fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5929 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5929 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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03. [SPOILERS for Paranormasight]

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04. [SPOILERS for 17776: What Football Will Look Like in the Future]

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05. [SPOILERS for The Mandalorian s03e03]

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06. [SPOILERS for "Mastermind" by Taylor Swift]

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07. [WARNING for possible discussion of abuse]

[Jack Stauber's OPAL and Moral Orel]

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08. [WARNING for discussion of rape]

[Elden Ring]

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09. [WARNING for reference to Andrew Tate/sexual assault/sexual trafficking]

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10. [WARNING for discussion of rape]

[Angel in the Whirlwind]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #848.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments, this is just rehashed wank ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Your mom is a narcissist. There's nothing wrong with you for being ace, but plenty wrong with her for making everything about her.

Honestly, I can't blame the mom because it sounds like she's been dealt a really shit hand in life and OP's dad is a fucking coward for not just divorcing her when it's clear that OP's mom wants a relationship that has a sexual element to it and OP's dad does not. The vast majority of people (rightfully) assume that if they get into a relationship with someone, sex is going to be a part of that relationship UNLESS you have specifically discussed things beforehand and agreed that that is not a priority for you.

And I say this as someone in a relationship with a person for whom sex is NOT a priority and they would be completely comfortable in a relationship that had no sex whatsoever. I knew up front what I was getting into and I was okay with this because I love them and I love them whether we have sex or not. I don't need sex so much that I can't put that aside for the fact that I love this person and I'm willing to match their needs on that front.

AYRT

I absolutely blame the mom because her kid IS NOT HER THERAPIST. Her situation may not be her fault, but it IS her responsibility. She's a shitty mom. End of story.

You can't blame the mom? Really? You think it's totally cool for her to trauma dump on her kid and project all this toxicity about her personal life upon her own child, a person who had NO say or responsibility in that?

It's not about the sex, or lack of sex. It's about OP's mother taking her bitterness and unhappiness out on an innocent person.

It sounded from the OP's story like the dad not wanting to have sex was a recent development, or recent enough that it wasn't there when they got married. Maybe I'm making too sweeping of an assumption, but then again, so are you.

" OP's dad is a fucking coward for not just divorcing her."

Harsh but I agree with this. If Dad is asexual and over it, it's time for both him and her to move on. Sex is very important to some people and very not important to others. It's not fair to either of them to continue.

Wow, no, fuck that noise, the mom is TOTALLY IN THE WRONG, wth.

I don't blame the mom for being sad that she can't have sex (I personally would not be happy in a monogamous relationship with no sex ever, so I have some sympathy), but I absolutely do blame her for using HER CHILD as an emotional dumping ground and unpaid therapist, especially when the mom is shitting all over an identity that the father and the kid share. EW.

I think the trouble is that you're talking about the Mom's feelings, but they aren't really the issue here. It's her behaviour that's the problem. She can't choose her feelings, but she can choose to deal with her feelings in a way that isn't damaging to the people around her.

You act like they're living in a society where only men can initiate divorce. If it bothers her so much, SHE should get a divorce, but I guess she's too much of a coward for that.

Yeaaaah sure. And of course dad knew that he was asexual. Like vast majority KNOWS what it is. Especially people old enough to have a grown up child. Fuck off. If he is asexual and not just doesn't want sex with this woman for different reason he probably just powered through sex thinking it's the only way to have relationships at all.
So get off your high horse and continue making your own sacrifices for your life. You are the fucking hero.

Nope, I have no sympathy for the mom. If she's so terribly unhappy with her husband, why doesn't SHE divorce HIM? Instead all she does is complain about it to her kid, instead of actually doing anything.

Hat's not mentioning how fucked up I is to call anyone abnormal for not liking a thing you like but the also saying that about your own kid TO THEIR FACE. And the general emotional abuse she engages in.

I hope OP gets to pay back her debt and get out quickly.

Found the ace exclusionist.

Mom could ALSO initiate a divorce, but instead she cares more about having a punching bag.

Eat sand.

yes. this exactly.

[ SECRET POST #5929 ]

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