[ SECRET POST #6349 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6349 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Justice League]



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07. [WARNING for discussion of weight loss/potentially EDs]




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08. [WARNING for discussion of underage ships/pedophilia]























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #907.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. [WARNING for discussion of weight loss/potentially EDs]
https://i.imgur.com/xUznrAh.png

[(Anonymous)]

we're definitely not watching the same shows.

[(Anonymous)]

I get you

[starfleetbrat]

what shows is this happening in?

or is it just fat women existing in media and OP assuming that means the message is that its ok to be fat?

[(Anonymous)]

A) I don't see this anywhere. What are you watching?
B) You're not the main character of the world. Most people are more harmed by fat exclusion/phobia than fat inclusivity.

Re B)

[(Anonymous)]

They are the main character of their own show (aka their life) amd are allowed to be upset about things. This type of reply is incredibly dismissive and pretty insulting.

Re: Re B)

[(Anonymous)]

They can be upset about it, but they're the curator of their own experience. There are 50 bazillion shows that make fun of fat people and say only thin people are worth anything. They can go watch those instead of assuming that all messaging in every show is directed at them personally.

Re: Re B)

[(Anonymous)]

DA

And pretty funny, considering you've got someone going "this is so important and good, because it benefits me (and some group I belong to), but if you disagree for your own personal reasons, shut up with that selfishness!"

[paperghost]

I'm sympathetic to OP because I actively want to lose weight and don't like a lot of weight positivity discouraging that, but I'm also wondering what shows are even saying this? Is the message that it's okay to be fat and supporting it, or that is just isn't a moral failing? Or is that what you take away from seeing a fat woman in any context? Don't watch these shows, it's not targeting you specifically.

[feotakahari]

Unfortunately, “your doctor says you need to lose weight” doesn’t always round off to “you need to lose weight.” Sometimes it’s “your doctor is an idiot who’s ignoring the actual issue.” https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/lijukc/i_lost_75_pounds_so_doctors_would_stop_blaming/

[(Anonymous)]

This. Doctors tend to default to that for almost every issue. Especially if you're a woman. It took me forever, but I finally found a doctor who asked on my first visit if I wanted to lose weight. I said no, and she's never mentioned it as the solution for anything.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes!
As a fat woman (and not that fat, but "we are using eugenics system to judge you" fat) I had my share of doctors just ignoring any of my issues just to spew about weight loss. Like even if my weight is affecting my health they were just doing nothing. On one fun occasion doctor just decided for themselves that I need to get thin and prescribed me medicine that basically make you shit non stop. Yeh, sure.
Next health solution is to make babies, also fun one.

[(Anonymous)]

Doesn't mean that it's not necessary to lose weight in a lot of cases.

[(Anonymous)]

So your solution is to tell all fat people that no, fuck what their doctors says, they dont akshually need to lose weight because you know better?
Just because this is a common mistake some doctors make doesn't mean it's never necessary.

[(Anonymous)]

A doctor should keep their eyes peeled for symptoms of other diseases not tied to obesity. If they're coming from a place where only thinner people get something like lyme disease, they need to change their thinking.

[(Anonymous)]

While this is true, the only context we have is OP saying it's important. So I'm taking the secret at face value. We just don't know what they're specifically talking about and I'd rather not make assumptions. That said I appreciate you sharing the link, really striking how many people said they lost someone because doctors wouldn't investigate the person's health beyond weight.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not even overweight by any of the standard medical measures, nor do I have any medical issues linked to weight in even the most glorious fatphobe's imagination, and I get told to try a low-fat low-carb diet for weight loss every time I go to the doctor.

There are definitely people who do need to lose weight for medical reasons - i.e., people who are having lifechanging surgery withheld by their insurance until they can crash their bodyweight - but op, doctors don't know shit about healthy bodyweights or what conditions are actually truly improved by weight loss.

[(Anonymous)]

This might be way off or might be relatable, feel free to ignore anything that doesn't apply. Just some personal thoughts that came to mind. Good luck with your health goals.

It sounds like you may have some pretty intense body dysmorphia triggers. Your situation is serious, it's completely legit to need to lose weight for medical reasons. At the same time, it's not a reflection on your choices for your health when someone else is different. I used to struggle with thoughts like this and was on the receiving end of something similar, a friend cutting me off because my body and eating habits were different than theirs (both of us were in ED recovery), which they interpreted as me purposefully acting out ED behaviors to trigger them, when really we just were two different people with different bodies who liked eating different things. I was sad the friendship ended, but relieved to have space away from being judged for "doing my health wrong." I also used to get very anxious when characters on TV and friends of mine would talk about dieting in ways that would be unhealthy for me, but as time as passed and I've become more secure in my choices for my body and health, I've come to feel much more neutral, like it's not for me to say what is healthiest for others or to stop people from making unhealthy choices. If someone else gains weight, I don't. If someone else loses weight, I don't. Other people can drink alcohol, it's not healthy for me so I don't give in to the urge to join in. I smoke weed occasionally even though plenty of people I know don't for their own health reasons. Etc, etc. Other people's bodies don't affect mine.

The feeling of seeing other people going through something that sucked/sucks for you (and especially being *happy* with it, ewww) is really painful. Being able to let go of that feeling has been pretty helpful for me.

[meadowphoenix]

i mean i don't really know of any media about weight loss or lifestyle changes that don't reinforce toxic diet culture, which seems like it wouldn't be great for you either, but it seems like you are over-identifying with people who aren't in your situation, so i would try to separate yourself from those characters if at all possible.

[(Anonymous)]

This is dumb.

Most media doesn't include fat people at all, and the ones that do just (if they're realistic) have people who happen to be fat, not to preach that it's okay or whatever. It just is what it is.

I like my media to be realistic, and realistically, one of the nurses on the surgical team is gonna be fat, just like LA is going to have Hispanic people and a tech company is going to have some Asians working there, unless it's in Sweden or something. It's REALISTIC.

[(Anonymous)]

Do.... do you think there are no Asian people in Sweden?

[(Anonymous)]

Best of luck with your health journey, op. I know it's not easy, and it's not always easy to shut out advice that wasn't meant for you, but you deserve to feel better.

[(Anonymous)]

https://www.instagram.com/thefitnesschef_/ He helped me to understand better about carbs and food, so I wouldn't start to hate food because "doctors or influencers tell me so".

[(Anonymous)]

Recs? Because I'm not seeing any "it's aok to be anything but super skinny" in visual media. And I'd like to.

Recs for you: anything made before 2005.

[(Anonymous)]

Anti-rec your rec! (from someone who was a fat kid in the 80s).