fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5688 ]

[ SECRET POST #5688 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5688 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #814.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Vent here

Spent an hour at the pharmacy. They were training someone new. I had rewards to pay for most of my stuff and was going to put the rest on my card. She hit cash. So then they had to call a manager, refund the rewards onto a card, and start again. Only the computer wouldn't read the rewards after. So we had to switch to the other side of the store. The whole thing took so much longer than necessary. I get that mistakes happen, but it shouldn't have been that complicated to fix.

As a cashier, I feel your pain. It SHOULDN'T take so long to fix a mistake and I absolutely loathe making a simple little fuckup like hitting the wrong button and then having to void everything or whatever. It does suck, it sucks for you, it sucks for everyone in line behind you and holding on the phone, and it sucks for me the cashier.

Bummed out over how expensive my favorite protein shakes are getting with each price hike. Sigh.

collapsed for talk of self harm and suicide.

I can't deal with my job anymore. It's making me come home and pass out till late at night or come home crying or come home feeling downright suicidal.

The coworker I mentioned before?

He's a minor annoyance compared to the nightmare bastard that is our store manager. I never liked the new manager from early on. At one point he got me working on Saturdays by essentially just twisting my arm. He crunched my hours to nothing and I tried to tell him I can't work Saturdays because of transportation issues. He wouldn't listen . wouldn't discuss adding hours until I agreed to work one weekend day.

That was months and months ago.

Now he has me stuck in a job of checking receipts and greeting. It is the worst nightmare job on Earth for me, and he or the managers make it even worse by coming down on every "distraction" I seem to have. I cannot even have a chair to sit on without getting an disability claim. To have a fucking chair to sit on. Today the power went out and I was sent outside with a few others to guard the doors and tell people we're closed because of the power outage. One of the front end managers offered to get me a chair but she told me later the manager said no I had to stand.

In the sun. In a heat wave . While the doors were already shut off. To tell people we were closed.

I've come to him begging to be put back in my old position, I only agreed to move to front end because I was told Toys was moving to another location in the store... yet it appears to still be in the same place so I feel like I was lied to.

I also keep getting mixed messages from multiple people on whose receipts I should be checking, one person says 'check everybody' one person says 'check people whose items are in bags, one person says 'check people with expensive items' , one person says "don't check people here at self checkout."

When I approached one guy , as he went through his items for the receipt he threw down his grapes in a bitchy little tantrum and then stormed out . Later guess whose fault it was? Yeah it was mine. I told someone else and they say "don't listen to her". Another person is like "ask her more clearly what she means, she knows what she's talking about" . I get people telling me I'm harassing them, and telling me what I'm doing is illegal but hey just shrug it off. But then when I'm written up for being too distracted, I'm told that customers are insulted if I don't pay attention to them and won't come back. Which feels like the most insulting fucking lie after being the target of glares and accusations and little tantrums.

I'm visibly getting distressed doing this job because I'm confused and overwhelmed. I have the sneaking suspicious that the bastard manager just wants me to quit but I can't because I'm reliant on medication to live and to function. I 've tried to talk to Dad about getting another job but he insists I can't drive because i'm too unstable or whatever but he refuses to let me get a job too out of his way AND insists I should stay at Walmart because it's the best deal. Even though the manager makes me wish I get murdered.

I'm so trapped in this situation. I'm considering doing NSFW and furry commissions to make money and I don't even CARE anymore if people judge me. I just want to live without wanting to die or self harm. I dread going to work so much it's hard to enjoy my off time.

Edited 2022-08-02 23:28 (UTC)

I'm so sorry, that sounds awful and I hope things improve soon. Hugs if you want them!

Re: Vent

dani_phantasma - 2022-08-03 08:35 (UTC) - Expand

I'm sorry you feel this way. Hang in there!

Would it be possible for you to try and find another job nearby or maybe work from home? Maybe you could take a look online just in case or look in the vicinity?

