[ SECRET POST #6159 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6159 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Markiplier TV/Markiplier Egos]



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[The Great British Bake Off]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 08 secrets from Secret Submission Post #880.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Holiday dread

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

Eh, I wouldn't chosen words like "you're feeding into the problem" but I agree with the overall message that it might be best to pick your battles. It's entirely possible your dad gets something out of bugging people and having them push back on silly things. Maybe not reacting might take the wind out of his sails. But idk, you would know him best.

If your dad is just going to get worse if you don't say anything at all, maybe take him aside during the times he's not being "humorous" and tell him seriously that this bothers you to the point of feeling stressed anticipating his visits. If that's not an option, you could practice radical acceptance if this is who he is and isn't likely to change.

Re: Holiday dread

[(Anonymous)]

It's a bit weird that people assume I'm not picking my battles. I've reported only two incidents with my dad in this thread... there are many more where I shrug, roll my eyes, walk away, whatever. But I do need him to flush the toilet and it's a bit baffling to me that anyone might imply that this isn't a worthy battle. It totally is, for me.

FWIW, I don't think my dad gets a charge out of provoking people. He's not a malicious person, nor is he spiteful. I think it would make him sad and confused if he knew how much I hated these stupid little exchanges. That's actually what makes it harder - he genuinely, sincerely believes he's helping you when he tells you about things or corrects you about stuff. He's a total mansplainer, too, and believes he's just being helpful. I once saw him explain to a group of fully grown adults how a library works and cringed every second because it definitely sounded like he thought they were too dumb to be regular readers and had never set foot in a library in their lives. I sat that battle out and changed the subject, because I figured dragging it out would only make things worse.

But you really do have to address this in the moment, which is why taking him aside at another time won't work. He lacks self-awareness, and while he's still very sharp, his memory isn't what it used to be. I'd have to explain every detail of what I mean (which would piss me off) and there's a good chance he wouldn't remember, and won't take it seriously because it doesn't sound familiar to him. Nor will be store that nugget of info away and correct his behavior next time.