[ SECRET POST #5575 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5575 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #798.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Irl it does tend to be inherently creepy, but in fic? Meh, whatever floats your boat.

[(Anonymous)]

yeah and tbh, maybe I'm misremembering, but I distinctly recall people in the past arguing that it was NBD in fic because it was also NBD and fine and unproblematic in real life. I think that was on here, actually. my memory isn't always the best so it's very possible I'm misremembering but I do remember it.

I agree that YKINMK and we shouldn't police peoples' fic or fantasies, and people who are policing peoples' fic or fantasies in any way are dead wrong and I do not support them at all, I am not endorsing them or agreeing with them or saying anything good about them, I reject them in every way. but I also think being a little more cautious and aware in how we talk about this is probably good.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

to be clear here, my recollection is that the conversation was about specifically age gaps where one of the people involved was underage

Re: SA

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Well if one of the parties is underage, that is a WHOLE different kettle of fish from relationships where there's a big age gap but both are adults. It's not the same conversation at all.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I don't think it's inherently creepy irl. I think there's a huge difference between and older person falling for or wanting to date a particular person who happens to be younger, and someone who is deliberately seeking out much younger partners to date.

Older person/younger person relationships can be creepy irl, but they aren't inherently so.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. I think it's *often* creepy IRL, and guys who repeatedly date much younger women are creepers, particularly the ones driven by thinking older women are gross (and might do things like see through their bullshit!) but that doesn't mean that each individual IRL relationship is terrible. Sometimes people are just different ages.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

And I don't see enough acknowledgment that there are a lot of young people who seek out older people to date, because they find them more sexually attractive. That's very much a real thing. The older person is not always the initiator!

It's not gender-bound either (though I think it's less common that younger men seek out older women, because ageism definitely hits women harder, and stereotypes of conventional attractiveness in the media demand more youthful looks of women).

[(Anonymous)]

Either it tends to be creepy or it's inherently creepy. It can't be both at the same time. If it "tends to be" creepy, that means there are factors that enable creepiness, but there are exceptions where those factors aren't in play. If it's inherently creepy, then the creepiness is part of what makes it what it is and can't be avoided.