[ SECRET POST #6057 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6057 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Some Ordinary Gamers]



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[Skullgirls]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 40 secrets from Secret Submission Post #866.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: late night musings

[(Anonymous)]

I was thinking about the most recent serious fandom I had joined and why I left it.

And I guess...I just wonder why some people act so confusing?

I had a friend who I knew outside the fandom and when I joined the fandom they were welcoming and helped me navigate the fandom at first, which I appreciated very much.
But after a while I noticed this pattern of said friend being super "this fandom is so fun with all its silliness" laced in with seemingly out of nowhere comments being super critical of the fandom.
Like one time we were talking about a canon event and I expressed excitement along with the fandom and my friend said something to the effect of, "Yeah but you know it's not real. I swear, some fans will eat all this shit up as if it's real."

Like...I can't figure out if they have strong conflicting opinions because they have a love/hate relationship with fandom...and like, are they aware of it?

I wanted to ask my friend but based upon conversations in the past I got the feeling my friend would dismiss my inquiry as a cynical question and not respond truthfully. Or they'd get defensive and start telling me every judgmental thing they'd ever wanted to tell me that I do to turn the conversation into being about me (I had confronted them over being dismissive of my feelings and they responded by telling me I was dismissive of their feelings in the past and then wrote a laundry list of reasons as to why I am in the wrong, not them).
We stopped being friends a while ago, but I still wonder why they were always so hot and cold with the fandom?

Like, I get that we can be critical of the things we enjoy but sometimes I wonder if we can be a little oblivious as to when to be critical?

Re: late night musings

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like there's immense pressure on people to constanyly mentally police themselves. Especially when they're enjoying themselves.

Re: late night musings

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry that I don’t know what you’re talking about/can’t imagine this kind of situation so maybe I got it all wrong. But from what you’re saying this friend seems to be very invested in the fandom (you’re saying they joined first and helped you navigate it, so they must’ve been there for quite long) and in that case isn’t it natural for them to have strong opinions about it? Sometimes fandom isn’t how we want it to be, we may like the work but not the fans or whatever the author chose to turn canon (often because of the fans’ opinions so it goes both ways) it happens. Sorry if I got it all wrong. But what you’re saying reads to me as “my friend is wrong because they have a love/hate relationship with a fandom” and it makes me want to say “don’t we all??”.

The rest of what you’re saying doesn’t make much sense to me (is it canon or is it not, this thing they said isn’t real? Do they mean it’s fictional thus not important? Is it something they didn’t want to become canon, were they personally invested for some reason, if yes maybe they took your canon-supportive reaction personally) just blindly guessing.

Re: late night musings

[(Anonymous)]

I'm afraid to name my fandom lol

I was trying to thread words together to try to make sense of it, but I think I just suck at getting my thoughts out cohesively.
I don't want to paint it as "my friend sucked and I don't know why they hurt me".
It was more like I was thinking of a former friend and I realized in the last year of our friendship was when I got into the fandom. And I recall feeling anxious about talking to my friend about the fandom because often our conversations were filled with said friend bringing up harsh criticism of the fandom.
(FTR our friendship ended due to lack of communication and having different interests, it wasn't that I cut them out because they did a big Wrong on me or anything like that)

I think I am wondering if someone complains to me a lot (no matter the topic), if I feel like the complaints are deeper than what is surface level, how do I know if the topic is worth keeping around?

I see that I projected my insecurities onto my friend's comments, and I didn't trust my friend to confront them because in the past it didn't go well.

As for the fandom thing...I think I just want to know why do some fans stick around when it seems like they're mostly focused on the negative stuff?
Because seeing my friend's judgment/complaints made me wonder "why are you still in the fandom if it's so bad and so many fans also suck?"

Like...I'll say we're into The Cheetah Girls. Friend has been a CG fan from the first movie.
I watch the 3rd movie and become a fan from there.
If I say, "I was watching the first Cheetah Girls movie yesterday and I loved that friendship wins in the end lol"
They'll respond with, "the actresses hated each other. Raven couldn't stand Keily and that's why she didn't return."
Me: "oh yeah, read about that, they were teens. But like my best friend and I sing 'one world' all the time, our new theme song"
Friend: "lol they can't stand each other and they're singing about friendship ruling the world. I got the new DVD for One World! So excited to open it and watch it!
Don't tell fans that there were dance doubles or else you'll be called a hater even though it's true."
Me: "I haven't bought the DVDs yet but I saw one for the first movie with the cover signed by Raven Symone on eBay. Might try to buy it!"
Friend: "Disney didn't even promote the DVD releases, but they still sold well because the fandom is that strong! Not that DVD sales mean anything, the stans will say that the first movie sold the most because that's the one with Raven in it. Like, they're just Disney movies."

And then I start thinking, "I don't want to talk about CG or to my friend anymore."

Because even if my friend isn't shading me, I still feel the negative talk and feel like it's directed toward me. Oh it's not directed toward me? But I don't want talk down about othe fans or how the actresses didn't get along or how fake Disney is.
I just wanted to gush about Raven Symone's vocals and the costumes inspiring my own fashion tastes.

And I think my musing was really just, "If I want to revel in the positive stuff, why do I keep ending up in the company of people who want to revel in the negative?"

Not to say that I think those who revel in the negativity are bad people, I need to bitch and vent too, but just that...I don't like harshing on others' vibes but I don't know how to tell people when they're harshing my vibes because I'm afraid people will turn my "You're hashing my vibes" into "no you're hashing my vibes.