[ SECRET POST #5659 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5659 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #810.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

02. https://i.imgur.com/g3Y4Zh7.png

[(Anonymous)]

aw this rules :) i also love when i look at my old stuff (especially if i don't remember it well) and have this moment of oh shit this actually fucks!

[(Anonymous)]

I love this secret!

[(Anonymous)]

You're right, OP, you are that good.

(And all those fans of the rarepairs you write are singing your praises.)

[(Anonymous)]

Was with you until that last line. If you are rereading your own older stuff and can't see how it could be improved -even while enjoying it- then that just screams mediocre self-congratulatory author I'm afraid. Know that from long long experience.

[(Anonymous)]

You can be proud of your past self for doing a good job even if it's not perfect. What do you write fanfic for if not self-satisfaction?

[(Anonymous)]

+100

[(Anonymous)]

This!

[(Anonymous)]

There's being proud of yourself and then there's thinking your own work is 'great'. The second is a red flag usually.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

Benefit of the doubt is that the bar is set low and OP is in fact really great.

Additionally, we all have different tastes, and if OP thinks what they did is great, well? What's the big deal? They're clearly the one of the only ones saying anything positive about their fic, since they get little to no traction. Look at some of the fics in any fandom that get boasted as the best thing since sliced bread, enlightened writer, prose was on par with X writer, etc. Etc. And then you read it and wonder wtf was everyone else reading, finding it to be somewhere between mediocre and entertaining at best.

I look back and there's stuff I've written that was alright, not the best, but damn did I enjoy it, had fun writing it,and the maybe 5 or so kudos clearly enjoyed it too, and so when I look back on it, I think it may fall somewhere under really good and great. That's not amazing or life changing, but damn was it good, so good I'd read it again.

Anyway, I'm just a fan of enjoying your own work and feeling good about yourself. I know I'm like this because I'm often my worst critic and don't allow myself to create at all, and then proceed think negatively about myself and my work. So with anything I do make, I try not to be so harsh and cruel to myself when looking at it. Which is why I'm, I guess, trying to bring another angle. I get where you're coming from of course, but sometimes a person just needs a little hyping up. Not to get them up their own ass about how ~amazing~ they are, but just to feel good about themselves, like they accomplished something and it's not actual shit.

[(Anonymous)]

Dude chill, OP probably just meant their own fic has everything *they* look for in fic they never said it's gonna win the Pulitzer

[(Anonymous)]

oh calm down, it ain't that deep.

[(Anonymous)]

You are the fun one, I see

OP enjoys their work, chill out

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I do think some of my past work is pretty great - for me. I write first and foremost to please myself, and sometimes I succeed. There's nothing wrong with being glad about that. Is there room for improvement? Of course. Always. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy re-reading my stuff over and over though.

There's frankly too much pressure on authors to be self-deprecating, IMO. I hate it.

[(Anonymous)]

This instant need to shut down any sense of confidence, I don't get. Why does every comment need to come with all sorts of add-ons so that people don't misconstrue the intention because people are so eager to shit on someone for the smallest things that can be interpreted in some negative way? So sick of this shit.

Have these people so quick to shit on anyone displaying any form of confidence thought that these sorts of writers aware of their shortcomings but there isn't always a fucking need to point it out? If OP is feeling down that no one really interacts with their works but wants to cheer themselves up by enjoying their fics why are you so fucking pressed that they're admitting that they find their works "great"? Like, get the fuck over yourself.

I honestly feel this is pretentious artist bullshit where someone has to point out how deep they are that they're the only ones always looking to improve and anyone who can't be critical to their past works are amateur and are the reasons why fanfics are so shit. Like, I'm getting so fucking sick of public platforms being used as a place for people to perform their suffering in terms of their art. We're fucking talking about fanfics. Let people enjoy their fanfics, good God.

[(Anonymous)]

There are people who play the dramatic for this, the 'suffering artists'. However, being self-critical isn't actually a bad thing. It's how people improve. Revelling in self-congratulatory mediocrity is far more the obnoxious attitude, especially when complaining about a lack of response - which is the usual accompanying complaint. Although in OPs case, that is impossible to measure as a result of their skills because they write rarepairs and small fandoms. Which is why I haven't mentioned that.

[(Anonymous)]

+a million

[(Anonymous)]

This is an awesome secret, OP! I try not to reread myself because I tend to get secondhand embarrassment, but sometimes I'll read a particular scene I enjoyed writing and think, "Hey, this isn't too bad".

[tabaqui]

Hell fucking yes! :D
It's nice to see someone who can say good things about themselves and appreciate that they worked hard and created something good.

[(Anonymous)]

I love this secret! And I love that last but, going back and realizing damn, yeah, I am good. I'm really fucking good.

Imo, some of the best fuc is fic one writes themselves. And ...well...not everyone has taste/can recognize quality lol (,sometimes people just want the smut, a quick gut if junk food and not a whole delicious and filling meal I'm sure your fic is).

Love it, OP! Love this energy!!

[(Anonymous)]

Your outlook seems pretty healthy to me!

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah I have to admit, I get a kick out of rereading my own fics - mostly because they're the fics I want to read and nobody else in my fandoms has written the exact thing I want to read (lol something something be the change you want to see)

[(Anonymous)]

You could be one of those people whose fics I ecstatically cling to when I develop the unholy urge to latch to a rarepair with little to no content available. Doing God's work, wish there were more like ya.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

+1000

People who write rarepairs in small fandoms pretty much have to enjoy their own work at least somewhat, because they're not going to get a fraction of the external validation of someone who writes even barely-decent fic of a juggernaut pairing in a megafandom. You have to get your emotional rewards from somewhere!

[(Anonymous)]

You are a writer after my own heart, OP!!! Keep writing and keep reading!!

I'd written a couple fics for a rare pair and at one point I felt very insecure about them, I couldn't re-read them. But then my urge to read fics for that rare pair returned, and after reading other fics by other writers (there are 2 chaptered fics that haven't been updated for years, I always return every few months in a sad hope that they'll be updated/completed but they never are), I turned to my own fics, terrified of cringing through them.
I was pleasantly surprised that I really enjoyed my fics!! They gave me the emotional catharsis I was looking for with that pair. It made me realize that I am being own worst critic again.