Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2024-04-21 03:50 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2024-04-21 03:50 pm
[ SECRET POST #6316 ]
⌈ Secret Post #6316 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[Ayviedoesthings]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 37 secrets from Secret Submission Post #903.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Non-fandom secrets.
(Anonymous) 2024-04-22 10:47 am (UTC)(link)I keep wondering why seemingly subtle and small things seem to make me uneasy and I realize it's because I'm clocking in how I or my friends/peers center a man/men and how it fucks me/women over.
For example, I began to notice how one friend often showed off all the great things going on in his life but he never praised or complimented me or our other friends in our group chat when the rest of us showed off things we were proud of or excited about.
I then also noticed how enthusiastic I am in listening to his issues and giving him words of encouragement but he never really reciprocated.
It took me a while to realize that this friend, even if he's gay, still benefits from me being interested in his life because I am so used to supporting others in my life (especially those I care a lot about) due to the social conditioning of girls thinking of helping others and being invested in their life almost more than my own.
My friend is a guy and he doesn't have to think about how the women in his life show up for him and that he likely takes advantage of his position as a man without even really realizing that he can be rather shit at showing up for his friends because he wasn't socially conditioned to put others he cares for before him.
I have another friend who often says she's a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man...yet she often throws other women aside or does things to pit herself against other women when a guy comes around.
Even if it's not for romantic attention, she'll do things to "prove" she's better than the rest of us. Or she'll completely disregard women's experiences and place her trust and support on a man.
Not always but she does it when it's a man she's invested in.
Johnny Depp? Johnny Depp is an old washed up actor, MONSTER!
Ansel Elgort? He's young and talented, he's made mistakes, everyone deserves a second chance.
I see you, girl. I see you and it makes me uncomfortable how you still pick and choose certain men to put on a pedestal.
Re: Non-fandom secrets.
(Anonymous) 2024-04-22 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)People saying this out loud often are covering their own insecurities. I've seen it with all my friends who said something similar: they all ended out partnered up before their 40s to (in my opinion) questionable men...
BTW I'm going to say this possibly very controversial thing: in my own experience gay men are the worst and most subtle misogynist around. I'm a lesbian and that's possibly my bias talking, but I noticed that gay men in particular often dismiss me with sometimes resentment. Like, the fact that I am a women and like women and don't cater my attention to the needs of men kind of offend some of them in a very particular way. I don't get that.
Never had the same experience with bi men. Or even with cishet men, for that matter, which is baffling to me because a lot of cishet men are not very pleasant to be around as a lesbian...
Re: Non-fandom secrets.
(Anonymous) 2024-04-23 06:59 am (UTC)(link)