Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2023-01-08 03:19 pm
[ SECRET POST #5847 ]
⌈ Secret Post #5847 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 51 secrets from Secret Submission Post #837.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-08 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)Turns out I was just ace.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 12:37 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 01:59 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 02:54 am (UTC)(link)You could've asked in literally any other way, but chose to go about it in the asshole way. Maybe you don't know many other non-assholes in your life if this is how you choose to act.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 03:26 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 03:45 am (UTC)(link)*sigh* Yes it does happen. I've been accused of being a troll before for telling this story, but I'll say it again. I grew up in a small very christian town. Women wore dresses and long hair and cared about make up, cooking, boys, and babies. And god, of course. And if you didn't perform that, then you would have NO social life. Good luck finding a job. To go to college was seen as very dubious unless you were explicit that you were going to get your Mrs degree. My own father refused to sign my FAFSA paperwork because I "just need to find a man to marry". I was the weirdo in town. I got bullied by most of the girls in my school with the tacit approval of all the parents (except my mother) and the teachers because I didn't present the way I should. Thankfully that stopped fairly early when I got to be 5'11 and the girls were too intimidated.
I could not relate to any of the girls I grew up around. They tried to fit in, because of the social pressure. I could have given less than two shits about social pressure or fitting in. It's all too tiring for me. So yes, the people I related to most were men, both IRL and on TV because they were the only ones allowed to be themselves.
Just because YOU didn't experience it and YOU can't imagine yourself feeling that, doesn't mean NO ONE can and frankly your gatekeeping is disgusting and hypocritical.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 06:55 am (UTC)(link)I'm so sorry you had such a rough time, and I appreciate you sharing. I hope things are better for you now.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)Yes! I moved to a large city and managed to get to college without my dad. Turns out I did get my Mrs degree: I met my now-wife at college. She's ace, too!
Also, unlike my childhood, all my friends now are women (not by design, it just happened that way). As soon as I got away from my tiny town, I found out that there are places where women are allowed to be themselves, too.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 04:37 am (UTC)(link)SA
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 05:21 am (UTC)(link)Re: SA
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 03:01 pm (UTC)(link)Much appreciated.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 06:04 am (UTC)(link)I also grown up not feeling that connected to women and I am from huge fucking city that is bigger than a lot of countries. Just I didn't know any aces growing up, because we are a sexual minority. And yes, I knew about trans people before I knew about ace people. I've learned about my own fucking identity in my 20s and was in denial for several years.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-09 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)*fist bump* I didn't learn about asexuality until my junior year in college. I even came out to my mom as bi, because I had been told that bi people were attracted to both genders and I felt equally attracted to both genders (i.e. not at all, I came to discover). Welp, at least I got that out of the way before I introduced my mom to my wife! Though, my mom still doesn't know I'm ace. I don't know why, but I have a much harder time coming out about that than anything else. I've told exactly two people, my wife and my best non-wife friend.