[ SECRET POST #5975 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5975 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Crystal Project]























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #854.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Random Thoughts

[(Anonymous)]

The thing about my insecurity is that I know humans are bound to be insecure in general, we often seek for external validation...but I just get this feeling that maybe I'm doing it wrong?

Like, I see when others are feeling insecure and wanting to have "their" moment.
So I give it to them.
But there are times where I feel like I deserve to have "my" moment.
If there is someone there with me I often feel like I have to share my moment or downplay it.
And I get it can be because the person I am with is feeling insecure and they want what I have...
Why do I feel like shit when I share my moment/downplay it?
If I don't place importance on how the other person feels and just try to soak up the glory/attention, I often have to deal with someone being distant or even hostile afterwards.

Like, I think the problem is me, right? I should just stop caring so much that someone can't be fully happy for me when I have my moment and I should just deal with the after effects of having my moment while coping with a person/people who might be projecting their stuff onto mine.
I just wish it wasn't such a fucking pain in my ass to feel all these feelings.

And yeah, I'm currently not sharing my wins/proud moments too much. Mostly as a way protect myself from feeling hurt or guilty with how others might react.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

PS. Reading this feels like I left out another side of the story.

I think I also feel resentment. On the other side of this is me often feeling like when others share their wins or having "their" moment, I try my best to be happy for them and celebrate them. Make it about them and don't overdo it (unless I know that's what they want lol)...
But on the flipside of that, those that I support and celebrate tend to not reciprocate. Or it feels lacking.

Again, it's me being insecure and projecting right?

I don't know how to get over these feelings.

I am genuinely happy for my friends and family when they want to celebrate.
It's on me to figure out why I feel like others' reactions to me having my moments suck ass and hurt me more than make me feel good.