
Right, Pepa has little emotional regulation. More to the point "some people just anxious" is very rare, and instead people are anxious because they have some lingering coping method in their childhood for which anxiousness is an off-shoot. Furthermore, you can literally talk to multiple psychologists who will tell you that constantly requiring your child at any age to not show any negative emotion will likely a) give the child less control over those emotions and/or b) cause anxious responses. It's a known side-effect of that type of method. I hope that helps.