[ SECRET POST #5893 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5893 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 09 secrets from Secret Submission Post #843.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

I just went to a screening of a short documentary film at the local college. And it was SO BAD.

Poorly filmed, poorly edited, poorly spoken about. No focus, no substantive points, no in-depth anything. The Q&A was awful. The speaker couldn’t answer most of the questions, which made it seem like they hadn’t done any background research at all. Plus, they clearly only wanted to call on the adults and mostly ignored the students.

I spent the whole 20 min walk/ride home complaining with my roommate. (He convinced me to go with him.)

But I’m not mad.

It felt great. I’ve been depressed and uninterested in things and my brain kind of woke up for a moment to catalogue and analyze all of the mistakes that were made.

Re: When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

I find this happens a lot to me too. I’ll be all burned out but the moment I’m in a car with one of my parents I’m complaining and I think it just gets it off your chest / out of your head.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Yes! As an adult, I have quite a close relationship with my parents, and one of the aspects of our relationship I treasure is the ability for us to vent complaints.

SA - clarification

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like I have to clarify that I’m not bashing a student film here.

This was a professional woman in her 60s or 70s. Supposedly had a long and successful career in public television and developed this project with her partner, an established documentary filmmaker.

Re: When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

I always feel better after I complain about stuff. I’m lucky my bestie’s such a saint ‘cause no one else would tolerate me bitching about stupid fandom shit.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

It really is so valuable. Sometimes you’ve got petty negative stuff to say and you just need someone to listen and validate your venting.

Re: When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, sometimes that's what gives you energy! Lol I'm glad it did!

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah! Much appreciated!

I’m actually kind of motivated to attend more events/lectures at the college. Even if I don’t enjoy them, maybe they’ll spur me on to some more mental activity.

Re: When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, PLEASE! My family is very like, "The energy you spend complaining is energy you can be using to solve your problems," but I just need to bitch with a friend for a while before I can focus on what I need to do. I like complaining and find it helpful!

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly!

My mother has a tendency to get me to experience art she likes and then immediately say “Isn’t it fantastic?!”

I appreciate her enthusiasm, but I guess sometimes “negative energy” is easier to access. IMO, complaining is better than apathy.

[Note: if you’re interested or in need of some new mental health perspectives, I remember reading some stuff from Kate Bornstein about working through complex emotions and that when your in total apathy or despair, it’s easier to get to “anger/frustration” than to “enthusiasm/joy”. Probably in the book “Hello, Cruel World”… actually, I probably ought to hunt down my old copy.]

AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Ohhh yeah. I never thought about that but "sometimes 'negative energy' is easier to access" and feeling like I don't react as fast emotionally as the people around me is very relatable. And that book sounds right up my alley - I'm gonna look for a copy!

Re: When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

I love getting a good bitching session going. It's enjoyable to think and feel and express and sometimes it's so much easier to do those things about a negative than a positive because the sound of my own voice is more fun than the echos of the memory of the thing.

Re: When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

Oh yeah, I find being able to vent and express my negative thoughts and opinions really valuable for my mental and emotional health.

It's one of the things about current fandom that makes me the most discontent, is that unless you hang with antis (which I don't want to do), it tends to be fairly "positivity only," and I just personally find that stifling. Like don't get me wrong, obviously a little bit of negativity tends to go a long way--nobody is going to want to be mutuals with someone who is relentlessly negative--and also it's important to think about how one is phrasing things so that you're not criticizing people for liking a thing, just criticizing the thing itself. But with those caveats out of the way, yeah, I would honestly love if fandom provided a bit more space for people to be critical and express negativity without framing that as being wildly antisocial and trying to start shit.

Re: When complaining about things gives you energy

[(Anonymous)]

-Thank you-