fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5681 ]

[ SECRET POST #5681 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5681 ⌋

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Several years ago, I moved into a house in fairly close-knit neighborhood, which was a new experience for me. Most of my neighbors are really nice and we're Facebook friends. It's handy to keep each other updated about missing packages, road construction, stuff like that. I wouldn't say that I've gotten very close to anyone, but we're on friendly terms and I always try to be helpful if anyone needs it.

Well. This lady a few houses down is... well, a bit of a clutch-the-pearls-won't-anyone-think-of-the-children Karen. Regular FB posts complaining about everything, you can't say diddly squat because she'll be SO HURT, etc. etc. I don't interact much except to like the occasional post or wave hi when we pass one another as I'm walking the dog. She cannot take criticism of any kind, and anything that doesn't align with her views 100% = criticism. I try to avoid certain topics that set her off and stay on friendly terms to avoid any kind of neighbor drama. She's fine, mostly. I always respond if she contacts me about stuff and I'd help her if she needed it, I just don't wanna be best buds or anything.

I realized a few weeks ago (maybe longer, I haven't been paying close attention) that she's blocked me. I know she hasn't deleted her profile, because another neighbor mentioned that she's still posting, etc. She's blocked me. I have NO clue why. We have such a minimal level of interaction about trivial stuff that even though she's a champion at manufacturing drama, I don't think she has anything to work with? But I could be wrong.

This is bothering me more than it should, probably. If she wasn't a close neighbor, I wouldn't care. But I'm a little concerned that she'll make trouble for me (and I'm a relative newcomer here, where she's a longtime resident) or she'll badmouth me (about what, I don't know!) to other neighbors who I like and am on good terms with so far. I mean, seriously. I didn't do or say anything to her. WTF?

I would just keep waving and moving on, tbh

The best case scenario here is that she blocked you by accident

Do you want her to unblock you and make you interact with her again?

Ehhhh. I'd prefer she did just so I can keep an eye on her. She didn't post so much that it was annoying, and I feel more comfortable that way. Sort of a keep your friends close but your enemies closer kind of thing.

Sounds like a blessing honestly. You don’t need to know people like that and presumably any GOOD neighbor of yours she may badmouth you to is not going to listen to her annoying ass anyway.

I hope not, but like I said, she's got the advantage here of having lived here a long time. I'm still new, and this functions like a small town where people can be a bit clannish like that. I guess I'm anxious about fitting in and not making waves.

The other issue is that... well, I'm not sure everyone fully recognizes what a shit-stirrer she is. Some of our neighbors are really nice people who naturally empathize with her numerous problems. At best, they're too polite to point out that a lot of her problems are self-induced and wouldn't be nearly so bad if she minded her own damn business and quit trying to control what other people do. I hope they DO see through her and are just too nice to say so, but... I honestly don't know. This neighbor easily comes off as the sweet, grandmotherly type until you cross her.

I live in a very small town and this kind of FB drama goes on constantly. Nobody will think worse of you for being blocked or from her ranting about you (except for the kind of people who will thrive on any kind of gossip and they have a short attention span). She probably does this to just about everyone on a regular basis - her counterpart in my town certainly does. Continue to interact with your neighbours normally.

Lmao right this shit is exactly why I don't do Facebook or anything like it. Damn if there ain't one person always gotta be up in every one else's business.

Damn I'm sorry you're worried about this, but I wouldn't bother with it much in your place (personally I would consider this a blessing, as others have mentioned). It took you a few weeks to notice you were blocked in the first place, and there hasn't been a peep out of her, right? Then no harm, no foul! You sound like a good neighbor, she sounds like the kind of person who never matured past 9th grade and needs these little power plays to feel better about herself.* Again, don't sweat it too much if nothings happened this far.

