fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6054 ]

[ SECRET POST #6054 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6054 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[https://youtu.be/g4AgzQvFNZs]

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is it more comfortable if the person you're talking to also doesn't look at you, or is it purely a you thing - like you looking away and not making eye contact is enough to make you comfortable conversing.

Eye contact or generally looking at the person who is talking is a sign of respectful listening to me, but I never want my own idea respectful listening to make someone else uncomfortable you know? I know it's probably individual opinions and situational, but I just got to wondering in general.

I guess I'm just not good with eye contact. I know it is important. But I have no internal sense of when it is enough and when it is too much. So I always feel like I'm staring at people and looking weird when I try eye contact.

But do you care what the other person does?

No, I'm just terrible at reading people and always assume I'm wrong and everyone is judging me.

I get that. My background brain is always saying that, and is particularly loud when I'm trying to fall asleep. It's rough.

I was always taught that when you're talking to someone, you should be at least looking at them if not making eye contact. Is that not what's taught as general etiquette anymore?

There are a lot of people that find it very uncomfortable. Often people with autism, for one example, find it rather unbearable and makes socializing difficult.

I got to wondering because I'm watching this interview with a person diagnosed with autism and antisocial personality disorder and they are looking all around and never making eye contact and the interviewer is just making normal levels of staring straight at them, and I was wondering if the interviewers focus was making the person uncomfortable or if it really didn't matter to them. They were clearly nervous, but probably just nervous about being interviewed in general.

When I know someone well I'm not bothered by the person I'm talking to looking at me, because by then they know that I'm not good with eye contact and I no longer feel the need to 'make up' the difference.

When I first meet someone though I notice it and it partly stresses me out because I feel like I have to look at them back and it becomes this weird performance almost? It reduces over time and it stops bugging me, but at first yeah: kinda hate it but that's my issue to work around.

(I warn potential friends that I don't make eye contact a lot, I don't spring it on people, but with strangers I just have to try to adapt as much as I can).

I'm on the stupid fucking autism spectrum and I had to sort of train myself not to react badly to eye contact.

I hate it when people try to make eye contact when we're talking. I get so distracted trying to avoid it, I miss what they're saying. Eye contact is so uncomfortable.

A person looking at me in the eyes just makes me feel like they're staring right through to my soul. It's Soo uncomfy and when my gaze locks with another person I look away on reflex. . no no no no do not want!

What would you prefer the other person do?

I honestly don't know do I just sorta do all the avoiding eye contact myself.

Look down at my lap. Look around the room . Idk. I just do not like eye contact and no amount of "it's socially normal" will change that

I don't mind if people look at me while talking but constant eye contact makes me uncomfortable. It's not their fault though; it comes from a history of abusive people getting in my face and demanding my attention. I'll try my best to look at them but locking eyes won't happen much in my case.

Purely me thing. I don't care what other person does as long as they don't demand eye contact.
I hate then people verbally notice that I avoid most of the eye contact. One guy commented something along the lines "oh you don't tend to look at people when talking". CONGRATULATIONS YOU NOTICED. What do you want from ME?

I don't care if someone makes eye contact with me or not. I tend not to make eye contact because I know that some cultures don't like it and it's uncomfortable for some, so I tend to look just past them, or away from them at something, but I make sure I speak *at* them and listen.

So - unless all you're doing is staring at your phone and mumbling unintelligibly, I don't care where you look when we talk.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #6054 ]

Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Background:

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact

Re: Question for people who don't like eye contact