[ SECRET POST #5664 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5664 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 39 secrets from Secret Submission Post #811.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

My mom tried so hard to get me to have a positive attitude about sex from the time I was old enough to know what it was, and she told me she was doing it because I needed to know the rest of society would tell me sex was bad and shameful and prepare me to know that that wasn't true and I shouldn't be ashamed for loving sex because sex is the most mind-blowing thing I'll ever experience. There's a lot to unpack there! I appreciate her good intentions, but I also turned out to be ace and aro too, but those identities were invisible when I was a kid and my mom insisting that I'd love sex when I grew up didn't help with me figuring myself out.

Re: Just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

Er... yeah, sounds a little TMI, especially if you were just a kid. Sex isn't shameful, but I don't think it's something to pressure people into, either.

Re: Just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT - I'm also ace and I feel this. Obviously sex positivity is a very good, very important thing, and I am wholly in favor of it, culturally. But man, it can be weirdly a bummer for me as an ace person, because often there is an element of feeling like sex is being pushed onto you, and this sort of attitude that invalidates people who aren't interested in sex. The invalidation is mostly not intentional, but it's still pretty pervasive.

My mom wasn't that sex positive (she's not really intellectual enough to have any strong political convictions, including concerted sex positivity), but she was mostly sex positive, and I appreciate her intentions, I really do, but because I was ace it actually just made me feel worse about myself as a teen. And she still doesn't really get it. She still wants me to just "try it" with some guy, even after all these years. She doesn't understand that it will basically feel like volunteering to be raped (which is a contradiction in terms, obviously, but if you're ace then you probably get what I mean). In my early twenties she plainly asked me if I was a lesbian, and I could see the hopefulness fade from her face when I convincingly asserted that I wasn't. It would be so much easier for her if I was a lesbian; she could understand me if I was a lesbian--if I just liked sex with someone.

Re: Just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT
Hah-ha, same. My parents WISH I was lesbian, but nope I am aroace.

Re: Just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

DA
Hahaha, yeah, sounds familiar. My mother also basically told me she would have preferred me to be a lesbian instead of something like /gestures vaguely/ ~that~.

Re: Just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, I'm sorry. A random dude? Really? Even if you aren't ace, that sounds like dangerous advice.

Re: Just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

DA
I have similar stuff a lot in my life. For example my colleague (!) once said to me that I should just hook up with some random guy to have a kid. Because it's going to be too late (tm).
My friend is also an ace and her now ex-friend was trying to set her with a guy because this guy (!!!) needed a sexual partner. She also was pressuring my friend into sex because "everyone don't like it at first". Please save me.

I have a mental horror catalog of this shit.