*Please don't misunderstand me here: there is nothing wrong with blocking anyone on social media, but I am very familiar with people who love to play the block-and-then-unblock-again mind game when they get angry or upset about something, rather than straight up communicating the issue with words. In this game, the blockee is supposed to guess, grovel, and plead whyyyyy did you block meeeee. Yeah, no. You block me? Cool! Bye!

You don't seem to like her much at all so my guess is that she was able to read that off you and blocked you in fear of the same thing you're scared about right now?
That or maybe it has something to do with your dog, like she could be scared of them, or something. Or like dog pee can discolour grass and kill flowers so she seems the kind of nutty to blame a dog owner for not being able take care of her plants/lawn properly. Just be sure to pick up after your dog if you don't already.

Honestly it could be just about anything. She may just be bitter because she liked whoever lived there before you.
I think if you really want an answer your best bet would be to casually ask something like, "I haven't seen you online lately, is everything alright?" type deal. I mean that might backfire completely, but it's much less likely to do so than asking around the neighbourhood where word can get back to her where you are technically talking behind her back even though you're doing so with good intentions.

"You don't seem to like her much at all so my guess is that she was able to read that off you and blocked you in fear of the same thing you're scared about right now?"

I don't think this is the case. I'm very used to adapting a neutral to friendly persona for people I don't particularly like, but have to get along with anyway, for whatever reason. I also made certain to keep all of our exchanges brief, acquaintance-friendly, expressing sympathy for her troubles and wishing her the best, etc. I was very, very careful in ways I wouldn't be if she wasn't living a few doors down.

"That or maybe it has something to do with your dog, like she could be scared of them, or something. Or like dog pee can discolour grass and kill flowers so she seems the kind of nutty to blame a dog owner for not being able take care of her plants/lawn properly. Just be sure to pick up after your dog if you don't already."

Also unlikely. She has two dogs who run around on her property, contained inside an electric fence. She loves dogs in general, we've chatted about our respective dogs and it's one of the "safe" subjects she enjoys. I always pick up after my dog and do not allow my dog anywhere near her landscaping... though there isn't really any near the road. We don't go near her house.

The people who lived here before I did were longtime residents just like she and her family are, so that might be something. I could ask her in person how she's doing, but honestly, we rarely run into one another IRL except at a distance. Her house is set far back from the road, and if we see one another, we usually wave and say hi and that's about it.

ayrt

Hmmm, it may simply be that they're angry that you've taken the house of someone they were friends with, then. (or, of course like another anon said; you've been blocked accidentally)

My last worry is about how much you've talked to the other neighbours already about it?
Like you've mentioned hearing from a neighbour that the Nutty Grandma is still posting on FB? Was that something you asked outright after you finally noticed you'd been blocked, or something told to you by a neighbour without prompt?

Either way my only thought about that would be that she was laying some sort of trap? Based on how long it would take you to notice she'd blocked you? (fyi- I'm getting these ideas by channeling my mother who's both irrational and paranoid as all hell 100% of the time, and ready to fight about it;; lol?) If that is the very much low-nada chance, I truly think it is beyond any sort of reasonable person to give the Nutty Nan anything but a 'sure, Jan', if only to keep her placid.

I definitely wouldn't stray from your regular schedule to interact with her unnecessarily though. If you conveniently cross her path tomorrow, then ask what's up, offer to help- just give her enough of an out so she doesn't feel trapped for a real answer. Make it her choice to give it to you, as it's probably the only way you'll get it honestly. Otherwise, keep doing what you're doing and wait until the moment presents itself and/or the neighbourhood is just as chill as it always was and this was simply a false alarm.

Also I'm sending you some genuinely brilliant appreciation here for you properly looking after and picking up after your dog! <33
(There were a lot of faker-scoopers around my block a number of years ago and like- just do it guys! Forgot a bag? well come back around with one and do the best you can! Brought a bag and only pretend to grab- go fuck yourself, you're 95% there already, just pick the damn shit up!!)

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[ SECRET POST #5681 ]

Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.

Re: Late night petty (non-fandom) vent and possibly advice request.