fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6184 ]

[ SECRET POST #6184 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6184 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 33 secrets from Secret Submission Post #884.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

After seeing a guy describe himself as aromantic and asexual while talking about how deeply in love he was with his wife and how hot he found his girlfriends, I'm...inclined to agree with AYRT.

Sometimes, gatekeeping is necessary.

You don't do that by ceding the term to the assholes. It's why we reclaimed words like queer and fag. It's easier to reclaim them when you don't lose them in the first place.

But when people appropriate them, that is a kind of loss, because they stop describing the community they were meant to describe.

Nope, you can pry my queer, and my fag, and my ace out of my cold dead hands. I worked for them, I suffered for them, I bled for them. These are MINE.

Did you?

Yes, I did.

How?

What work did you do? How do you bleed for a few monosyllabic slang terms?

I'm not going to indulge your desire for torture porn. Either I have to bare my emotional scaring for the internet, only to be called a liar, or I don't do that, only to be called a liar. So you can take your demands that I pass some kind of test that you seem to think you're the judge for and fuck right off.

Sweetie, no. That argument only works *before* you play the martyr card.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2023-12-12 16:12 (UTC) - Expand

I'm sorry, did you just acknowledge you appropriated all those words, and then declare that your appropriation was "work" and "suffering?"

It's not appropriation when you fit the definition. I've never felt attracted to anyone in my life.

What in the world are you talking about, then?

I'm saying that, just because a dude who says he was sexually attracted to all his girlfriends and his wife also says he's ace, doesn't mean the word has lost all meaning.

Words still means the same thing, even if someone uses them incorrectly.

And I would appreciate it if people didn't use the misuse to claim that the word asexual has no meaning. Because once the word has no meaning, well, then we shouldn't use that word - which is just a way to erase asexuals from the conversation, which is what the anti-ace people want.

The definition of asexual is part of my identity, just like the gay/fag/queer/lesbian/etcetcetc are words that mean something to the lgbt community.

What are YOU talking about?

I'm talking about people appropriating terms from a community and, making those terms about them instead, and diluting their meaning in the process.

A word doesn't become meaningless just because someone declares that it is. It becomes meaningless when its common usage becomes so broad that it no longer has a cogent definition. Language is alive, and dynamic; none of it is set in stone, and if enough people decide to use a word "incorrectly," then the incorrect usage eventually becomes the correct one.

Was it you who said that it's easier to reclaim a word when it doesn't get lost in the first place? Well, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about maintaining a strict boundary around these words so that they retain their current meaning, and so that they continue to belong to the communities they currently describe.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2023-12-12 06:14 (UTC) - Expand

NAYRT - Out of interest, how do you feel about men calling themselves 'women' and 'female' then? These are words that have had a standard definition for decades, if not centuries, but are now considered somehow nebulous or have circular definitions in some (expanding) circles.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2023-12-12 09:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2023-12-13 21:51 (UTC) - Expand

AYRT

(Anonymous) - 2023-12-15 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2023-12-12 10:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2023-12-13 21:43 (UTC) - Expand

I'm asexual. I think the term had become too broad. 🤷‍♀️

So... do you agree with the person up there that we should just abandon it? Why did you use it here, then?

Literally no one said that but you??

That's literally what the first comment says...

Asexuality has become so broad a term that it flat out doesn't feel like it means anything anymore.

and then further down...

But when people appropriate them, that is a kind of loss, because they stop describing the community they were meant to describe.

None of whom are me. So.....

Which of those comments says that the term should no longer be used?

"doesn't feel like it means anything anymore" = feels meaningless

"You don't do that by ceding the term to the assholes" = word should maintain original definition against bad faith users

to which they said:

"because they stop describing the community they were meant to describe" = lost meaning

"that is a kind of loss" = term no longer applies

feels meaningless + lost meaning + term no longer applies = term is useless

Why would you continue to use and advocate using a term that you feel is meaningless, useless, and no longer applies??

Seriously, what kind of reading are they teaching in schools these days??

Your reading comprehension is low.

If you can't see that 1+2=3, then you need to go back to school.

I'm asexual and I know asexuals are capable of being asshole gatekeepers like you. You'd probably get along great with the ace who kept me confused and silent about my identity for a year because according to her, real aces have never even thought about sex and anyone who has is a straight girl who society loves because she has a low libido like girls are supposed to. (Suuuuper confusing, since when I had thought about sex before realizing I didn't want to have it, I had thought about it with both guys and girls? And I was a girl? And that made me straight?)

Religious society: girls are supposed to not like or care about sex!!11!

Wasn't until a friend asked me to go with her to buy a sex manual because she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend that I realized girls in fact did like and care about sex. Took me years to figure out I wasn't broken, just ace.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only