fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5822 ]

[ SECRET POST #5822 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5822 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Uhh... maybe opening a can of worms here but yesterday's comments on "Not Like The Other Girls" had me thinkin' and I guess I just wanted to understand some anons' points of view because I tried to but really didn't. (There was an exchange that ended in "Oh okay, I understand now. Thanks!" and I am glad anon understood because I still didn't)

But it also had me thinking about mysogyny. Not sure where y'all live but here, hitting the gym seems to be the new "cool" for young men. And a man who says "I think you're all gym rats and this crap sucks" not because he's being a pick-me, but simply because he doesn't like it, wouldn't be "Not Like The Other Men" they would be "a man who doesn't like to hit the gym" merely. "Gym rats" could (and would) criticize him and probably throw some moralizing "it's good for health!" words at him - but in the end *it's just his preference* .
My point being: of course we all think our preferences are better. They're our preferences after all. We prefer them, because they're better... TO US. Doesn't mean they are universally better - they are better TO US which is what some people seem to be unable to acknowledge on a deeper level unfortunately.
So when a girl says "it seems to me that a lot of girls like this thing but I don't because ()" I fail to see how/why that should be a bad thing or "NLTOG" in any way. They're reaching out, they're bothering to explain. "A feeling of superiority"... sounds abstract and vague, but of course it would be implicit. It's the thing we like after all, we like it because we think it's good or better. Right?
Again, to me being a NLTOG girl means being a pick-me "look how different from girls (ew) I am" kinda girl. Not in a GNC way, in a tryhard and maybe mysogynistic way.

On a related side note, people were also talking about bullying and how "girls bullied by girls get to see their lives portrayed in fiction and girls bullied by boys largely don't" and my first thought was "disagree?" but then I remembered it's about what you were exposed to. It's true of American media - particularly YA - probably, in which "preps" are "mean girls" and boys would never be rude to young ladies etc. But in shojo manga (and real life ofc) I have seen many girls who are bullied by nearly everyone. (As a young girl who was bullied by nearly everyone, of course that hit home, lol.)

About the bullying, I find it fascinating to see the differences in culture there. I think there are tons of American media showing girls being bullied by boys, but it's presented as if it's rOmANtiC, which is adding on another layer of hell. I'd prefer the shojo manga.

AYRT - Exactly!! This is what I meant. Not to say shojo manga doesn't have it too, the "aww mean fucker but pretty tsundere guy who just can't express himself because he loves her sooo much" stereotype is also quite prevalent. But at the same time I can think of at least a few instances where the guy is pictured as the asshole she is.
Frankly I can't think of any for American media. And I can think of many American stories about "only girls bullying this girl" while in shojo manga it's more often "everyone bullying this girl".

Main boy love interest bullying girl protagonist because it's rOmAnTiC is a shojo manga staple wdym. It's less common in recent years, but so is that trope in American and other Western stuff. Shojo is still behind the curve on "romantic" bullying.

This.

AYRT - It's exactly what I said, but there is still a fair share of manga (some romantic-bullying shojo included) where everyone bullies the girl so there's that. For (English speaking, generally) media I can't think of any really. It's always girls bullying girls

I'm now thinking about how it's even more rare to see media where a girl is the main bully to a boy than the other way around, and it's bothering me that the conversation yesterday would probably say that's accurate because boys just bully more than girls period. But no it's not. Because I admit I was a horrible little girl and if the flagged uncool kid in the class was a boy, which was often the case, of course my female friends and I would bully him. One time me and my two best friends made our own club for bullying a boy in a different class because he cried a lot and we thought he was ugly. You can't say boys are worse any more than you can say girls are worse.

NAYRT

I did think that that was an extra implication in their words that I didn’t know was intentional or not. I was one of the anons that agreed with them that it’s not just girls who bully girls, boys do it too. I was considering adding that of course boys also bully other boys, and girls bully boys, because nobody has a monopoly on bullying. But I ended up leaving that out, and that was probably a mistake. Because it’s true.

Yeah - again, it's the same issue with "why is there only romantic bullying from guys towards girls in American media?". Oh, because guys would never be mean to a lady of course. Why aren't there enough girls bullying guys in media? Oh, because girls are sweet flowers who would never do that of course. It's all very silly. In real life anyone can be a target and anyone can be a bully too for sure

I’m one of those girls bullied by mostly guys, who responded to that anon. And I read a lot of shojo manga too. I mostly meant that I get what they mean, because Hollywood overdoes girls bullying other girls over girls getting bullied by everyone. Not that every piece of individual media does it. It’s not that I don’t consume media outside of my country, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s just that Hollywood overuses some things, and what Hollywood does has a weird effect that spreads outside of the entertainment industry and into the public consciousness sometimes. I think that that’s kinda dumb, and I’m just glad it doesn’t seem to happen as much anymore. At least not that I’ve seen. Because fiction and reality can have similarities, but there should be a clear divide that people would ideally be aware of.

And I think it’s a bit strange that you even had to mention my response of “Oh okay, I understand now. Thanks!”. Like, that’s such a simple comment that I don’t get why you felt it was necessary to include it in quotes. I’m sure it wasn’t your intention, but it almost looked like you were calling me out for making a nothing response at first. I just don’t know why you felt the need to do that. That’s like mentioning “Someone even responded “K””, when you can just say “other people seemed to understand them, but I couldn’t”. You’re not doing anything wrong, per se, but I do think it’s weird to include that.

Also, I’m not saying I agreed with everything that anon said. I did agree with some of it. I just didn’t know how their first response was relevant to the post they were replying to. They explained why, and I answered that I got it now.

AYRT - Agreed.

Because I was the anon from the first post, so I tried to understand the replies, but that particular exchange I didn't understand at all. Sometimes it's an ESL problem, but at least one more person didn't get it at first so I thought well maybe they could have worded it better. Because I still don't get their point and I feel like maybe I should. That wasn't mockery at all, it was just so people could ctrl+f to see the exchange lmao
All I meant to say was "good that they got it but I still don't so can someone explain?"

My bad then, I read tone where there wasn’t any.

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