case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2022-08-02 05:40 pm

[ SECRET POST #5688 ]


⌈ Secret Post #5688 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #814.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-02 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
collapsed for talk of self harm and suicide.



Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-02 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't deal with my job anymore. It's making me come home and pass out till late at night or come home crying or come home feeling downright suicidal.

The coworker I mentioned before?

He's a minor annoyance compared to the nightmare bastard that is our store manager. I never liked the new manager from early on. At one point he got me working on Saturdays by essentially just twisting my arm. He crunched my hours to nothing and I tried to tell him I can't work Saturdays because of transportation issues. He wouldn't listen . wouldn't discuss adding hours until I agreed to work one weekend day.

That was months and months ago.

Now he has me stuck in a job of checking receipts and greeting. It is the worst nightmare job on Earth for me, and he or the managers make it even worse by coming down on every "distraction" I seem to have. I cannot even have a chair to sit on without getting an disability claim. To have a fucking chair to sit on. Today the power went out and I was sent outside with a few others to guard the doors and tell people we're closed because of the power outage. One of the front end managers offered to get me a chair but she told me later the manager said no I had to stand.

In the sun. In a heat wave . While the doors were already shut off. To tell people we were closed.

I've come to him begging to be put back in my old position, I only agreed to move to front end because I was told Toys was moving to another location in the store... yet it appears to still be in the same place so I feel like I was lied to.

I also keep getting mixed messages from multiple people on whose receipts I should be checking, one person says 'check everybody' one person says 'check people whose items are in bags, one person says 'check people with expensive items' , one person says "don't check people here at self checkout."

When I approached one guy , as he went through his items for the receipt he threw down his grapes in a bitchy little tantrum and then stormed out . Later guess whose fault it was? Yeah it was mine. I told someone else and they say "don't listen to her". Another person is like "ask her more clearly what she means, she knows what she's talking about" . I get people telling me I'm harassing them, and telling me what I'm doing is illegal but hey just shrug it off. But then when I'm written up for being too distracted, I'm told that customers are insulted if I don't pay attention to them and won't come back. Which feels like the most insulting fucking lie after being the target of glares and accusations and little tantrums.

I'm visibly getting distressed doing this job because I'm confused and overwhelmed. I have the sneaking suspicious that the bastard manager just wants me to quit but I can't because I'm reliant on medication to live and to function. I 've tried to talk to Dad about getting another job but he insists I can't drive because i'm too unstable or whatever but he refuses to let me get a job too out of his way AND insists I should stay at Walmart because it's the best deal. Even though the manager makes me wish I get murdered.

I'm so trapped in this situation. I'm considering doing NSFW and furry commissions to make money and I don't even CARE anymore if people judge me. I just want to live without wanting to die or self harm. I dread going to work so much it's hard to enjoy my off time.
Edited 2022-08-02 23:28 (UTC)

Re: Vent

(Anonymous) 2022-08-03 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
I'm so sorry, that sounds awful and I hope things improve soon. Hugs if you want them!

Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-03 08:35 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks Hugs in return :)

Re: Vent

(Anonymous) 2022-08-03 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry you feel this way. Hang in there!

Would it be possible for you to try and find another job nearby or maybe work from home? Maybe you could take a look online just in case or look in the vicinity?

I'm pretty sure you're an adult, right? Because if you are, your father can't prevent you from quitting if you find another job or getting your licence. Worst case scenario, if you feel driving's too much right now, you could try to bike to work?

Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-03 08:35 am (UTC)(link)
I could try home depot. I know King Soopers and Safeway require you to have been working there a year before offering benefits which won't work for me.. but.. If worse comes to worse , I CAN always just pay for state insurance in the fall until I can get work benefits.

Re: Vent

(Anonymous) 2022-08-03 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
Oooof. I'm so sorry. I've been in a similar position and it's so damn tough, like soul destroying. Because you're working your ass off just trying to achieve minimal acceptance. But let me tell you, it's impossible and it's not your fault or because of anything you've done.

If you can get out and find a new job do it. I tried to stick my situation out and it really fucked me up for years after. Otherwise, my advice is to try and remove all emotion from your reaction. That's what they're feeding in. Good luck. Remember it's not you x

Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-03 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah I'm trying to stay focused and stuff but my brain is always 0 or 100% bouncing off the walls and just having people constantly giving me dirty looks is just so demoralizing.

I'm gonna try real hard with getting intouch with disability. Bout time being on the autistic spectrum did something good for me.
tabaqui: (Default)

Re: Vent

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-03 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
Jesus fuck. I'm sorry, OP, but your dad needs to suck it. This job is making you miserable and that should be his concern, not how 'unstable' he thinks you are (uh - because of horrible fucking job?????)

Are you in a small town/rural area? What else is around that you can get to with the same or less effort? If there are options that would work, just start applying. Go online and start applying everywhere. Because I get you need money for meds, but this job? Is SO FUCKING NOT worth your mental and physical health.

Also, maybe start escalating the issues up the chain of command to the highest possible person there, and see if that shakes anything loose. At the worst - see what your state says about unemployment benefits, and fucking quit.

Take care of yourself, OP!!

Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-03 08:31 am (UTC)(link)
I've always had mental issues and for a while I was very depressed and uh troubled . I have like.. autism spectrum disorder, ADHD , OCD, and (possibly) bipolar. Plus a thyroid condition . Though my dad insists I don't qualify for disability and I have been working for 13 years

I could try arranging a meeting with my therapist and getting her help.

I really really want to get out at this point. Send a message , this is exactly why this damn store is ALWAYS understaffed.

I could try calling ethics but considering Ben and managements view of my work ethic...well I just don't think they'll take me as more than a worker disgruntled bc I was written up and punished. Besides it's Walmart where if they even hear a whisper of unions they will shut down a whole store and reopen somewhere else.

I'm trying to make money in art but I don't know how far I'll get because my art skills while improved ...uh still don't feel like enough.

I'll definitely keep researching disability . One of the temp workers at my store said that her relatives got disability automatically by being on the spectrum
tabaqui: (Default)

Re: Vent

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-03 12:14 pm (UTC)(link)
From past experience I know to just apply for disability and keep applying. Someone told me that most people get rejected the first time, but then they re-apply and are accepted. Your dad doesn't know, and is certainly not the arbiter of who gets what. So yes, please - call the disability office and tell them you need help with the application process, enlist your therapist into helping, whatever it takes.

Best of luck to you, OP!

Re: Vent

(Anonymous) 2022-08-03 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry you're going through this.
Can you join a union? Is there someone you can escalate this to?

Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-03 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
It's Walmart. They would shut down a whole store if they hear TALK of a Walmart. I could try calling the ethics line but... I don't feel like they'll take me seriously once my manager has his say.

Re: Vent

(Anonymous) 2022-08-03 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
It is illegal to shutter a store because of union talk, Starbucks just bought itself a heap of trouble for that. Amazon lost a major court case too for trying it. Join a union, #SolidarityForever.

Re: Vent

[personal profile] dani_phantasma 2022-08-03 08:33 am (UTC)(link)
Really. Hmm okay then I'll look into it.

Thanks!