I'm pretty sure you're an adult, right? Because if you are, your father can't prevent you from quitting if you find another job or getting your licence. Worst case scenario, if you feel driving's too much right now, you could try to bike to work?

Re: Vent

dani_phantasma - 2022-08-03 08:35 (UTC) - Expand

Oooof. I'm so sorry. I've been in a similar position and it's so damn tough, like soul destroying. Because you're working your ass off just trying to achieve minimal acceptance. But let me tell you, it's impossible and it's not your fault or because of anything you've done.

If you can get out and find a new job do it. I tried to stick my situation out and it really fucked me up for years after. Otherwise, my advice is to try and remove all emotion from your reaction. That's what they're feeding in. Good luck. Remember it's not you x

Re: Vent

dani_phantasma - 2022-08-03 08:32 (UTC) - Expand

Jesus fuck. I'm sorry, OP, but your dad needs to suck it. This job is making you miserable and that should be his concern, not how 'unstable' he thinks you are (uh - because of horrible fucking job?????)

Are you in a small town/rural area? What else is around that you can get to with the same or less effort? If there are options that would work, just start applying. Go online and start applying everywhere. Because I get you need money for meds, but this job? Is SO FUCKING NOT worth your mental and physical health.

Also, maybe start escalating the issues up the chain of command to the highest possible person there, and see if that shakes anything loose. At the worst - see what your state says about unemployment benefits, and fucking quit.

Take care of yourself, OP!!

Re: Vent

dani_phantasma - 2022-08-03 08:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Vent

tabaqui - 2022-08-03 12:14 (UTC) - Expand

I'm sorry you're going through this.
Can you join a union? Is there someone you can escalate this to?

Re: Vent

dani_phantasma - 2022-08-03 08:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Vent

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 08:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Vent

dani_phantasma - 2022-08-03 08:33 (UTC) - Expand

Okay, so preface: this is very trivial, and I'm not actually mad about it so much as I'm just baffled and maybe very, very minorly annoyed.

I went to Coco Fresh Juice & Tea earlier, which is a bubble tea chain, and I ordered a brown sugar pearl latte. I didn't try it until I got home, and then discovered the drink I'd been given was just milk. So I took it back, because it was an expensive drink and Coco is only like eight minutes walk from my house. But when I got there and clarified that I'd ordered a latte and I'd gotten milk, the girl on till was like, "Yeah. That is a latte. That's what you ordered."

I'm fairly good at (politely) asserting myself as a customer, so I gently pushed to have the drink replaced and they did it. But I just...?????

By definition a latte is steamed milk with espresso. If there is no espresso and you call it a latte, you are going to confuse so many people!

I am by no means a bubble tea expert (I'm not a novice but definitely not an expert either), and under most circumstances I would cede that maybe I was just ignorant of the finer points of Taiwanese beverages. But the latte (or cafe latte if you wanna be traditional) is a beverage of Italian origin, and it has a definition, and if you are calling it a latte when it's just milk and no espresso then that is...not a latte.

I am just so bemused by this.

If you order a latte in Italy you'll get milk.

I think AYRT was annoyed that their drink didn’t have espresso in it, not that it had milk.

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 02:20 (UTC) - Expand

Did you read the comment you replied to? Or did you just glance at it and decide you knew better?

I mean, sure, and if I’d ordered “Un latte” in Italy that would be relevant.

Or, if the drink I’d ordered had been called “milk” in written Mandarin, Taiwanese Hokkien, or Hakka, then--well, I wouldn’t have known what it said, but I would’ve asked and found out it meant “milk,” which would’ve been an accurate name for what the beverage was.

But since I ordered “A Brown Sugar Pearl Latte” in west coast Canada, where the dictionary definition of a Latte is “A coffee beverage of Italian origin made with espresso and steamed milk,” the thing I got was, by definition, not a latte.

