[ SECRET POST #6406 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 64 secrets from Secret Submission Post #916.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. https://i.imgur.com/o6eMfYX.png

[(Anonymous)]

"healthy male friendships in fiction is almost as rare as gay male relationships" is taking it a little far, yes. Especially because the tumblr post is alluding to mainstream fiction, where no, friendships are definitely more common than gay relationships between two men.

But I'd also find it obnoxious for readers to tell the author of the work in question that their straight male character who has a close friendship is actually gay/bi because two men can't be close without a romantic/sexual relationship and anyone who says otherwise is a homophobe. Both male friendships and m/m relationships are good, and liking either or both in fiction is fine.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[queenslayerbee]

"Men are too scared to be affectionate to their male friends because people might think they're gay!" Somehow these people never seem to realise the problem they're describing is. Homophobia. Homophobic men, in particular, afraid of what other homophobic men will think of them. Idk why they think chiding slash shippers will fix here, but alas. Reminds me if all the "male loneliness epidemia" nonsense and how it's framed smh.

(I agree so much with this secret, op. This post and similar ones drive me up the wall. Worse: I've even seen this sentiment expressed with lesbian characters. Because fiction is just saturated with stories about us and our relationships lmao).

[(Anonymous)]

It's true about homophobia being the reason, but I think that if there were no homophobia but everything else about our culture was the same, it would still be a problem. I've always been worried about showing too much affection to any of my friends, especially my male friends, and I was a girl (and still often seen as one) and afraid that people would think I had a crush on them because girls are supposed to have crushes on boys and vice versa. Even now, I get questions occasionally about whether me and one of my male friends are dating... just by hanging out with them. Shipping culture's "any two people who are close must be a couple" thing is mostly fine with me because they mostly don't treat real people that way... mostly. But I think ironically, normie non-shippers often do.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, yeah, that's because part of homophobia is heteronormativity. You were perceived as a girl, therefore have to watch your interactions around boys. Boys can interact with boys in certain ways and not be considered "gay" but cannot step outside those lines. Same for girls and girls, but different lines.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like the people who say this sort of thing have never interacted with other men before because my straight male friends will absolutely do stuff like slap each other on the ass and make gay jokes and no one ever gets offended or thinks that it is anything more than just that, a joke.

[(Anonymous)]

Ass slaps are different from sincere affection. Your friends are doing the "no homo" thing, which is very common and part of the problem.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure the fact that men are socialized to think that they can't be close to other men should be dismissed as "nonsense."

[(Anonymous)]

+1000!

[queenslayerbee]

I called "male loneliness epidemic" (as a way of describing a phenomenon) nonsense. And it is, from many reasons ranging from the fact that people talking about this clearly think women aren't as emotionally complex as men, to how they act like it's on women to do the work so men don't feel lonely.

It's also fascinating how male friendships are held on a pedestal because of how sincere and "drama free" they are as opposed to female friendships (as we are jealous backstabbing bitches but they're above such pettiness). Yet these men want to rely on one single woman to fulfill every emotional need as to not feel "lonely".

[(Anonymous)]

What an insipid post. The reblogs too.

[erinptah]

Oh hey, it's the thing I made this post about.

You'd think it would get out-of-date at some point! But no =(

[feotakahari]

I’d go the opposite route. “These guys aren’t in love because they don’t even care enough about each other to really dislike each other.”