[ SECRET POST #6136 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6136 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Long Gone Days]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #877.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Ask for advice

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like you already know that connecting your writing with your friend ghosting you isn't rational, but it still has an emotional impact on you in the form of intrusive thoughts. This might sound silly, but have you tried changing up how you write? I mean, if it's possible, can you change the environment where you write? Choose a different location, a different time of day. Have different music or ambient background noise playing. Create little work-related rituals that'll help you change your mindset from the usual to something new.

And the key to intrusive thoughts is that you interrupt them immediately when they occur. Don't let yourself get sucked into that spiral of anxiety. Get up and take a walk, get a drink, fix yourself a snack, chat with a friend, play a game for a set amount of time, something to distract yourself for 10-15 minutes. Then go back to your ritual and start writing again. Repeat the distraction as needed.

Another thing you can try is reaching out to other friends and/or making new connections. It's doubtful that the ghosting would trouble you as much if you felt happier and more secure in your other relationships, so maybe tackle those and strengthen those connections.

Re: Ask for advice

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for the advice. It honestly wasn't bothering me too much, until I started writing again because of the strong association I had with them about it.

I think the most upsetting thing, isn't that I was ghosted tbh. It was that it was really out of character for the person I thought I knew. Also really random. I can't help but wonder what was behind it all, because it truly blindsided me. And it's more upsetting now that I know I'll never get some sort of answer. It made me really evaluate how I talked to other people as a result which sort of sucks. I've tried to make my peace with it for the most part and yes, as you said spend more time with the friends I know irl.

I will take your advice with the writing strategies and doing other things when the doubt comes. It just sucks to sometimes feel this way when I write.

Re: Ask for advice

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I get it. Not knowing is often worse, because your brain keeps turning the puzzle over and over in your mind, trying to come up with possible solutions, weighing those solutions, debating the flaws and weaknesses of each one and trying to figure out what the likeliest answer is. When it comes to personal interactions, you can end up re-examining everything you ever said to that person, what they said to you in return, what that meant, whether or not they interpreted something you said differently than you intended, whether or not you misread something, etc. etc. My brain does that, too. It's a weird kind of mental paralysis at times where your brain gets bogged down trying to resolve something that might not have a neat and tidy resolution.

I've heard antidepressants can help with that. I'm not currently on any, but it's something I've considered in the past. For now, I find that physical AND mental interruptions to break that downward spiral is the best course of action that doesn't involve therapy and/or drugs. You're breaking yourself of a negative mental habit, and that's never easy. Good luck.