Which, to reiterate, is not a big deal. It's just very baffling. Like, if you walked into Starbucks and ordered a Cinnamon Dolce Latte and they gave you steamed milk, and so you brought it back like, "I ordered a latte," and they were like, "Yeah, that's a latte, that's what you ordered," I assume you'd find that odd. And if you wouldn't find it odd, well, you have a high bar because having worked in a coffee shop before, I can tell you that most people would find it perplexing.

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 06:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 06:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 09:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 09:23 (UTC) - Expand

Huh, now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a boba drink labelled as a latte that had espresso in it (or any kind of coffee).

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 03:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 04:40 (UTC) - Expand

I am not from US and not from Italy, but our coffeeshops call "latte" most of steamed milk drinks. We have coffee latte (coffee with milk), tea latte (tea with milk and usually spices), bubble tea latte (milk and pearls) and so on. I think it's probably a good idea to ask with elaborate drinks like bubble tea if there is no description, they vary from place to place. At least for my country

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 07:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 08:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: That's not what a Latte is, but okay.

(Anonymous) - 2022-08-03 11:14 (UTC) - Expand

This has low-key soap-dish vibes.

I am bemused by anyone expecting coffee in their bubble tea. This is very much like going to a meat pie shop, ordering a pie, and then bringing it back because it didn’t have sugar or fruit in it.

I'm just tired. My body feels tired. My brain feels tired. And everything hurts.

Annoyed that I couldn't rest on my day off because I had power problems and had to get them addressed. I moved around a lot of stuff so the guy could test outlets and such and I'm fucking sore today. (I haven't been lifting weights much these last few years). I'm sore and tired and I came back to some stupid shit at work that I don't even know how to address even though they're not big things but everyone is busy and I should just be jumping on issues anyway. Except I resent being at work after not having rested well on my day off, nevermind the crap I don't know how to fix. But I should be fixing crap anyway and should know how to fix it and I can't muster up the fucks to do so. Then I feel bad because I'm a bad worker and other people have worse jobs or no jobs at all. I just want to not be such a fucking failure this week or the rest of the year.

Reading the news about PFAS in global rainwater I just feel absolute despair.

not really a vent but more a whine. recently acquired contract work after being made redundant and like. I get why nobody wanted to do this job. It’s tedious and time consuming and there’s so many photos and videos to upload to the server but it takes so. much. fucking. time to wait and edit and tag.

I’m not ungrateful but I think this is going to take longer than the two weeks they hired me for, even if I just make a dent in it. ~~give me more time for fuckssake~~

Not a vent so much as, idk, a fear?

I don't know if I'm more afraid that my crippling executive dysfunction is caused by ADHD because oh fuck I spent 40 years, my whole life, metaphorically banging my damn head against walls until I busted through or just stayed stuck in a room because my brain can't find or use the fucking door, when I could've been taking meds and being a functioning human being. But also the meds are mostly amphetamines and when he died, docs were still working to figure out if my dad gave himself drug induced schizophrenia or just randomly went insane in his 50s (my 50s aren't so far off so yay another fear!)

Or what if it's not ADHD? What if it's autism or something else where what meds there are don't fix the executive dysfunction disorder, or there's no meds to help at all?

And every time I start pushing the damn boulder up the hill of getting appointments and screenings lined up and it doesn't work our because appointments get cancelled or relocated to places I can't get to in time, I think of the third possibility: that there's nothing wrong with me but laziness, because why the fuck is this still a problem? Why haven't I fixed it?

The whole process of getting a diagnosis is like trying to break into a bank vault to steal the keys to the bank vault. If I could get my shit together enough to do it, I wouldn't fucking need help!

Even depression meds might help but I'm not depressed; at least, not clinically.

I have been before, and the state of the world isn't exactly cheery, but I still enjoy life when I'm not annoyed at my inability to plan or organize or tidy anything at all.

In fact, being depressed makes it easier to deal, because I stop being frustrated at all the shit I want to do and can't stay on top of or keep track of. It's still awful and shitty, but I stop caring about anything but misery.

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