[ SECRET POST #6058 + 6059 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6058 + 6059 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 25 secrets from Secret Submission Post #866.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Venting

[(Anonymous)]

"PIV sucks for women," is sort of the, "Real women have curves," of the sexual sphere, IMO. Mostly good-intentioned, but inadvertently pretty insensitive, due to the general social tendency to distill extremely valid and important sociological concepts down to pithy hot takes.

For a really long time, the prevailing narrative was that if you're a woman who doesn't get pleasure from PIV, there is something wrong with you. That narrative only started to change pretty recently, and I would argue that it's still semi-prevalent; it's just being met quite loudly by a counter narrative, now.

The asshats saying invalidating things about people who enjoy having sex a particular way are being radical and reactive, and they suck. It's totally fair that you want to tell them to go fuck themselves. But at the end of the day, you're still part of the group who's sexual tastes and responses jive with the prevailing sexual hegemony's interests. I'm not going to say the system is on your side, because you're a woman and we're talking about sex; of course it's not. But the prevailing system is less hostile and invalidating to you than it is to the women whose sexual preferences aren't in line with the norm it's still trying to enforce.

So basically what I'm saying is, tell the asshats to go fuck themselves if it'll feel good to do so, and then move on.

Re: Venting

[(Anonymous)]

The system being on one's side can feel extra shitty when you as a person have immersed yourself in the counterculture that correctly believes that the system -- the patriarchy, here -- is a bad thing that needs destroying. Nobody like that wants to aid the enemy or get the approval of the enemy. And hearing from the counterculture to get over it because the enemy/system/patriarchy is on their side can also be worrying for the same reason. It's like they're saying "Your sexual preference that lines up with the patriarchy's standards is a flaw that we accept you in spite of, and just remember you're helping them in a small way by conforming" and it sucks to be told by the people you trust to hold the correct views that something you can't help and doesn't actually affect anyone but you is a flaw.