[ SECRET POST #5630 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5630 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #806.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

That's really not how I read that post-marriage sequence at all. The writing/language of that part is meant to evoke the image of rape, but if you actually read it, the main reason why Dany is miserable and confused to the point of being suicidal isn't the sex at all -- it's the pain from her saddle sores (which flares up during sex but is always there even when she's just sleeping; she cannot escape this pain) and general shock from suddenly living a horseback nomadic lifestyle, which she is 0% prepared for. Drogo is distant but I mean, they are newlyweds who don't share a language, are traveling all day, and Drogo has returned to his duties following the wedding ceremony. There is a limit to how intimate their relationship is going to be during this time. He is certainly not supporting her/helping her get through her trials, but he isn't the source of those trials either.

Notably, the first thing that happens after Dany's empowering dragon dream is that her blisters heal into callouses. This is really important moment because it marks that the worst of her trials is over -- not the sex, which was never the worst part of the lifestyle, but the acclimatization to a life on horseback. And, following acquiring that basic cultural necessity/skill, she gains the respect of/incorporation into the Dothraki group, because the ability to ride is so important to them. And since things are no longer all miserable pain and alienation, she actually has space to enjoy her life and deepen the connections she has with the people around her. All things her brother never manages to accomplish.

Drogo doesn't nearly destroy Dany -- living a Dothraki lifestyle nearly does. If her relationship with Drogo were more intimate, it's possible he could have supported her better through this transition. But even then, that's not the Dothraki way. He and she were both aware that it was 100% on Dany regarding whether she had the physical and mental fortitude to bear up under the trial in a way that Dothraki culture acknowledges and expects, and she did. There is no cruelty here; she is being treated like any other member of the khalasar. Like, I agree with you on one point which is that Dany saved herself. But Drogo barely enters the picture here at all on either the "hurting" or "helping" side, aside from the fact that they are having sex every night (presumably to conceive a child), which is only a small part of Dany's misery.

Subjectively speaking, as far as I recall, Dany never views the sex as violating and unwanted, just painful and something she cries her way through (there might even be something cathartic about having the privacy to cry because she can't do it in public), just like she bears all the (necessary) horse-riding even though it is a form of torture and it makes her want to die. And like, I acknowledge that there are all these very icky power dynamics to their sex all throughout including here, where Dany, who is very young and has a very different understanding of sex and expectations around it, is "consenting" (she absolutely cannot consent) to painful sex -- like, it's clearly rape. That is what we would call it. And the language of the passage where this is happening 100% reads like a rapekink porn scene (as someone who has written many such scenes...), so all of that complicates the analysis here.

But, ultimately, I do not think this sequence at all shows that Dany subjectively experiences her early relationship with Drogo as rape, or views him as cruel or abusive or trying to break her, nor is it fair to say that Drogo nearly destroyed Dany and she had to save herself from cracking beneath his horrible treatment. I think this scene still coheres with the "great wedding night" depiction of Dany and Drogo's relationship, much better than it coheres with the violent rape of the TV show, even while it is clearly painful and upsetting for her.

[meadowphoenix]

Finally got the chance to read it over, and you're absolutely right, it does come off more as being new to horse country. Mea Culpa to all the Dany/Drogo stans I complained about! D&D are gross for that then.