case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2022-06-29 05:11 pm

[ SECRET POST #5654 ]


⌈ Secret Post #5654 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 16 secrets from Secret Submission Post #809.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Um... venting?...

(Anonymous) 2022-06-30 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
Shit, OP, that's clearly a lot to deal with. Maybe do get some sleep, and possibly some food and water, whatever helps you.

(I should probably get some sleep myself, so take all of this with a pinch of salt and hopefully some charity for my inarticulate statements.)

I think you should do your best to explain to your friends what's going on with you, if you feel comfortable disclosing. Explain what's hard for you, what you need to do to take care of yourself, and how that's going to impact your friendship (and potentially make you seem like a "bad friend"). Maybe you can't easily explain the full impact of what it means for your existence, but you can hopefully describe a little. It might not even make perfect sense to them, but I would hope that they could at least understand "Anon, my friend, is having a serious brain issue and needs to take care of themself." Personally, I would much rather hear that from a friend than simply have them disappear from my life and wonder why.

I also really hope you can distinguish between pity and sympathy from your friends. I don't pity my friends or family -- I care about their wellbeing and I am sad when they're sad or struggling. I want to help, if I can. If your friends try to express their sympathies, I hope you're open to the idea that they genuinely care about you and aren't just being condescending or pitying.
tabaqui: (Default)

Re: Um... venting?...

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-06-30 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
Good post, good advice!

Re: Um... venting?...

(Anonymous) 2022-06-30 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
OP here (I did!) - Thanks a lot, anon. :) Hope you're getting some rest too.

Thanks a lot for the advice. It IS sound advice. You are right, I would rather hear something like that, too.

Yeah, my bad behavior... on one hand, I have grown to be afraid of people to the point that I would rather run away than be confused over whether that's pity or sympathy, because if it's pity, that means I will just get bullied and I don't feel strong to deal with that kind of bs anymore, but being that mistrusting is unfair to the friends that stayed and... on the other hand, I have been let down a few times by my own behavior, so I mistrust myself enough to actually believe that I am doing favors by not chasing after anyone. These aren't excuses, just things to unpack before I could reach the seemingly obvious conclusion that "oh yeah, maybe it's better to try to talk to them than not try at all" . Thanks a lot, again, anon ♥ .