fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5883 ]

[ SECRET POST #5883 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5883 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you have a complaint that you know is silly, put it here!

Mine is that I never develop physical attraction to people until I've put in some time getting to know them and/or being in their proximity - took me several weeks of seeing someone twice a week before my last crush formed. I'm like the epitome of a cold pot that's set on a hot burner, even celebrity crushes never seem to appear or take root unless I learn a bit about them first (or at least their public persona.) And it takes time for me to get over feeling stiff/awkward when getting to know a new person under any circumstances. Yet I'm currently unreasonably annoyed that I haven't yet started to feel sparks for someone I've seen in person exactly twice. He's nice looking, and we've had two pleasant, low-key dates, but that's it. I'm barely even really warmed up to him on a non-romantic level yet (though he seems really nice so far.) So it's kind of absurd that given my usual patterns I would somehow expect it to go any faster this time.

You kind of sound like me.. just here to say this lol. Makes me feel less off.

My foolish complaint is that the person whom I want to pay attention to me (out of boredom and because I find them somewhat physically attractive and I would be flattered) isn't and I don't actually want anything with anyone right now so I really shouldn't be complaining lol.

I don't really get physically attracted to people beyond acknowledging that they're good looking, but yeah, I've only ever thought I might be able to stand dating/sleeping with people after I get to know them. I get how that would be annoying if you actually wanted to get together with someone and had to wait for attraction to kick in. I hope your wished-for crush works out for you.

My vent is that I'm annoyed with myself that I drank something with caffeine in it (not big on caffeine usually) late enough that my body won't calm down enough to sleep.

Sometimes I at least get an executive function boost from caffeine, but nope, not tonight.

And (tl;dr essay incoming) I just generally wish my executive functioning actually functioned. My brain's CEO of Actually Getting My Shit Done On Time (or at all) is apparently on indefinite leave without pay.

I wish I didn't have almost no chance of getting an ADHD diagnosis or safe for me ADHD meds if I managed to navigate my shitty HMO and suspicious doctors with my brain hogtied by my aforementioned complete lack of executive function.

I'm the opposite of drug seeking; thanks to a family history of debilitating addiction I'm terrified of mind altering substances including amphetamines, opiates, and anti-anxiety meds.

But it would be great to know that the thing about myself that causes me the most distress and anxiety could just be treated with pills.

And I know executive dysfunction has many many causes. It's just that ADHD is the only one with meds that specifically treat that dysfunction.

I'd be most worried to be written off as depressed, which I have been, and anxious, which I still am. Many many people have assumed I'm autistic to the point where I sometimes just say I'm self-diagnosed.

But only diagnostic checklists for ADHD make me go "check, check, check, fuck," because damn, I meet all the criteria.

But I have a steady if not super well paying full time benefitted job and am not suicidal or at risk for losing my housing or anything, so getting an appointment for mental health care at all is like winning the lotto.

I'm glad I'm not suicidal; been there once and hopefully never again. But it sucks that absent an immediate crisis I'll probably never get the help that would vastly decrease my chances of ever ending up in crisis in the first place.

And living as a hoarder hermit who can't organize to save my life and knows more of my neighbor's pets than my neighbors is still a better life than drinking myself to death rather than deal with having been incestuously abused as a kid (like my mom) or self-medicating with every drug ever until I develop drug-induced paranoid schizophrenia and eventually commit suicide (like my dad.)

But holy shit, that's a low bar. And ffs I'd like to be able to clean my own damn house.

I know this comm hates this word, but it sounds like you might be demisexual.

This comm hates that word? That's news to me.

It was a good way to incite instant drama back in the day. Maybe that’s not the case anymore.

NAYRT
Have been here for a last year or so, this comm seems positive towards ace people

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[ SECRET POST #5883 ]

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