[ SECRET POST #6353 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6353 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Honkai: Star Rail]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 22 secrets from Secret Submission Post #908.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Reminds me of that trans(or not? I think they weren't quite sure anymore afterwards) person who took testosterone and then got the classic male balding pattern that made them (early 20s) look like a middle aged accountant. And then they made a video to cry about it because weirdly, the glorious HRT didn't make them look like the cute twinky dreamboi they imagined themselves to turn into but like just.., a washed out dude. And theybregretted it immensely and they were mocked relentlessly for everything, not by cis people but by other "trans dudes" who had the good fortune that (at that point in time at least) the testosterone hadn't made their hair fall out (yet).

And shit like denying that there are side-effects, and be it just something harmless like balding, acne or hair growth in places you don't want it to, cultivated this toxic environment were people in their own community mock and attack each other for perfectly natural side effects that do, in fact, occur.

The whole thing also makes a lot of trans people end up unhappy with the bodies they end up with because their "no critical voices allowed" echo chambers made them have incredibly unrealistic expectations.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

This is really sad to me! D: It's really hard to talk openly in public about something as personal as balding and other aspects of physical appearance that make people very self-conscious. To be mocked for *common side effects* of transitioning is just awful.

It's always a bit interesting to me how in any progressive/social justice movement (or any form of politics, really), you can always identify a certain type of person who gladly throws individuals in their own group under the bus just because those individuals' personal experiences would be "bad optics" for the movement as a whole. Like, if you can't treat a single person with kindness and empathy, I don't think you'll be very good at creating a world where everyone is treated with kindness and empathy -- it's a bit self-undermining.

[(Anonymous)]

It's often a matter of tearing others down to feel better about themselves. The whole community is unfortunately just as full of mean spirited bullies and narcicists as other communities.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

But yeah, I've seen this. A recurring pain point in the detrans community in Reddit seems to be that testosterone has unpredictable and potentially irreversible effects on a woman's voice. It doesn't necessarily give them a masculine voice, and can fuck with their ability to pass as either gender. But I get the impression that a lot of the more talked about symptoms are less embarrassing to confess to other people. I was recently reading about trans men who've been pushed into the hormone equivalent of a post-menopausal state in their twenties by taking testosterone. Pelvic floor muscle loss was making them incontinent, and apparently this is an extremely common problem? And, I mean, I'm absolutely not bringing this up to embarrass anyone, I'm saying something because this is the sort of thing they should have been told was a risk before taking anything. And apparently weren't.

[(Anonymous)]

Regarding voice, I think that's a very personal thing and it depends on the person. There's a lot of range of registers and timbres among (cis) men and women in terms of their natural speaking voice. I personally like registers in between the typical women's range and the typical men's range and find them pleasing to listen to (I'm cis), but for someone else it may be disappointing or not sound like the voice they wanted. They might feel like it shuts them out of passing credibly as a man or a woman, even if their voice is actually within the range that cis men and cis women have. The point I'm trying to make is that there is the physical reality (how your voice changes) and there's the mental/psychological framing (whether the person likes the change or not), and I feel like the way you're presenting it in your comment conflates those two things. Changes can be unpredictable and irreversible without necessarily being bad or unwanted, but it depends on the person and how they feel about it. People can have the feeling that their new voice makes it impossible for them to credibly pass as either a man or a woman without that actually being reality. A trans person (or detrans person) can hate the sound of their own voice without it being the case that other people also hate it too. Subjective reality is not the same thing as objective reality, and for someone going through a hard and disappointing transition, you need to be careful not to "yes and" all their negative subjective impressions and you need to provide an objective reality check for them (yes, it's disappointing; yes, you've lost something important to you; yes, this hurts; no, it's not the end of the world; no, you're not irreparably broken).

And then regarding incontinence, to be honest, incontinence is an issue that even pre-menopausal women face a lot that is very underdiscussed in general because it's embarrassing. Going on birth control can cause someone to become incontinent (hi, me). This is not even listed as a side effect of my birth control pill, but it happens. I know pre-menopausal women who have difficulty holding in their pee and this has led to accidents in public and this is just a state of being. I'm not saying it's not an issue or that people can't complain about this happening to them (they can and should!). I just think that there's a tendency to exaggerate the negative impact of transition side effects and view them as special or extraordinary compared to other treatments that people might voluntarily request from their healthcare system.

I think there is a huge difference between listening to and validating a person who is lamenting the disappointing and unexpected effects of transition and regretting their decision to transition vs. completely validating that person's beliefs that they are irrevocably broken by having transitioned. Saying things like "Oh your voice is in between two registers and it's permanently stuck like that? I guess you'll never be able to credibly pass as either a man or a woman. That's tragic" or "You're incontinent now, pre-menopause? Wow that's awful," that have a sense of defeatism or that validate someone's feelings that they ARE actually broken and fucked up and unable to integrate into society anymore are statements that not only negatively affect trans people but also cis people who are affected by the exact same problems.