fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5616 ]

[ SECRET POST #5616 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5616 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #804.
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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Remember any, wanna share? I mean ridiculous, stupid, terrible but not in a nasty violent/triggering way, just bad.

I cannot tell this to anyone irl so I'm sharing it with you guys

So in my dream a dude was going down on me (I'm a ciswoman). It was great! Dream-me came and was happy and satisfied. The dude gets up, wipes his mouth, and I notice he's wearing a fluffy top or something..? It was a fursuit. He puts on his furry head and leaves. All the pleasure from the great oral just vanished from the embarrassment.

Now I'm laughing but back then dream-me was mortified. I have nothing against furries! It just isn't a scene I'm interested in.

I had a dream I slept with Drake because my best friend, Paris Hilton, had a huge crush on him but he had a huge crush on me.

FTR At the time, I was fairly neutral toward Paris Hilton and couldn't stand Drake's music and knew little about him as a celebrity personality. I woke up confused but habored a guilt ridden crush on Drake for a couple months.

I hate Drake now. So much about that guy is gross and creepy and manipulative and selfish and I don't think he's as deserving of the praise as he gets but whatever, I'm just a dumb nobody who can't stand this guy's music or his public persona and I find him creepy and gross.

I don't like his music but I don't know anything about his personality

For some reason many nights I have dreams that start out as sex dreams but turn into chase dreams because my parents walk in and then I spend the rest of the dream trying to hide from them so I can go back to having sex. I wake up from those super frustrated.

I've had a variation on this dream! Usually with just trying to get myself off, but there's some kind of surprise family reunion and the bathroom doors don't lock so I can't even spend some time with the detachable showerhead because a bunch of strange kids burst in and won't be kicked out.

Considering the utter filth I read, my sex dreams are almost puritanical. I once dreamed I hugged my crush. That's pretty much as far as it's gone.

I once dreamt that I hooked up with a cute guy who turned out to be Tim Roth’s son. He introduced me to his dad and I had a whole weird bundle of emotions… realizing that I had been attracted to this guy because he looked like Tim Roth and trying to tactfully express that I was a huge fan of his work without suggesting that I’d rather have hooked up with my date’s father.

I had an utterly bizarre dream, slightly horror-themed sex dream the other night. I was living in the house I spent most of my childhood in (my family moved when I was like 13), but for some reason I thought that I had just moved in and was unfamiliar with it. Weird puppies and kittens that looked like they had human skin kept running around, plus a normal dalmatian, and so I went to my parents' room to tell my Dad that the house was invested with animals that weren't ours. But before I could tell him, I teleported down to the basement.

Another one of the half-puppies with human skin ran up to me, and I tried to kick it, but before I could a buff bald guy with, like, human legs in a spider formation scuttled out of this unfinished part of the basement my siblings and I used to call "the scary room" (irl it had a sandy floor and I found mouse skeletons in there multiple times). I freaked out, but he apologized and said that he was just trying to keep me from kicking Raymond, the half-puppy thing.

So then buff spider guy led me through a door in the basement that led to my little brother's room for some reason? Anyway there were a bunch more of the half-puppy and half-kitten things in there, but some of them were older this time. And then the spider guy explained to me that he was trying to breed a new race of super-humans by impregnating the dalmatian, and he said it would go faster if he had sex with me. I was like "ok" and then he, like, disconnected his torso? From the spider legs? But the spider legs were still him, like they weren't robot legs or anything, and they kept scuttling around the room while we had sex.

I have no idea what this means about my psychology lmao

lmao I'm sorry but this is cracking me up

Jesus h. Christ, lmao thats disturbing af

For the record, in all of my sex dreams, my dream self cockblocks herself and/or we change scenes so I never get to see it happen.

Except this time. This time where I find myself making eyes at some good man in a leather jacket with a motorcycle. We silently agree to fuck? Idk. But I get on the bike with him, he takes me some place and then sends some other hippy looking man to come and massage me etc. After disrobing me. It was the first sex dream where I finally witness something happening, and it's not even with guy I was supposed to do things with! WTF brain?! Motorcycle dude is just watching from outside, or something? I don't even remember. I just know his hippy friend was the one who got his hands on dream me. Smh.

I can only remember three and I guess maybe I should've twigged I was asexual sooner because I wasn't turned on in or by any of them. Even the one that wasn't actually a sex dream because I wasn't having sex, but a succubus/naked fiery demon lady showed up and dream me was like "is that supposed to be a succubus? Nice try, still not interested."

And the two where I was having sex (with regular random guys), one I remember basically nothing but that it was a sex dream and not interesting, and the other I was like "I guess it feels nice, but I'm still not exactly into it."

I'm glad that none of them were nightmares? Idk even my subconscious doesn't gaf about fucking.

This. Funny how my subconsciousness is 100% sure that I am ace when my conscious self doesn't feel THAT certain. In my most recent "sex dream" I woke up braless next to an old crush and felt disheartened/disappointed: so we had sex huh, did I give in or was raped damn that sucks-kind of feeling until I realized I had literally just fallen asleep topless next to him for some reason. Which made me go WOW! we didn't have sex so he must be The One. And then real me woke up feeling happy and satisfied. Apparently my ideal of romance is being able to sleep naked next to someone and not have sex lol.

The only time I remember having a proper sex dream I was manager-with-benefits (yeah) of a celebrity whom I adore and I didn't care much for the sex but being her manager-friend was super exciting, lived my best life there. Yep.

I basically never have sex dreams. I think I've had like two? And they were very fragmentary and the details were really blurry.

I'm ace, but oddly I'm actually capable of feeling attraction in dreams. I think it's because my dreams blur the line between "me" and "a character." In my waking life I experience sexual feelings vicariously through characters, but never as myself feeling that way for another person. And in waking life it's very clear and obvious that I am me and the character is a fictional construct, and their feelings are not my feelings. But in my dreams, sometimes "I" am a particular character, and the distinction between me and the character isn't really there. So if the character feels attraction, then I feel it first hand. Which is always a trip. I wish it happened a lot more, tbh, but it's super rare.

Had one this week where Earthworm Jim was stalking me and sending increasingly lewd love letters in the mail.

No idea what my brain was trying to tell me with that one.

sorry nonny but i am laughing so hard at this. earthworm jim! who knew he had it in him!

Earthworm Jim, from the ground did crawl...

This is one of the best I have ever heard.

Worst sex dream short of potentially-triggering-bad was...

I had to go down on an older woman in front of an audience. Now, to be fair, when I say 'older woman', she was like... in the Helen Mirren mold. For some people this would have been a GREAT sex dream.

But I'm a demisexual gay man, so I was very not into the whole thing.

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[ SECRET POST #5616 ]

Bad sex dreams

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