[ SECRET POST #6295 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6295 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #900.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

You know, Kenneth Branagh has been doing movie adaptations of Christie's Poirot works for the past few years and a lot of the cast is stellar, but I can't get over my distaste for at least one of the actors each in Murder on the Orient Express and Death on the Nile (A Haunting in Venice just isn't my thing), so I kind of understand where people might be coming from.

[(Anonymous)]

Um, Kenneth Branagh's Poirot movies are shit for more reasons than Depp and Hammer:

- Branagh is not a good Poirot. His acting (a bad French accent) does not make up for not resembling the character at all.
- adding a tragic backstory to Poirot shows that Branagh fundamentally misunderstands Poirot as a character. He is a fussy Belgian genius detective bachelor who is constantly holidaying! He seems meanish but is actually quite sweet! He generally likes his life as it is! And that's okay!
- the first two adaptations were servicable. The last (including the plot changes and nods to the supernatural) was pretty bad. And all three look pretty mediocre when your remember:
- the Suchet adaptations exist, and are better in every respect as both adaptations and live action stories than the Branagh films.

I will never not watch a big budget murder mystery movie, because that's my jam. But the Branagh Poirot movies DID NOT need to exist.

The only thing that I was give with was diversifying the cast. Christie's stories are escapist murder mysteries first and representations of their time, including its bigotry, second. You do not take away from the former if you remove the bigotry from the latter.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

You put this all beautifully. I completely agree.

[(Anonymous)]

His bad accent was enough for me to nope out of the first movie before the plot even started.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you'll find that that is a bad Belgian accent, m'siuer.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I specifically said French not Belgian because I assume he didn't even do a good enough job to make the accent Belgian instead of French. But maybe he did and I'm just salty, idk

[philstar22]

Agreed with all of this. Then again, I was never going to be in favor of new adaptions considering I think the David Suchet version is the perfect adaption. Nothing else will ever hold a candle to his Poirot.

[meadowphoenix]

yeah, i agree, although i think i dislike the orient express one a lot because it's my favorite book.

[(Anonymous)]

This!
I tried watching Orient Express and it's just barely watchable mediocre shit.

[(Anonymous)]

They're super mediocre. But I can still waste some time sitting in front of them and enjoying the old-timey clothes and visuals and not want to bash my head in out of hatred for them.

Also, we have to support them if we want more big/mid-budget detective movies.

Also, tbh, Poirot has never really been one of my favorite detectives in the first place, so.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I watched the first in the cinema and the next two on streaming, so I did pay for them.

We absolutely do not need to support mediocre vanity projects. We should support good movies, like Knives Out. But also, like Knives Out, if the movie is good, the audience will follow. Knives Out is a also clearly a big factor in a lot of new cosy mystery content being greenlit. So I think it's fine to vote with our feet against Branagh's Poirot and for better content.

[(Anonymous)]

Hollywood studios aren't just gonna stop making mediocre movies. We just have to choose which kind of mediocrity we find the most preferable - personally I'd rather it be golden age detective mysteries than superhero movies.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Genres in Hollywood are cyclical. We are seeing the decline of superhero movies now BECAUSE studios started making every single one mediocre, and the audience stopped caring. And now we're seeing more in interest in midbudget movies like romcoms again. Point is, supporting mediocrity does not get you what you want.

[(Anonymous)]

I watched the first adaptation and didn't hate it, but didn't find it particularly impressive OR memorable. Definitely not up to Gosford Park standards, IMO. Which saddened me, because I like Kenneth Branagh and was keen for another Poirot adaptation.

[(Anonymous)]

I think Death On The Nile is, somehow, the best of the three.

Which like. It is not a very good movie at all!